Help me. please..... going through something tough...

[TheMightyFavog]

During the summer of 2000, I suffered a nervous breakdown as a result of a new medication that I was put on. I fell into a very deep depression and had suicidal thoughts. It has severley scared me. I used to enjoy hunting, now, I can never trust myself around firearms ever again. Even though I was put back on my old medication, I still have short "flashbacks" to this depression that last anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour. I'm going through one of these flashbacks right now, and it's a particularly bad one, so I just need some support right now.

[bif]

1. Hang in there guy.

Think pleasant thoughts.

[TheMightyFavog]

2. I'm trying... it's very hard....

[JohnLocke]

43. A humor site that may help

theonion.com

[terrya]

3. Oh, Jonathan.

Man, you must be going through some bad stuff right now.

We're here, guy.

Talk to us.

Terry

[Dookus]

4. hold on...

breathe deep. Try to occupy your mind elsewhere - read, do a crossword, etc.

[KCDem]

5. Hey Jonathan, good move coming to us for this "flashback" time.

Just stay away from GD2004, 'k? ;)

:hi: :hug:

[MooPie]

6. Keep writing here.

I am sure there are a lot of us who will communicate with you once you get through it. We really do care about your well being. Hang in there until it passes. Do you want to talk about something that might distract you? What do you like to do since you don't hunt anymore?

[TheMightyFavog]

11. Hang out here on Du..

.Fark, Wilwheaton.net, surf the net, play games listen to Netscape@Radio (can't do it now, beacuse I'm suck with POS IE here at UW Marinette.

[MooPie]

19. I went to UW Madison

What are you studying?

[TheMightyFavog]

21. Comms.

I'm transferring out to UWSP in the fall.

[MooPie]

24. Where's that?

I'm not familiar with it. Do you like your major?

[TheMightyFavog]

26. Stevens Point

Stevens Point.

I just changed from theatre.

There ain't shit to be made in theatre.

[MooPie]

32. You're right about that.

About the only thing you can do is teach theater, but that's about it. Wow, Stevens Point I was there in the mid eighties to visit a company there, and what I remember most are the potatoes growing everywhere. Nice country. I did get to try Point beer, which you can't get down here, but that's no big deal.
What do you want to do when you graduate?

[TheMightyFavog]

37. You wanted to drink Point Beer?

Hell, if the UN ever suspects that I've actually touched a bottle of that stuff, they'll send inspectors down and confiscate my digestive sysem as a weapon of mass destruction.

[myrna minx]

30. Hey JC,

I have tons of friends in Stevens Point. I think you will love how laid back SP is, and how wonderfully progressive the student life is. Pop into the Stogie Stop when you arrive. Cool people hang out there and they always know if there is a party. Please hang in there...there is hope. :hi:

[TheMightyFavog]

33. I know that the RPG scene is pretty good there, too.

I go down every year for Trivia.

[Blue_State_Elitist]

7. Be happy

like it was 1997. Cheers mate.

[TheMightyFavog]

17. Yes.. happy times... back before all this shit went down...

back before the breakdown... back when Clinton was president... What a great guy he was. Back when nobdy had ever heard of Osama Bin Laden.... Happy times.. Back when I was in high school....

[BurtWorm]

8. You need to contact a hotline

talk to professionals. Or your doctor. It's not a good idea to get this kind of help from nonprofessionals in this forum. Others have tried it here and, well, let's just say that not everyone knows how to handle such situations. Good luck.

[prolesunited]

13. I agree

Call a hotline or your doctor or a family member. Although we all care about you, there's only so much we can do. Please get the professional help you need now.

[tom_paine]

9. Take a deep breath, pal. Then do something that makes you feel happy

(you'd be surprised at how closely body and mind are linked in that way)

Do you live near a park? Evewn better, a moutntain range? Get those boots on and do some hiking! Go see some friends, go see a movie, but DO SOMETHING that gets you out of the house and your black thoughts.

Nothing is as bad as we think, particularly in our personal lives.

Try this, maybe: In 20 years, do you think you'll care about the same stuff that's brining you down today? Of course not. Try to remember that today's tribulations are tomorrow's forgotten memories.

I'm not sure whta else to tell you, except that getting out and doing something will both take your mind off your troubles and make you feel physically and mentally better.

I know, I know...easier said than done. Give it a try anyway...

[nini]

10. Can you get out and go for a walk?

or something like that?

My Mom used to do crossword puzzles to keep her mind on something else other than what she was worrying about at the time. Something like that?

hang in there and hopefully it will pass quickly.

:hug:

[caledesi]

12. I can identify with depression. It's so scary, especially if you are

having panic attacks etc. I find the best thing to do is "sleep it out." Seriously, if you have the time, just sleep for awhile and it will pass.

[NC_Nurse]

14. That was then, this is now

And everyone here supports you. Focus on the good things in your life now. Like for one thing, you're not on that med anymore...
If you're having trouble climbing out, call someone or find someone to hang out with and talk to if you can...or just keep talking here.:grouphug:
and if you've got a therapist, call them.

[TheMightyFavog]

15. Mental illness is really a bitch...

I hate this ADHD.. I hate this OCD... I hate these fucking flashbacks... I wish I could be fucking normal. Just for one fucking day......

[DuctapeFatwa]

18. Everybody has mental illness to one degree or another

some people just have peskier flareups.

Keep posting on here and call your doctor on your cell.

