Wild, Crazy, Silly, Stupid Things you believed were true as a kid

[Montauk6]

I truly thought that the proper spelling of "Honky Cat" was "Honky Chateau"

I thought Bob Hope and Hubert Humphrey were brothers.

I thought pretzels would kill you from lye poisoning.

I thought the "agony of defeat" skiier on "ABC's Wide World of Sports" was President Ford, because of a column in a sports magazine; and I didn't understand the concept of "tongue in cheek."

As a toddler, I assumed that stop lights had proper names like Steve or Fred and that my mother would know what they were ("And what's HIS name, Mom?")

I thought Neil Diamond and Jack Lemmon were Beatles.

I thought a blinking red light meant that the traffic light unit needed repair.

[Mist]

1. I called roast beef "roast beef bird", for some reason. It just sounded

better that way! I thought the pledge of allegiance said "for Richard stands" instead of "for which it stands." I thought I would grow up to be a girl spy, and work with the men from UNCLE. I thought the men from UNCLE were real. I thought Yale University was where they made Yale locks. I thought hiding under the bed would work if the Russians attacked us.

[av8rdave]

9. Long before I even heard of Dr Seuss, I called "roast beef" "roast beast"

But then, my daughter referred to the airport as the "airpork" until she was almost 5.

I never felt it was appropriate to tell her that "airpork" is the act of joining the mile high club.

[Mist]

17. "Airpork-the act of joining the mile high club." LOL! That's a keeper! nt

[FloridaJudy]

38. I thought "Richard Stands" was the Secretary of State.

He was a Republican, of course!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

2. I thought the traffic lights knew to change to green when they saw

my Grandfather coming. He was a Judge and I just "knew" he was THAT powerful!! :D

[harmonicon]

30. I thought there was a man inside them watching traffic and changing them when they needed changing

.... I knew that might not make sense, so I figured if that wasn't the case, there was a guy in a box or building close by who changed them.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

44. Seems like my Grandpa explained it by saying something about

"sensors"...on his car that was detected by the lights. :shrug: :D :hi:

[YankeyMCC]

3. I thought my parents should've voted for Ford

because he had the 'experience' of already being president :)

I was 9 or 10 at the time

[harmonicon]

31. yeah....

I had a similar thing with Reagan and Bush I, until Clinton came along, and my dad took us to a Clinton rally. To my parents' credit, I think it's really great that they just kept us kids completely innocent of politics and their own political views until they thought we were old enough to understand why they felt and voted the way they do.

[lost-in-nj]

4. We had oil heat

and big old radiators....

I thought the oil warmed up and ran through the pipes...
found out it was water :rofl:


lost

[DarkTirade]

5. I thought my parents really could get rich from Amway.

[1gobluedem]

6. I thought My Three Sons were the Lever Brothers

Because that's who sponsored the show.

[OakCliffDem]

37. I thought the weathermen on TV really could forecast the weather

[Dukkha]

7. that the yellow traffic light meant go really fast!

the electricity coming into your house physically had an end and we would reach it soon

commercials for sales were telling you much money to save so you can buy their product

factories made clouds and they came out of their smoke stacks

[sasquatch]

8. I thought Babe Ruth never died

and Teachers actually had eyes in the back of their heads.

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. I thought there was a judge of some sort of that sorted people into sides for war.

And I hoped that the judge guy wouldn't put my friends and I on opposite sides, because I didn't want to kill them.

I was about 3 or 4 at the time, and the Vietnam war was going on, so my barely grown brain was clearly trying to make some sense of what was happening - I also had a couple uncles in the war, and my dad had served in the army earlier (between the wars, thankfully), and so there was military talk and whatnot in the house.

And I do remember also thinking, sort of by default, that war must be something that goes on all the time.

I had no idea of the horror of it, or what it really was, just that it involved killing people, and I thought it was something that all adults had to go through.

[MilesColtrane]

11. Most of the insane stuff I believed was told to me by my older brother, or...

...other older kids just to eff with me.

The Devil lived under our back porch steps.

You can change gender if you can kiss your elbow.

Stepping on a crack in the sidewalk will break your mother's back.

Then there was the stupid stuff I believed from watching T.V. i. e. The Monkees and the Partridge Family really were bands, and they really did all live together in a house.

[Oeditpus Rex]

12. If I ran off a cliff

I could get back onto it if I just made a really quick U-turn.

I never got to test this theory, though.



Cartoons rock. :headbang:

[panhead1961]

13. I thought Mr. Green Jeans was Frank Zappa's father

Where babies come from - no details required

Easter Bunny - just plain silly

smoking was cool

30 years old was ancient

[mitchum]

14. I thought that Tennessee Williams and Tennessee Ernie Ford were the same person...

TV showed naked people after midnight
drinking Coke with watermelon would kill you
I could outrun my shadow

[Sanity Claws]

15. I thought the Three Bears lived in a forest near my house.

[libodem]

16. I thought that the wind blew

because of the trees waving back and forth.

[bamademo]

18. I thought there was a god and a Jesus

[mcctatas]

19. I thought that the TV was filled with little people...

and that the different channels were actually some kind of elevator system, when you changed the channel it went up or down a floor.


