What is the naughtest thing you ever done?

[Lady Freedom]

Come on! It's late night! Lets talk!

[Lady Freedom]

1. BTW short bus...

would you look in your mail box if you haven't already? :evilgrin:

[Zech Marquis]

2. Asscroft will be banging on my door int he morning

When I lived in japan, a Japanese woman asked me to have sex with her..and I did. I was 17, she was 30..and married :wow: shhh, don't tell lol too late :evilgrin:
Man am I evil!

[Lady Freedom]

3. I think I need to go knock on your door too!

hehe!:) :) :)

[priller]

5. Hmm, similar thing

She was married, I was not. She was my aerobics instructor at the gym. Still is, in fact. Blame it on the booze...

[short bus president]

7. no shit?

I thought I was one of the few, the proud! She was someone it's still not entirely safe to identify where certain people might read this, but she was 34 and I was 17. Blame it on being a horny goddamned teenager.

[caledesi]

13. That's pretty juicy Zech.

[Catshrink]

4. Well, when we were 8 or 9

years old, my cousin and I were stopped into Penney's to use the bathroom. We asked the sales lady in the kitchen department where it was and she was so nasty to us. Well, when we were through, we sneaked back and set all the kitchen timers to go off in about 5 minutes, then hid.

(It had the desired effect.)

[fortyfeetunder]

6. since I am on vacation and the spouse can't see this

in my wild and single days I had two guys in less than a month, and neither one knew about the other. Had just finished my senior finals and #1 and I spent the weekend partying, we partied so hard one night the following night we fell asleep at a funk concert!

A week later, after graduation, met #2 and yeah we partied (hee hee). A week later hooked up with #1 and mmmmmmmmmmmm, it was nice before I moved on....and I still kept in contact with both of them for years until I met #3 (my spouse).

The strangest part of it all was #1 and I were friends for years after we were both married untila few years back he brought up the romantic part of our friendship. I dumped the chump.

[aquaman]

8. Flew my car in the mayors yard

when I was 16, yes I got arrested. Oh, those were the days.

[wtmusic]

9. LF is at it again

cmon, tell us one of yours, ya big chicken!

[Lady Freedom]

19. ?????

Why would you want to hear about boaring old me??

[ornotna]

10. Well, one time

my wife invited her best friend( who was having boyfriend problems at the time) over to the house. One thing led to another. OMG, what a flesh fest, it was anything goes. Once in a life time experience. :)

[Dr_Greenthumb]

62. damn right it does

mmm hmmm

:evilgrin:

[caledesi]

11. Well, I was 23 and my boyfriend and I were on this "wilderness trail"

and well, what can I say? 23, and both aching to "do the deed." So we started going to it in the woods which was wonderful <still remember those feelings> and much to our surprise a Boy Scout Troop starts wandering around. We almost died! Grabbed our clothes and started dressing real quick. I am sure that some of those innocent boy scouts got a good look. Boy Scout Interruptus....LOL!

That's about how rowdy I have ever been. <slap me>

[short bus president]

12. and can I just say right now...

Gawd I love the Lounge after midnight!

Better watch out or Ashstock'll be after Skinner...

[GAspnes]

14. ummmmmmmmmm. depends on what the meaning of 'naughty' is

some vicious practical jokes in high school. (details available upon request)

sex in some very odd places.

buried easter eggs in code that's *still* running.

[geniph]

15. Project Censored!

um...

it involves four guys, two of whom were bisexual, two of whom were gay, and me.

um...

I think I'd better leave the details to your very fertile imaginations.

[Lady Freedom]

17. PM me!

I want detail! Please? This sounds to good not to know!

[geniph]

49. You know, I don't know that I remember details

there were just lots of bodies rolling around, and lots of laughter. We had fun. See, the deal is that of the two gay guys, one had actually been married for awhile (his church guilt-tripped him into it, and nearly made him crazy before he admitted he was really gay), and one of the two bisexuals was basically gay, but bi-curious - in other words, he was curious about having an experience with a female. So one of the gay guys HAD experience with females, but one of the bisexual guys hadn't...so...what the hell is my point, anyway? I guess just that everybody played with everybody, and everybody had fun. Which is the way things ought to work all the time, if you ask me.

[tedoll78]

20. Ohh..

A fourgy!

[TrogL]

31. wait a minute

this doesn't add up - unless you're trying to tell us something

[geniph]

42. ever see a pile of puppies?

:evilgrin:

a good time was had by all...

[Lady Freedom]

44. YEEEEEHAAAAAAA!

:evilgrin: I hate you!(hehehehe!)
Not fair! I want some action! waaaa!

[DemoTex]

16. Olongopo City, PI

Naughty, naughty, naughty!

