I just realized something really stupid about my dating patterns

[Connonym]

I think I might be a grammar snob -- I continue to on and off date a guy who is an unreliable, slightly insane alcoholic but I meet a really nice guy and he sends me an email using the improper form of their (using there instead of their) and I'm thinking -- I don't know if I want to actually go on a date with a guy who doesn't know grammar. I'm thinking my priorities may be a little bit fucked up.

[Gormy Cuss]

1. It may have been a brain hiccup.

I know the difference between 'their' and 'there' and other homonyms but I sometimes type the wrong one. I never make the mistake when writing with a pen -- it's only associated with typing for me.

I say give the guy a chance.:hi:

[Lorien]

20. Yep, I do that all the time. I substitute words that sounds alike

-sometimes with very odd results. I think it's due to my dyslexia that's been getting worse over the years. I never did it in college.

[RetroLounge]

2. I would "loose" him right away...

:rofl:

RL

[TroglodyteScholar]

3. I, too, prefer pairing up with literate individuals.

Could be the reason I'm single!

[Speck Tater]

4. I only date perfect women.

Haven't been on a date in 15 years. Hmmm. Maybe there's a problem with my standards.

In reality, there is only "good enough". And how good is good enough is up to each person to decide.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

5. i know the difference but sometime because they sound the same i type up the wrong one

esp if i am tired or distracted or nervous

[Whoa_Nelly]

6. If it bugs you

walk away from it...leave it...let it (him) go.


If it bugs you now, just think how much it will bother you later ;)

[Chan790]

7. Want to know something silly...

I make that mistake almost daily and I'm a hyper-literate language snob. I also write "its" or "it's" when I mean "its'". It'd bother me if I got it in an email though because it tells me that the person didn't care enough to "proofreed".(sic./intentional typo)

[Connonym]

8. I'm thinking that I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt

Because I'm certainly sometimes have a braino and type the wrong version and then am extremely humiliated if I leave one uncorrected. What would bother me would be if he didn't know the difference but maybe he did and it was just a slip up. Not really fair to judge a guy based on that one thing.

ETA: Unless that 1 thing was being a Neocon or a Fundy. Those would be deal breakers even if he was otherwise nearly perfect.

[goodgd_yall]

9. I used to be much better about these things

but I find myself often now in my postmenopausal years find myself writing "here" when I mean "hear." Also, I slip up on "its" and "it's" too.

[supernova]

10. I find myself swapping word endings

:wtf:

I write the correct word, but the wrong ending or tense.

"happenING" when I really mean "happenED"

It's almost like my hands have a separate brain from my brain. :crazy:

[Connonym]

11. I've noticed a huge degree of word finding difficulty in the last couple years

I know the word but it's like on the tip of my brain (so to speak) but I really have to search for it. Forgetfulness in other areas of life too. This is way worse than my flesh going south and my eyes having wrinkles. I'm especially terrified because my great-grandmother and grandmother both became very, very senile and my mom is starting to show signs. I'm afraid that's my future and every time I have a bout of memory loss I worry that I'm just developing early Alzheimer's.

[goodgd_yall]

23. Same here

My mother has Alzheimer's---not so bad as to forget her daughters' names or go wandering from the house, but lots of short-term memory lapses. She has trouble finding words too. I, too, worry that my own lapses now might be a sign that I'll have Alzheimer's in the future.

[pookieblue]

14. don't feel bad...

I call pigeons, penguins and pigeons, penguins.

and that is just the tip of the iceberg. LOL




ah, the joys of MS. Not only am I blonde but ....

I have a joke..the only thing that the ms has done to me...is make me stupid... but no one noticed. they figured 'hey, she's blonde'. ;)

In any case, I am a constant source of amusement for my friends because they never know what will come out of my mouth.

[Kat45]

16. Pookieblue: Does your MS give you memory problems?

I also have MS, though fortunately it's been pretty benign, but I have been having a lot of memory problems, word search problems, etc. lately and I wonder if it's from MS or from menopause or from getting older or, God forbid, early Alzheimer's.

[skygazer]

12. Your priorities are fine

Unreliable, slightly insane alcoholics who use proper grammar are ALWAYS an improvement over someone who would screw up their and there. :P


Seriously, I find myself unreasonably disliking people who make grammar errors, too. It's a disease.

[Flying Dream Blues]

13. I had the same obstacle. I was (quietly) a big spelling and grammar snob, and started

getting to know this guy during a time when we had to communicate online quite a bit. His spelling was not atrocious, but he did misspell words that made my spelling snob meter go off. As I got to know him better, I realized that for all his spelling errors (dyslexia runs in his family though he's not diagnosed, and he is diagnosed with ADD) he was really a brilliant guy in many other ways.

We've now been together for 9 nine years, 6 of them happily married, and I'm so glad I overcame my silly snobbery. Now I'm not so quick to judge, but I do know where you're coming from.

:hi:

[Lorien]

21. Horrible spelling and handwriting usually goes hand in hand with ADD

my aunts and I all have adult onset limbic ADD and dyslexia. We were all once great spellers with excellent grammar skills and decent handwriting (they both have Ph.Ds in psychology), but that has changed drastically over the years. I'm glad that I didn't have any of the types of ADD that show up during childhood; school would have been a nightmare.

[DarkTirade]

15. I find I have that problem too.

The weird part was when I met someone who was capable of correcting MY grammar... that threw me for a loop. :)

[LeftyFingerPop]

17. My opinion...

My father...

Handsome guy, smart as hell, left school in the 4th grade to take care of his 15 brothers and sisters.

No one knew he was not educated, because whenever he wrote a proposal to tear down a building (that's what he did, among many other things), he would verify the spelling with me or my sisters.

Point being...intelligence is not in the spelling, it is in the mind.

[1]

18. hummm...

this is not a judgment. i don't know you. take it in the spirit it is offered, but based on your post...

you are unsure about dating a guy who messes up an email text of the words "there" and "their".

but you state you "continue to on and off date a guy who is an unreliable, slightly insane alcoholic."

hummm...


is the alcoholic cuter? does he have a bigger dick? makes more money? treats you better?

what is his allure this alcoholic over the "spelling mistake" guy?

[Connonym]

22. couple things

I've know the alcoholic for about a year -- cuter, no; bigger dick, don't know; more money, no clue; treat me better, yet to be determined. I haven't actually gone on a date yet with the misspelling guy. It's not a contest between these two guys; I only meant to indicate that I put up with a lot of shit from my last boyfriend but with someone new I'm all obsessive about spelling. This isn't the first man I've questioned getting involved with because of poor English skills. Alcoholic man made it through that cut (he's actually scary smart, what a waste) and the other stuff wasn't evident right away. Now here I am looking back thinking that my requirement that someone be a good speller isn't really an indicator of relationship compatibility and here I am doing it again. I'm letting a pet peeve filter out a lot of men who are probably just as smart and certainly better for me. I'm chiding/laughing at myself because I realize how stupid it is on my part.

[MilesColtrane]

19. That's why I've got the two volume OED and the Chicago Manual of Style prominently displayed...

...on my bookshelf.

They act as Wild Turkey counterweights.

The ladies see them and think, "Hmmm...he's a drunken bum, but he's a literate drunken bum with the heart of an artist".