[amazona]

16. oh I'm sorry

That's really ****ty. I hope you are feeling better soon. Hugs to you. If you can't hunt any longer with firearms, maybe you might consider "hunting" with a camera or even birdwatching. Some of the tracking skills are the same, and it gets you back outdoors. We outdoor people do get sad if we don't get our fix of tramping through the mud and being around wild critters! I think sometimes it takes more than 4 years for flashbacks to fade, so don't lose faith that you will be better one day.

[donco6]

20. I've been there.

Did they give you any advice from prior episodes? Are you following any of it now?

They always told me, "try to break out of whatever pattern your in - call someone - allow others in."

Hang in there! Thinking about you from far away.

[LibertyorDeath]

22. Hi Jonathan try as hard as you can to focus on anything

in your life that makes you the least bit happy from your past or present don't let the darkness wash over you fight it. It's transitory know in your heart that people care.

Also get a second opinion on the meds you're taking or a third or fourth unfortunately to many doctors want to mask the symptoms with any pill that seems to work. Getting the right meds at the right dosage is not easy.

[NC_Nurse]

23. if humor help you

check out the "pizza of Christ" thread...

[DuctapeFatwa]

25. engrish.com or blackpeopleloveus.com or disturbingauctions.com

laughing is good. Science says so. Keep posting here.

[TheMightyFavog]

27. Pizza of Christ?

Is that anything like Fr. Guido's old "Find the Pope in the Pizza" bit?

[NC_Nurse]

29. I don't know that one

but the picture on the thread is great and the replies are LOL!
On the lounge as we speak...

[madmax]

28. Stay here with us Jonathan

Many of us can empathize with you. You're not alone.

[NC_Nurse]

31. True enough

there's also the "are you feeling victimized today?" thread with other bummed out people like yours truly..
You are definitely not alone!

[madmax]

34. It's time

For a :grouphug:

[Sperk]

35. Hi Johnthan, I've never suffered from clinical depression but

know people who have, it's just terrible. All I can say is give yourself some advice. You know, like it's your best friend, not you who is going through this. I know that may sound lame. And perhaps with a clinical depression (unlike the milder depression some of us go through, time to time) it may not be helpful, but that's what I do. Problems always seem easier to put in perspective when they're someone elses.

As far as being normal goes....no one is normal. I really mean that. Everyone has some cross to bear. I don't mean that to belittle your problem, just to say that, that's one thing you don't have to think about, "being normal". Ain't gonna happen, doesn't exist.

One good thing about all the shit going down the last few years...
it's that it brought us all here to DU. The challenges that face us now give us the opportunity ( and the necessity) to find the best in ourselves, to become more involved, better citizens and seekers of truth and justice). In a sick and demented way, * has helped us all become better people. Weird, isn't it?

Anyway, I hope it passes for you soon. I'll send some good karma your way.

:-)

[bif]

36. Humor? Check this one out

http://www.ironictimes.com
Always good for several chuckles. A bit like what National Lampoon was in their hayday.

[NC_Nurse]

38. wow!

this is great! I added it to my favs...thanks.:yourock:

[bif]

44. It's updated every Monday

I try to check it out for a few quick laughs. Check out my George Bush photocartoon site:
http://george2.keenspace.com
I update it every day.

[Moderator]

39. Hi JonathanChance

While Duers are a truely amazingly caring people
they are not qualified to help .

DU moderators and Administrators urge you to call this helpline

1-800-784-2433
Toll-Free Nationwide USA
24 hours / 7 days a week

[TheMightyFavog]

41. Thanks, Mod.

I'm feeling a little bit better right now. The flashback seems to be going away. This thread has helped quite a bit.

[geniph]

40. Jonathan, I've been a severely suicidal depressive all my life

and I'm here to tell you, it can be "unlearned," with time, practice, and patience. If there's any way at all for you to visit a cognitive therapist, I highly recommend it. The idea of cognitive therapy is to teach you to think, and react, in less-destructive ways. It really does work.

One thing that used to work for me when I started to fall into a suicidal ideation was to actually visualize my mind rejecting the thought, as if my mind had a suicide-forcefield. That sounds simplistic, but with practice, rather than responding with, "Oh, I got a flat tire - I'll kill myself" I learned to reject that thought as soon as it formed.

I have almost no suicidal ideation these days, due to a combination of circumstances, unlearning depressive and suicidal reactions, and perhaps just sheer luck. It took medication to get out of it, but I've slowly - VERY slowly - weaned myself off nearly everything.

Jonathan, it passes. Concentrate on the next 60 seconds. Concentrate on breathing, on being. Insofar as is possible, distract your mind with something that requires you to focus on it, whether it's meditation, music, something. Reject the thoughts of death the instant they occur. This will take practice, but it does work. And don't be afraid to call a crisis line. Talking to someone who is not themselves involved or distressed can be immensely helpful (it needs to be someone who will not overreact and freak out and make your problem worse, which is why I suggest a crisis line).

It will pass. Hold on. I understand, and I care. Be safe.

[bhunt70]

42. there are some great people here <nt>

[TheMightyFavog]

45. Hell yeah...

If I were on FreeRupugnat, I'd either would have been preached at or told to get on and get it over with.

[TheMightyFavog]

46. Shit.....

It's starting again.

[geniph]

47. Breathe.

Just concentrate on being and breathing for the next 60 seconds. Then the 60 seconds after that.

It will pass, Jonathan. It will. Hold on. Try to find something, anything, to distract yourself.