BY DAVE BARRY
ST. PAUL -- If you are a member of the news media, one of your most important constitutionally protected duties at a national political convention is to try to get into parties to which you have not been invited. I would estimate that this occupies 85 percent of my time at conventions. Usually I fail, but it's better than listening to speeches.
Plus, every now and then I get in. For example, at the 2000 Democratic convention in Los Angeles, I was able to get into a very exclusive party by posing as a member of the security detail for Dick Riordan, who was then the L.A. mayor ...
Anyway, this time around I was hoping to get into the Republican National Convention kickoff party, because I wanted to see the headline band: The Sex Pistols ...
I approached some Alaska delegates and asked them -- in this business, you sometimes have to ask the tough questions -- if people in Alaska really eat moose stew. They said they absolutely did, and not only that, but Alaskans actually sign up for a chance to get a road-kill moose. Really. If a state trooper finds a dead moose on the highway, and your name is next on the road-kill-moose list, they call you up, and you can go pick up your moose and take it home and use the head to play a spectacular prank on your house guests. At least that's what I would do. But in Alaska they actually eat it ...
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics/campaign-2008/story/668806.html