[Zech Marquis]

22. that's why my family turned DOWN going to the PI

me, a young 16 year old Zech in the PI in the late 1980s? Shit! LOl :evilgrin:

[Johnyawl]

23. Olongopo! I know all about Olongopo!

However, the naughtiest thing I did while I was in the service happened in Kin Village, Okinawa.

I've gotten naughtier as I've got older. I'm just a dirty old man, now.

[DemoTex]

29. Subic Dream: 1st bar over the bridge = "Mexico Bar."

Girl on front porch says "Hey, Mac."

I say, "She knows my name! I'm in love!"

An Ologopo night ensues (12 hours!)

Mac

[Johnyawl]

38. Oh god!

"She knows my name! I'm in love!"


I laughed out loud at that Mac!


I've used the old stand-by joke for 35 years now: "When I was on Okinawa, I was bi-sexual. All the sex I got, I had to buy!"

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

45. I used to say I was Tri-sexual... I would try anything once.

Once I was young and dumb and full of cum
Now I am old, wise, and like to fantasize.

[geniph]

50. Mac, that may well be the most

priceless line in all of history! :D

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

26. I second that... with a side order of Singapore

[tedoll78]

18. Well..

Before cancer, I was nicely leanly built. Rent was due, and my partner and I didn't have enough to pay it. So we went up to the large city about an hour from our rural university to the big gay bar's amateur strip night.

In the parking lot, I downed about half of a fifth of amaretto. I didn't think I had the guts to do it. But I did. The DJ asked me what song I wanted to strip to, and I told him to surprise me. Mistake.

The song "You Gotta Lick It (Before You Stick It)" began to play, and I appeared behind a curtain and proceeded to dance. I may be gay, but I dance like a straight white guy. Sad. Still, at the end of the song, I had $15 sticking-out of my g-string.

My partner danced also. We took first and second place. About $800 dollars + tips (enough for two month's rent and bills). We got dressed ASAP, ran to the DJ booth for our winnings (through a gauntlet of horny guys), and got the hell out of there. I don't think I ever went back to that club again, lol.

That's my naughty contribution. :evilgrin:

[TrogL]

32. What a rip

I did something similar and only got $25.00

'course it did pay the bar tab for the night.

[caledesi]

40. OMG! That is the BEST story yet!

I am still laughing abouy you dancing to "You Gotta Lick it...." Too funny! Only $15? What a rip.

[tedoll78]

43. Well..

It's a three-minute song. Five tips per minute.. one tip per twelve seconds.. not too bad, along with the other money.

I barely remember that night, lol..

[Zech Marquis]

21. not quite as juicy like the first one, BUT

I lived at Yokota AB in Fussa, right outside Tachikawa (far west side of Tokyo itself) Whe I ha dmy first summer job at the air terminal, there was an older (like 31, I was only 16) japanese woman, and the whole damn base KNEW she realy liked me. My dad even knew, and apparently the AF told her do NOT do anything with Zech or else! The whole damn base KNEW she had the hots for me, really!

BTW, she wasn't the one I did it with :evilgrin:

[TrogL]

24. Drove a car into a park to get lucky

and then it got stuck up to its axles.

Parents had to have it towed out the next day.

They pretended to be upset but later they were killing themselves laughing.

[Forkboy]

25. Like I'm going to admit that on a public message board!

HA!

I say again....HA!

:)

[Lady Freedom]

36. What if...

I got on my knees in front of you and... :evilgrin:

[Forkboy]

37. lol

I wouldn't stop you....but you still wouldn't get the story out of me :)

[Lady Freedom]

39. get my hopes up!

Oh well, guess I'll have to settle with giving you a blowjob!

[Forkboy]

46. I hate when that happens!

:D

[Lady Freedom]

48. What ?

A womwn giving you a BJ?

[Amaya]

27. WELL,

had sex in my boyfriend's parents car! ;)

[Zech Marquis]

28. ok one more

i went to Onsan for a 1 week youth leadershipc council meeting, with other military dependents from all over the Pacific (japan, Korea, Okinawa) We went shopping i Onsan one day, and a "lady of the night" approached me in broad daylight. I couldn't do anything stupid, but she did give me a little peek..under her log sleeve shirt, not a piece of cloting on her, and a wink bfor she walked away.

I've had japanese girls flirt with me, just vecause a)I was having lunch by myself 2)in a japanese department store by myself c)waiting to get my ticket into Tokyo Dinseyland, minding my own business. Hell, 3 asked me out in fron to f my entire senior class at Tokyo Dinseyland! :evilgrin;
One extra treat--ok, 2--one of my former clasmates in Osaka said,"when you get over here I want to see you.." and another married Japanese woman--I must be magnet for them or something--basically gave me the go ahead to hook up :evilgrin:

it must be my evil Dark Force or somthing :evilgrin:

[fabius]

30. Well the coolest thing...

...if not that naughty by today's standards was getting a BJ while talking on the phone to old friends for about a half hour. Couldn't stop laughing, they thought I was totally stoned.