Oh, wait, when I was a kid......

[otherlander]

20. I thought that people who were color blind

actually had X-ray vision and could see through walls.

[struggle4progress]

21. I thought you got fired by the firing squad. It seemed excessive punishment for sleeping on the job

[LostInAnomie]

22. I had a bunch of crazy ones about sex when I was a kid.

I thought that you got women pregnant by putting your wiener in their butt (now I know it's just a way for a good time). I also thought that if you wanted twins you had to put it in there twice.

[Danger Mouse]

23. That dreams could come true.

[GOPisEvil]

24. I thought music on the radio would pause when you got out of the car.

Imagine my shock.

[harmonicon]

32. that's high-tech

I thought there were bands playing in some building somewhere nearby, and that was what was being broadcast on the radio.

[Jamastiene]

25. Matthew 7:7-8 King James Version

(7) Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: (8) For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Nuh-uh. It only works for some people. It's not for everyone. That offer has ALWAYS been void and prohibited for me. :shrug:

[Manifestor_of_Light]

56. I can relate to that one.

And so can a few million other people for whom Christianity doesn't work.

God never talked to me or told me what to do. I've stopped waiting for that message from God.

And I've learned that gut feelings are always right.

[marigold20]

I thought Mouseketeer Annette went to my grade school.

A sixth grader resembled her - I was in first grade. My brothers had a good laugh at my expense.

[marigold20]

26. I thought Mouseketeer Annette went to my grade school.

A sixth grader resembled her - I was in first grade. My brothers had a good laugh at my expense.

[LibDemAlways]

28. Back in the early 80's Annette was a parent at the

school where I taught. She would come and help cook hot dogs on Wednesdays which was "hot lunch" day. Very nice lady. She drove around in a big cadillac with cow horns on the front. It's a shame that her health problems developed not long after that.

[NanceGreggs]

27. I was a VERY gullible kid ...

... and my cousin, Bobby (who was two years older than me, and therefore a "mature adult") would tell me the most outrageous things - knowing I'd believe them.

Our grandfather owned a bar in Brooklyn, and he used to get blocks of ice delivered, which he would then break up into chunks with a baseball bat and put in a trough to use for iced drinks at the bar.

Bobby told me that this was the SAME baseball bat grandpa used to kill the rats in the basement, where he stored the barrels of beer.

For years, when I'd go into my grandfather's bar and ask for a coke, I would put my hand over the glass after it was poured and say, "NO ICE!" My grandfather would often say it needed some ice, because it was warm - but I was adamant.

When Bobby and I walked home from Mass on a Sunday, we would talk about what might be on "Picture for a Sunday Afternoon", which was usually a classic movie (which I LOVED). But at certain times of the year, Bobby intended to hog my grandparents' TV set and watch a baseball game. So he would tell me it was a movie - he'd make up an appropriate title, like, "Drama in the Bullpen". I'd say that sounded good, what's it about? "Oh, it's about bullfighters," he'd say.

So we'd get in front of the TV, and he'd put on the game - and tell me it was the opening of a movie. "Just be patient," he'd say. "Any minute now, Tyrone Power is going to come out on the field and fight a bull. It will be VERY dramatic, and Susan Hayward will fall in love with him when he does it. But alas, they are star-crossed lovers, and their passion was never meant to be."

I can't tell you how many innings I sat through waiting for Tyrone to win Susan's heart.

Yeah, I was only nine or ten - but, geez - I WAS DUMB.

[LibDemAlways]

29. I thought Hugh Beaumont of Leave it to Beaver fame was

actually "Hubo Mont".

I also thought a carpool was a car with a pool in it, but could never figure out how that worked.

[harmonicon]

33. baseball on tv:

I thought the games were correographed, and that's what determined why my dad was watching a "Cubs game", even if they were playing the Padres, or Mets - if the Mets were going to win, it would be called a "Mets game". Now, I'm pretty certain that I didn't always think this, but that it came about from my parents telling me that what was on TV wasn't real, and explaining acting and fiction. I was pretty young then - maybe 3 or 4.

I also thought that George Washington was the president, and that if I did something really bad, we would go to court, he would be the judge, and my parents would go to jail forever. So I tried not to do bad things.

[Fire Walk With Me]

34. That what is right will win.

[murielm99]

35. When I was a kid,

my dad worked for the railroad. He started out as a telegrapher.

He worked in a tower not far from our house. I used to bring him his lunch and eat lunch with him sometimes when I was five and six years old.

He communicated with the dispatcher over a phone/microphone device, and with the dispatcher and other operators by telegraph. He often had to hand up train orders to passing trains by standing near the tracks with a piece of paper tied up in a bamboo pole that was Y-shaped.

There were lights and signals to tell when trains were coming. And there was voice and telegraph communication to tell him when to throw switches manually so that trains would be switched to other tracks. There was a whole bank of these switch-throwing levers in the tower.

But coolest of all was the switch he threw to bring down the crossing gates and start the lights and bells that would stop the cars when a train was coming. (There were no automatic crossing gates in those days).

