Please Lounge Lizards, I need some love.

[intheflow]

My 8 year relationship is over. Believe it or not, it was a casualty of Hurricane Katrina, my work down there led to my fella's PTSD from the first Gulf War to kick in. We've been trying to hold it together even though we live across the country from each other now, but he just called me and told me it's over for real, he's just too fucked up to continue being in a relationship. I'm having a very hard time giving up the dream of us having a life together, 'cause when it was good it was SO fucking good. And I'm scared that at my age love will never find me again.

So I'm sitting here having a pity party for myself and invite you all to take pity on me, too, I guess. So please give me some love, Lizards--I really need it today.

[LiberalEsto]

1. Multiple hugs

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[intheflow]

5. Thanks, LE.

I love to get that UU love. :hug:

[lost-in-nj]

2. aw....

:hug: :hug:

I know what your feeling......

and love will find you again.....

when your not looking

lost

[intheflow]

7. I know.

I always feel this way at the end of relationships, and love always finds me again. But this one lasted four years longer than any other relationship I've been in before, so I was really hopeful it would sustain. Thanks for the support. :hug:

[bertha katzenengel]

3. dear one

:hug: I am sorry.

[intheflow]

8. Thanks, Bertha.

I appreciate the hug. :hug:

[auntAgonist]

4. be kind to yourself

:hug: :hug: :hug:

I'm really sorry :(


aA

[intheflow]

9. Oh yes, I'll be kind to myself.

Again someday, I'm sure. Right now, I'm just not sure what to do to be kind to myself. Even chocolate seems grossly inadequate to the occasion. But thanks so much for the hugs. :hug:

[Redstone]

6. No pity from me, no way. But empathy and support? As much of those as you need.

Redstone

[intheflow]

11. Solid.

Empathy and support are much more welcome than pity. Thanks, Redstone. :hug:

[Guava Jelly]

10. I'm sorry

:hug: I wont pity you.
I am sorry for your heartache. I wish I knew a way to fast forward you through all 5 stages of grief or even to fix your fella's PTSD.
All I can say is Time helps.
Talk to people who care about you.
Never assume that you will never find another lover or even that your relationship is over forever.
Take it one day at a time.
You will be ok..Maybe not today, maybe not next week.
But you will be OK
((Big Hugs))

[intheflow]

13. Thanks.

I should be in the last stage of grief, hell I should be dancing for joy that it's over after the last three years we've tried to keep it together since Katrina. But you know... dreams die hard. Your kind words have helped, though. :hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

12. My dear intheflow...

You are never going to be too old to find love...

NEVER.

It is always so damn tough when our dreams die; I know...I've been there...

Keep the faith!

You will be happy again!

And you will love again!

:hug:

[Redstone]

15. Peg, you say "never too old?" You could not be more correct.

There's no "too old" for pretty much ANYTHING.

(Except possibly in my own case, because I squandered so much of life's currency as a young man; but for most people, your advice is dead-on.)

Redstone

[intheflow]

16. Dearest Peggy,

Thanks for the love. It's honestly been so long since I've been really happy, since Katrina hit, it really feels like it's not coming back. I'm also freaked out that this is happening as Gustav is about to make landfall. I think that's messing with my mind as much as anything.

I appreciate your prediction that I'll find love and happiness again, though. :hug:

[SPKrazy]

14. Sorry Intheflow

Sounds painful

and familiar in some ways

:hug:

[intheflow]

18. Thanks, Southpawkicker.

Here's some love back atcha for your familiar pain. :hug:

[NJmaverick]

17. I am sorry, I wish the both of you the best of luck

I hope things work out

:hug:

[intheflow]

20. Been trying to wrk things out for 3 years.

I'm pretty sure this is the final death knoll. :( But your hug gives me strength to endure tonight. Thanks, nomad. :hug:

[Haole Girl]

19. Hugs for you

Hold on!

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[intheflow]

23. I love to hold on to hugs!

Thanks, Sweetie. :hug:

[I Have A Dream]

21. I'm so sorry that you're hurting so much, intheflow.

:(

:hug::hug:

[intheflow]

27. Thanks, IHAD.

Your name and sigline remind me that others have been through much worse and survived with hope through the hopeless times. Thanks for being a bell of mindfulness for me today. :hug:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

22. Aww intheflow

Sympathy and love darlin, in big ole heaps :hug: :loveya: :pals:

[intheflow]

29. Thank you, Salmon.

I feel that love and sympathy! :hugs:

[Danger Mouse]

24. For what it's worth...

I feel your pain.
:hug:

[intheflow]

30. Thanks, EH.

I'm sorry you feel my pain. No one should have to feel this pain! :hug:

[Taverner]

25. Hugz your way

Don't be afraid to down that quart of B&J

[intheflow]

31. I'm on a med where I can't drink.

But then, the doctor didn't say anything about . So your instinct is right on the money. :hug:

[Taverner]

36. Oh I was suggesting Ben and Jerrys, but 420 works VERY nicely too!

And the combination of the two - man - you're talking com-fort-zone!

[intheflow]

38. ..

Don't be silly! Ben and Jerry's was the FIRST thing I went out and bought! :hug:

[Adsos Letter]

26. One of my favorite flower shots for you...

...and a virtual hug :hug:

[intheflow]

33. Virtual hugs and flowers!

Thank you! What is that flower, anyway?