By Bill's definition, it wasn't sex anyway.

[fabius]

33. Nationalizing the oil companies...

...passed a resolution at Young Democrats regional convention to nationalize the oil companies. Back in the Reagan years. Hahahahahahahaha. The DLC types sh*t a brick, they had to take that radical platform to the national and get embarrassed. Serve 'em right.

Not a YD anymore, more like an OD. Still it was fun. Wandered around Vegas stoned, sort of like a Hunter Thompson thing.

If Asscroft is watching I'm just kidding.

[Lady Freedom]

34. you sound...

Like fun!

[fabius]

41. Thanks, Lady, so do you!

Yellow dog myself.

[koopie57]

35. hummm...

naughtiest and most fun was when I worked for city government. The city administrator was a 60-year-old stuff shirt and whenever he walked through the building people were saying...good morning elmer, how are you elmer, let me get that for you elmer, they would hold the door for him and all this bullshit. One day I was walking ahead of him, opened the door and let it shut on him. I was surprised to hear the gasps behind me, but I thought he could hold the door for himself, he wasn't a cripple. A few days later he was ahead of me, walked through a door, and then stopped, held the door open and said to me.....good afternoon Koopie, how are you today..... and once again people gasped ... but it was pretty cool cuz I knew he knew it was all bullshit too and we laughed at each other. But you probably want to know the sexy naughtiest thing......*blush*.....well, maybe after a few more drinks I'll share.....*wink*

[Aristus]

68. Here you go, koopie.

:beer: :beer: :beer: :beer:

[Cheswick2.0]

47. I seem to remember

something about hiding behind a large statue in a cemetary, while a funeral was going on.

[SoCalDem]

51. My girlfriend and I took the wooden signs from the roads in a cemetery

..They were in the trunk of her mother's car, and the next day her mother had a flat tire, and asked Debbie why there were pieces of wood in the trunk :evilgrin:

We were gonna take them back, but the next day in the paper there was an article about VANDALS IN THE CEMETERY (thtwudbeus).. We were 16 and tipsy..we didn't hurt anything, we just thought it would be funny to take the little wooden signs.. We had planned to randomly replace them the next night :(

in the end, we put them all in a trash can from kmart and left them beside the road outside the cemetery about a week later :(

[Aristus]

52. I had an affair with a married woman.

I'm not proud of it. I wasn't married at the time. I feel guilt about it to this day, partly because my memories of the affair are pleasant. She showed me a lot of things I'd only dreamed about up to that time. Positions, food, locations, you name it.

I'm sure that sounds pretty tame to the rest of y'all.

[Lady Freedom]

53. Here on the board...

I put a four star list on breezygirls post about being board!

Edit: I am sooooo naughty its hard to come up with the naughties!

[Lady Freedom]

54. For those who can not find it!

LF's 4 star boardom cures!

Forkboy ****
pfitz59 ****
GOPisEvil ****
ForrestGump ****
Short bus president ****
WannaJumpMyScooter ****1/2
Itascapark ****1/2

I know two 5 stars but I'm not Shareing! :evilgrin:

[SpiralHawk]

55. Not my naughtiest, but...

One Sunday night, after a weekend-long beer party with just one record (James Brown's Greatest Hits), I went with some buddies and built a huge empty beer-can pyramid in front of the door of the local police station in North Conway, NH. it was a small town in those days -- what a hoot.

Later we replaced the tape recording in the church steeple downtown, so that at 6 pm instead of playing chimes, it played Sergeant Pepper's lonely hearts club band.

As for lovin the ladies, that does not compute for me as naughty, but rather nice.

[Lady Freedom]

56. Hahahahahahahahah!

I LOVE IT!

[ForrestGump]

57. I had a fight in the middle of the Black Panther Party

That's my Jenny.....

[Aristus]

58. That idjit you punched out sure didn't make the rest

of us progressives look good, you know. Thanks for decking him.

[ForrestGump]

80. He was a bad man!

I'm glad I punched him. And I'd do it again!

[Iris]

59. it's not just a one time thing

but, I used to steal stuff whenever I got drunk!

[Aristus]

60. Wow. Nobody turned a whisker at my confession. I guess my life

has been relatively tame, comparatively speaking.

Okay, here goes: I had sex with a girl in a tanning bed. In a tanning parlor where the cubicle walls don't go all the way to the ceiling, so we had to be very quiet.

She wore a bikini top and nothing else.

Then we went outside and made love under a bridge in the frigid winter night. Fully clothed this time or we would have frozen to death. Not naughty? How about juicy?

[Lady Freedom]

65. A tanning bed?

My you are naughty! Would this be with the married lady?

