The binomial nomenclature of a Freeper

[commander bunnypants]

Freeperus nonintellegence

A small rat like creature with very sharp teeth. Usually ambulates on four legs but is known to try and stand on two legs like it's distant and more evolved cousin the monkey.

Is famous for blindly following its pack leader although this usually ends in death for the creature. They tend to mate within the family group which lends truth to it's lack of smarts. Its mouth is a cess pool of bacteria and a bite from this creature has been known to cause death

It can be distinguished by its short brown fur, hideous smell, and cry that sounds like a cross between a Tasmanian devil and a banshee.

These creatures were virtually unknown until approx. 1992 when they were discovered in the hills of South Eastern United States. It is important to stay away from these animals and let them mate themselves out of existence.

DDQM

[Skittles]

1. rats are very smart

freepers are f***ing stupid

[ET Awful]

2. You forgot to mention that the apparent dominant male . . .

of a particularly obnoxious herd of Freepers (in fact, the very herd from which they earned their name)is indigenous to the agricultural areas of central California.

The local authorities at one time had accurately described this species, but through bullying and intimidation tactics that amounted to nothing more than thuggery, were forced to recant their prior description.

[central scrutinizer]

3. is this a confirmed sighting?

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