I also want to give you snaps for the Bible quote. Actually made me lol--something I haven't done since getting that phone call. So double hugs to you! :hug: :hug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

28. I feel ya.

I am ready to admit defeat in the game of love as well. :hug:

[intheflow]

34. Thanks, T A.

And I'm so sorry to hear about your love life. :hug:

[lukasahero]

32. I'm sorry

You will find what you're looking for as long as you keep looking. :hug:

I'm sorry it didn't work for you and your guy - maybe someday it will, maybe you'll find someone new. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to heal. :hug: again.

[intheflow]

37. Thanks, lukasahero.

I don't think I could give up on searching for love even if I wanted to. As is possibly evident, I have a history of being a hopeless romantic. It's a curse and a blessing, but at least I got that going for me. :hug:

[UndertheOcean]

35. :(

I have a feeling that love is abundant in the world , only because loneliness is abundant too .Look for it and you will find it. And past love is not lost love , it stays with you forever, so even in its loss it holds uncountable riches.

But I feel your sorrow , I really do. :(

[intheflow]

40. That's a very Taoist way to look at it.

My sig line approves. :hug:

[Stump]

39. I know the feeling...

Just remember, even thought it seems like things will NEVER get better...They will. You have to believe that, it will get better...I went through this shit not too long ago and it was brutal, I'm not gonna sugar-coat it...fucking brutal. But with good friends and most importantly, a little time, it will get better. Here's a big hug and I'm thinking' of you, I promise. Keep you're head up the best you can and take it day by day. One day, you'll be doing something and suddenly you realize, "shit, I haven't thought about this person for like and hour!" And it'll get better from there. You'll have good days and bad days...but just know good days are ahead.

[intheflow]

41. Thanks, Stump.

Friends are slim where I live. Most of my friends live on the east coast. My one really good friend here in Denver is dying of cancer, may only have weeks to live. I have a great new roommate, but she's 20 years my junior and still reeling from her own first brutal break-up, so I don't anticipate she'll be much of a rock to help steady me. But I do have my darling dog, he's been the one consistency in my life these last two years, really my best friend. So I guess I'll keep doing what I've been doing since it started becoming clear my relationship was in ruins: walk 2-3 hours a day with Bear. And eventually all that walking will get me in a new head space. I know that's the truth, I will eventually get in a new head space. It's just the space in my head right now is pretty foggy so the prospects look dim. But I do know that fog blows away and the sun shines again... eventually.

Thanks again for the kind encouragement, though I'm sorry you had to personally live a similar hell to be in a position to offer it. :hug:

[darkstar]

43. Here's a little something for your and Bear...

Take care. :hug:

[intheflow]

44. Thanks, darkstar.

The flowers are gorgeous and Bear nearly pee'd himself at the prospect of that bone. :hug:

[Stump]

47. Dog walks are good...

I got my pup in good shape taking long walks to clear my head...and on bad days I still do. It's good for the soul.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

42. There's no age limit on finding love...

:hug::hug::hug:

I'm sorry things didn't work out for you. And I'm sure you'll meet someone as special as you are.

:hug::hug::hug:

[nadine_mn]

45. Oh I am sooo sorry

I agree with others that there is no age limit on love...

please take care of yourself..

:hug:

[bluesbassman]

46. Got a little song for you. Denver to SF is only 1267 miles, a case of Redbull easy.

I got to have a shot
Of what you got it's oh so sweet
You got to make it hot
Like a boomerang I need a repeat

Gimme all your lovin'
all you hugs and kisses too
Gimme all your lovin'
don't let up until we're through

You got to whip it up
And hit me like a ton of lead
If I blow my top
Will you let it go to your head

Gimme all your lovin'
all your hugs and kisses too
Gimme all your lovin'
don't let up until we're through

You got to move it up
And use it like a screwball would
You got to pack it up
Work it like a new boy would

Gimme all your lovin'
all your hugs and kisses too
Gimme all your lovin'
don't let up until we're through

[intheflow]

50. Mmm, mmm, mmm.

A little rebound lovin'? No money for either Red Bull or gas to SF, but I like the way you think bluesbassman. :hug:

[intheflow]

51. Mmm, mmm, mmm.

A little rebound lovin'? No money for either Red Bull or gas to SF, but I like the way you think bluesbassman. :hug:

[Pushed To The Left]

48. I'm sorry to hear you're going through this

:hug:

[jus_the_facts]

49. Love will find a way...never lose hope....

...you seem like a strong woman from all I've read since August 2005...keep on keepin' on...all the best to you and yours. :hug:

[tigereye]

52. hugs for you, my friend

:hug:

[intheflow]

54. Thanks, sweetie.

:hug:

[lightningandsnow]

53. Sending some love!

That really, really sucks. Sorry to hear it.

:hug:

[merh]

55. .

:hug:

[Maestro]

56. I'm sorry to hear this.

This is very hard. Time will heal though. :hug:

[uppityperson]

57. Hugs to you intheflow, that just sucks (pardon my language)

Hugs to you and I am really sorry for you guys.

[applegrove]

58. So sorry for your loss.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

59. hugs and kisses

[blueraven95]

60. oh, I'm so sorry!

:hug:

I'm sending you lots of good thoughts!

[EFerrari]

61. I just saw this.

((((((((((((((((((intheflow))))))))))))))))))))))

When I was trying to explain my activism near the end of the relationship, my now ex said, "I didn't kill Andy." There is no response to that, no translation of my reaction that I could offer him and that was pretty much it. I miscalculated the stress or maybe, there was nothing I did wrong, exactly, just life happening.

I think I went through what you're going through now. It's been two years or so, and it got really bad before it started crawling to better.

But what seems true is, it isn't that love or friendship won't find me but, I needed a time to withdraw and sort out and re-imagine. We were so very settled, or, so I thought anyway.

Take it easy. :hug: