Cat Proverbs

[SoDesuKa]

Cats go back as long as we do, and just like us, they have evolved sayings that they pass on from generation to generation. Strictly speaking, cat "proverbs" aren't sayings as such, but they function the same as our proverbs do - they express the wisdom of cats' collective experience. Here are some I've collected.

• When the going gets tough, the tough take a nap.
  
  
• When the going gets really tough, the tough hide and take a nap.
  
  
• Food fights are winnable! If that dry food doesn't disappear on its own, work your contacts in the neighborhood. Nothing softens people up like disappearing for a day or two. If you're gone for a week, you can write your own ticket.
  
  
• The best time to decide if you really want to go out is when they open the door for you.

Got any suggestions to add to the list?

[Dr. Strange]

1. Seriously...don't tutch my but.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. That isn't a proverb; it's the Prime Directive.

Dont tutch the but.

[Arnold Judas Rimmer]

3. Cats don't just have Proverbs, they have an entire Bible

The cats bible(the holy book) is a part of the BBC-series Red Dwarf. Prologue: David Lister (secondary vice junior chicken-vending machine repairman) aboard the Jupiter Mining Corp ship Red Dwarf, was put into stasis (suspended animation)for bringing an unquarantied creature onboard the ship (his pet cat Frankenstein). He was put in stasis for six months. But due to a radiation leak he couldn't come out for three million years (for how many months his library book was expired is not told. During that time the cats kittens evolved into a sort of human-like cat people. Listers dream had always been to move to Fiji and open a Donut diner shop, where all the servers would have green cardboard hats with arrows thru the top.

This is a short part of their holy book: And Cloister the stupid(Lister) spoke: Lo, I shall lead you to Fyushal (Fiji) and there we shall open a temple of food, wherein shall be sausages and doughnuts and all manner of bountiful things. Yea, even individual sachets of mustard. And those who serve shall have hats of great majesty, yea though they be made of coloured cardboard and have humorous arrows through the top.

Cloister also gave the cats five holy commandments. These where all lost in the holy wars, but one: You shall not be cool. That one of the others has something to do with a sheep is known. Cloister was then frozen in time, and gave up his life so that the cats could live The cats then split up into two different fractions. The ones who believed that the hats should be red, and the ones who believed the hats should be blue. Years of holy wars were declared over that. Finally they called a truce and built two arks and left Red dwarf in search of Fyushal.

And Cloister gave to Frankenstein the sacred writing(Listers dirty laundry list), saying, those who have wisdom will know its meaning. And it was written thus: Seven socks, one shirt. And the ark that left first followed the sacred signs, and lo, they flew straight into an asteroid. And the righteous in the second ark flew ever onward, knowing that they were indeed righteous.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLXIOnWTAaI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrzeOtbpbT8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FQyb1SUw7Q

[Dr. Strange]

4. Yeah, but who has time to smell the whole thing?

I prefer the LOLcats bible:

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page