Good evening Sir.

[LeftyFingerPop]

Good Evening bartender.

What can I get you to drink sir?

Heavily.

Heavily Sir?

Yes, tonight I will be drinking heavily.

[The Straight Story]

1. fuck that

I am my own bartender :)

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. Me too...

only tonight I am not drinking. Took the last of my pain pills. Waiting for them to kick in, then it is snoozesville.:)

[The Straight Story]

3. Somehow, this reminds me of you....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZbygmWKpP8

[LeftyFingerPop]

4. OMG! That was great!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[The Straight Story]

8. They have a ton more (7 seasons and a movie)

Check out the rest there on youtube. You will die laughing!

[LeftyFingerPop]

10. Thanks...

that was so damn funny...

[The Straight Story]

12. See the last part of this one (all of it is funny, but the end of this one...)

refuckulate.... :rofl:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2G3fPJFMA0

[LeftyFingerPop]

14. Damn!

I've never heard of these before...thanks for turning me on to these.

[elshiva]

16. What is that one about?

[elshiva]

5. Talking dog walks into a bar.

Dog: "Hey, hi, I'm a talking dog. Bet ya never saw a talking dog before. How about a drink for a talking dog?

Bartender: "Ok. Go down the hall. The toliet's on the right."

[LeftyFingerPop]

6. ....

:rofl: :thumbsup:

[elshiva]

7. Yes.

Of course the old one:

"Man walks into a bar. He says: 'Ouch.'"

[LeftyFingerPop]

9. Ok...

Termite walks into a bar and says...where is the bar tender?

Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "why the long face"?

Priest, rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. Bartender says "What is this, a joke or something"?

[elshiva]

11. A bear walks into a bar.

The bear sits down next to a drunken man. The man tries to put his arm around the bear, but the bear hits hims and leaves. Drunk tells bartender, "Give a girl a fur coat and they think they own the world."

[LeftyFingerPop]

13. Nice! Here's one...

Man walks into a bar and sits down.

He sees a woman at the other end and says to the bartender..."hey...give that old douchebag down there a drink".

Bartender says "Sir, that is no way to refer to a lady"

Man says..."she is no lady...she's an old douchebag. Give her a drink on me"

Bartender approaches the woman and says "The gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink".

Woman says "Ok, I'd like a vinegar and water please".

[elshiva]

15. OMG.

Why did the mushroom like to go to bars? Because he was fun guy for a fungi.

[LeftyFingerPop]

17. Here...

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

[elshiva]

18. Now I'm going to set something up and see if you

can give it a good punchline.

John McCain walks into a bar...

[LeftyFingerPop]

19. ok....

John McCain walks into a bar...

Bartender says "Good evening sir, can I get you a drink"?

McCain says..."No thanks, but the surge is working"

[elshiva]

20. Great.

Dubya walks into a bar...

[LeftyFingerPop]

21. ok

Dubya walks into a bar...

And says to the bartender..."Presidentin' is HARD WORK, HARD WORK...so why don't you do some HARD WORK and get me a drink or two or three...he he he he"

[elshiva]

22. Great.

Richard Nixon walks into a bar...

[LeftyFingerPop]

23. OK....

Richard Nixon walks into a bar...

Bartender says...."Sir, you told me last week that you were having private sex education classes to enhance your marriage, and that you were having difficulty learning a few things. How is that going for you"?

Nixon says..."Oh great! I finally got it down Pat".

[elshiva]

24. Bawahhahahaa!

Dick Cheney walks into a bar.

[LeftyFingerPop]

25. Ok...

Dick Cheney walks into a bar...

Bartender says "Hey Mr. Vice-President! Long time no see! Where have you been"?

Cheney says "I've been in an undisclosed location shooting my friends in the face".

[elshiva]

26. Hahahhaaaaha!

Jerry Garcia walks into a bar