Sometimes my dad let me throw the switch to put the gates down. Then I would look out the window, or go stand on the steps to name all the cars and count them. I loved the trains.

I was convinced that my dad controlled when a train would come by. All he had to do was lower the crossing gates. He threw the switches that put them on different tracks or sidings, so why not? One day I was bored, because no trains had come by in a while. So I threw the switch to lower the gates. Of course, no train came, and I got into a lot of trouble.

[Hardrada]

36. When I was little I called Democrats "Damn Cats"

and thought Eisenhower should be president because he didn't use bad words. (I listened to my uncles too much).

[FloridaJudy]

39. I thought skyscrapers really *did* scrape the sky

But that they only turned them on at night, while everyone was sleeping.

That klieg lights were looking for enemy planes. I'd hide under my bed every time there was a movie or a supermarket opening.

That if you accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil, you'd die of lead poisoning.

That if you got really, really, really mad, your head could explode.

That if you crossed your eyes at midnight, they'd get stuck that way forever.

That peanut butter really did "stick to your ribs" - from the inside.

That babies emerged from pregnant women's belly buttons.

That fog was made by fog horns.

That if you told a lie, Jack Webb would come to your house and arrest you.

That if you ate enough carrots, you'd be able to see in the dark.

Some of it was other people messing with a little kid's head, and some was just misunderstanding common expressions. I still won't cross my eyes at midnight, even though I know better.

[jakefrep]

40. I thought all the traffic lights were controlled by Bill Cosby from an underground cave.

Probably something I saw on Fat Albert.

[amyrose2712]

41. I thought Mr Potato Heads lived in the

field behind my house, and I was sure they were going to eat my feet if I followed my older sister!
I also thought Ted and Ed Kennedy were different people.

[nuxvomica]

42. I thought poisonous tomatoes grew beyond the mountains

And that puffed-wheat cereal was used as a component in electric fans.

The former was due to my dad's facetious answer during a Sunday drive when I asked what was behind all the mountains that surrounded us. The latter was because we had an old oscillating fan that had a piece of puffed wheat stuck just inside one of the rear motor vents for years.

[nuxvomica]

43. dupe

How did that happened? :shrug:

[applegrove]

45. A few friends of mine, in grade 2 or so, were going to run away from home. They

were in on girl's basement loading up bags with soap (to wittle) and camping stuff cause they were planning to live in the woods in our neighbourhood. They were also planning to keep going to school. I suggested that their parents would find them pretty quick if they kept going to school. They didn't agree. I believe they started the process of running away from home but got caught. I never found out the details but my mom asked me and I said "it didn't make any sense" or something.

[Common Sense Party]

46. I thought the vapor trails from jets were what made the clouds. n/t

[warrior1]

47. A little girl

at my school, I think it was the 2nd grade said that the box in the ladies room had a mirror and brush for only a nickel. So one day I tried it. It only had a kotex in the box. I ditch it in the cafeteria. Stupid girl.

[charlie and algernon]

48. I thought the Susquahanna River was pronounced "Squishy Hanna"

:rofl:

[Whoa_Nelly]

49. If you swallowed your gum, it took 7 years to come out the other end

:rofl:

[JitterbugPerfume]

50. I thought I had better be a good little girl

because jesus might come back any day and take us all to heaven

[brook]

51. I thought clouds

were souls on their way to heaven.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

52. If you unraveled the rubber bands inside a golf ball

and then sliced open the core, the stuff inside the core would kill you instantly if you touched it.

[Glorfindel]

53. I thought the way to send a letter to Santa was to burn it in the fireplace

Since he came down the chimney, his mail should go UP the chimney. It worked pretty well, by the way. I usually got just about everything I wanted.

[Rising Phoenix]

54. my mom told us our pet cat left to be the Whiskis cat on tv

I told everyone and they called me and my mom a liar, but I stood by my belief, that snowball was now famous.

Sad truth, appartentlly she became psychotic and violent with my baby brother and the folks had her put to sleep. :cry:

[npk]

55. I thought humans could live underwater

With the right kind of habitat and future inventions. Sadly I grew out of my beliefs.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

57. I thought that people in the same business hated each other.

I guess because of our insanely competitive society.

Later I saw pictures of rock stars having drinks together -- Paul McCartney, Keith Moon, Mick Jagger. I was floored.

[leftofthedial]

58. I believed that the USA was a democratic republic.

I know. It sounds so completely insane now, but back then . . .

[Lethe]

59. Sweet Pickles, i think it was called. I totally had a ovaltine moment

When I was a kid in the 80's, I watched Nickelodeon a lot. (Mr. Wizard, You cant do that on Television, Pinwheel, Today's Special, etc)

Anyways, they used to play these commercials non-stop for Sweet Pickles. (i'm pretty sure that's what it was called) In the commercial, a big green bus used to come to the kid's house with a whole bunch of people, all singing that great song.

So I ordered the Sweet Pickles package, and it came 8 weeks later in a brown box with some shitty cardboard cutouts and stuff. I was so pissed. I was totally expecting the Sweet Pickles bus to show up at my house and all those cool characters come out and sing songs with me and stuff.

I never was the same after that.