[Aristus]

66. Yeah, it was her.

She was amazingly uninhibited. She loosened me up a bit. I was kind of button-down until then. A horn-dog, but button-down. Does that make sense?

[NightTrain]

61. At 19, I went to an X-rated movie...

...and sneaked in a small jar of mayonnaise and a spoon. I sat in the back row (right next to the exit so I could make a quick getaway) and just waited for the first cum shot!

I can still see that guy about a dozen rows up from me jumping to his feet, slapping at the back of his head, and yelling, "Aw man, what the fuck?!" :evilgrin:

[Aristus]

63. That's hilarious, NightTrain!

LOL!

[sasquatch]

64. That's too good

Ahh man that is awesome:evilgrin:

[Sick of Bullshit]

84. So that was YOU???

:spank:

[BiggJawn]

85. No, 'twas me..and that wasn't Hellmans...

I sprained myself. Couldn't function for a MONTH after that....

[Capn Sunshine]

67. Does SEx in a catholic church pew count?

I'm not even catholic :evilgrin:
It was the back pew, so I don't think baby jesus saw us
:nuke:

[Lady Freedom]

69. Hello!!!!!!!

:wow: :spank:

[rasputin1952]

78. For the l;ove of Mike...

they'll have nun of that here!

[opiate69]

70. hehehe...

I was filling in for the night supervisor a few years back... the project that we were working on was only going to last a couple weeks, so, we just staffed the crew with 3 temp workers from a local agency. One of my temps was a pretty cute, tatooed ex-stripper. Well, to make a long story short, she was relentlessly hitting on me all night. Finally, about midnight I had to bring some product out to the back warehouse. Her job was to label the product as it came out, so she followed me out back...next thing I knew, she was giving me one of the most inredible BJs I've ever had, as I sat on my forklift.Lol...as Adam Carolla would say, good times, indeed...

[Aristus]

71. Whew!

*...(wipes sweat off of forehead......)...

[Sal316]

72. Ok.. I'll join in late.

Just divorced and graduating with my degree in Criminal Justice. This really cute woman asked me if I was going to the bar afterwards to celebrate. I said, sure. Having a great time, drinking a ton, her friend tells me she thinks I'm cute. I go over, tell her she's cute, too and she plants one on me. We spend the next couple hours talking and the bar closes. Everyone goes back to her place afterwards and she drives me, so my car is left at the bar. More drinking and about 3 everyone leaves. We start kissing on the couch, clothes start coming off when all of a sudden I hear the bathroom door open. Her friend comes out and says "Mind if I join you two?" She looks at me and I say, "ok".

Long story short, I slept with them both... numerous times... starting with her friend after the one I went home with said "I want to watch you f*** her." Nothing was taboo that night..

ahh.. my moment in the sun....

:evilgrin:

[roguevalley]

73. It was accidental. <G>

I banged the rethug governor of Alaska in the head going
through a door at the same time he was coming out. <G>

[Aristus]

74. Kick for the evening crowd.

It should get even better as we get toward bedtime.

[Lady Freedom]

75. CAN WE PLEASE STOP POSTING ON THIS SO IT WILL GO AWAY!

:( :( :( :(

[Aristus]

76. It's your monster, Lady.

You created it.

[Lady Freedom]

79. That is why I have asked it to be locked!

[Scimmio]

83. before the thread's locked....My Friend's Mother...

well, to be completely accurate my friend's mother did me...girl that I had a thing with, living with Divorcée mom...empty house during Summer...and me a nervous 17yo with a 44yo woman coming into the room and locking the door...now, as far as I knew, I was smooth with the ladies...just not that smooth...

for a couple of weeks I thought I was the hottest thing since Dustin Hoffman...then one of my friends said he noticed the way she flirted with me and asked if we had "done it"...after I broke down and told him he informed me that she had been with him months before and he was almost certain that she had been with a third friend in the group...and I thought I was so special...still, a mom and daughter in the same house that Summer...never could work out the logistics for the three-some though...

[fishnfla]

77. finish what you started, human

[44wax]

81. started a thread titled, "have you ever lit your pee pee on fire?"

[Lady Freedom]

82. I HAVE ASKED THE MODS TO LOCK THIS SO PLEASE STOP POSTING!

[wellstone_democrat]

86. why? why lock it????

what the hell is that about?

Well, then, forget my story about the hood of a car in Arizona in the early 80s. Ah, good times!

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

87. That was you?

Oh, man...what a night... the stars, the hood, the peyote and you and me.
Oh yeah, and the dulcet tones of Iggy Pop and Root Boy Slim and the Sex Change Band on the 8 track.

[wellstone_democrat]

88. At last, the mystery man identifies himself

oh, and thanks for the details. All I remember is something about a car hood....:evilgrin:

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

89. well, all the bumping and grinding... it took a few, but

the body work was worth the great memories.