My brother and sister in law have not paid into social security and they

[Maraya1969]

are in their 50's. I supposed they have put some money away but also my mother has quite a bit. She is not a multi-millionaire though so don't get me wrong.

My mother has given me money every month so I don't have to live on the streets like some other disabled people. I have felt guilty at times about this but I can't help what happened to me and I've been through therapy and such.

But now I am thinking that when my mother dies my brother is going to want his share. And I don't think that is fair because his government would give him his share if he were not such a pompous ass. He is a rabid republican and a minister as is my sister in law.

I feel like writing to him and telling him that if he won't take what the government gives him he shouldn't take what my mother gives him. I've taken what the government gives me and trust me it ain't much but the medical care is really good. I've also worked at times over the years to try and do what I can. I want to work part time again but have to wait until my jackass doctor gives me the pain meds I need to move around 8 hours a day.

Any thoughts on this. My brother and I have fought a lot over the years so that is not much of a problem.

EDIT; My mother just told me she fears that I might not have enough money to live on for the rest of my life. I should have married a wealthy man when I was young and pretty.

[Connonym]

1. your brother will want a share of your mother's estate inheritence or your mother's social security?

I'm not clear on what you mean. I think that your brother not paying into social security is irrelevant to whether or not your mother chooses to leave him money. That's really her decision to make and if she splits her estate between the two of you I think you should respect her decision. Even if your brother's a douche your mom probably still loves him.

[Maraya1969]

2. He's lived a great life. He's traveled the world and lived in many places

He is not disabled. I understand it is my mother's decision but I'm the one that got stuck with the bipolar that hit my grandmother and Mady great grandmother. It is a suck gene to get. I guess I am jealous that he did not end up with it and I did.

I don't want to talk to my mother about this. I want to say it to my brother. He could be getting $3 to #4 thousand a month from SS because they both worked. That's more than I've ever made.

[hobbit709]

4. How is he going to get SS without paying into it?

[Maraya1969]

5. Buy starting to pay into it now I think. He is only 55

[MichiganVote]

3. She's not dead yet and its mother's money. She can choose what to do w/it.

[Liberal_in_LA]

10. Amen. She can give all to DU if she wants.

[NJmaverick]

6. It's your mother's money and she can do with it what she pleases

That's the reality of the situation. I know you would prefer to have all the money, but that's not your call. That's your mother's call. If she decides to split it, you shouldn't begrudge her. After all she has been giving you money all her life. Your brother is her child as well and it's normal to want to leave all your children money, when you pass. I am sorry for your plight, but you shouldn't take out your frustration, over that, on your brother. Remember after you mother passes, he will be the family you have left.

[emilyg]

8. Agree 100%.

[AnneD]

7. t is imperative that you and your mom get a will

drawn up by an attorney-one with estate planning. It may seem expensive but I can assure you, probate and a law suit by angry family is more costly. Get it done NOW. It is a sure way to honour her wishes.

[Liberal_in_LA]

9. Your mom has a right to do what she wants with her money. Neither of you have a right to expect it.

[Heidi]

11. Right on. That's EXACTLY how I feel about my parents' money.

They earned it, it's theirs and I frankly don't care whether any of us kids ever see a penny of it. In fact, I hope they spend every last dime before they die, cuz I'm not gonna fight anyone in my family over money, and I don't want the stress of seeing my siblings fight about money. :hi:

[Liberal_in_LA]

12. Glad you feel that way. I've known folks who have planned their lives expecting to get mom/dad's $$$