OK hit me in the head with a bat - I'm going to start going to church (UU)

[Taverner]

I used to be so anti- church

I still am, to a great extent

But we're looking for the community, and my kids are starting to get questions that they can't answer. I answer them and the kids get even more confused. For example, my dad led a prayer before dinner once, and in the middle of it my son (in a loud voice) asks "WHY IS HE TALKING LIKE THAT????" Unfortunately, kids need to understand what religion is to get along in the world.

Sigh - can't believe I'm doing this.

The church we're looking at looks really cool. Celebrate diversity and multiculturalism, don't have to believe in anything, open to humanists like myself, etc...

Something about the recent Knoxville hate crime just got to me. Basically live together or die alone.

[flvegan]

1. UU is the only church I'd go to

and there's nothing *wrong* with going to church. Plus, if your UU is pretty active in your community, you're doing a service to the folks they help.

[LynneSin]

38. Quakers are also a good alternative depending on the church style

Some of the Quaker Churches out west can be a bit more conservative but overall Quakers are most liberal than UU.

[Parche]

2. This Is The Only Church I Would Ever Go To

:beer: :woohoo: :hi:

[Taverner]

4. Have I mentioned Heineken SUCKS!!!!!

Have a Blind Pig instead!!!!!

[kwassa]

12. watch your children rebel, and in time, become Heineken drinkers.

Happens every time.

[Taverner]

14. Just as long as they don't drink Pabst

damn blue ribbon :)

[DainBramaged]

25. What is wrong with Pabst?

Liverwurst and Swiss with onion sandwiches, and a couple of cans of Pabst.

That is a lunch for the lunch bucket crowd. (Used to have that when I was a Teamster driving the tractors).

[Taverner]

27. OK couple cans

Very different story :)

[Parche]

13. Heineken Is The Best

:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:P

:hi:

[kwassa]

15. best what?

Rust-remover?

antacid?

bubbling water?

[Parche]

17. PFFFTTTT

:P:P:P:P:P:P

The best beverage out there!! :woohoo: :woohoo: :hi:

[Fire Walk With Me]

3. Sounds like a great deal of culture shock. Prime your children first

or they may simply rebel against what they haven't yet been exposed to.

[Taverner]

7. True true

Part of me also wants there to be no mystery, so the fundies can't wow them with smoke and mirrors.

[ulysses]

8. I've thought about that as well.

Better the devil you know, as it were.

[yellowdogintexas]

10. BINGO...that is what put me back in church, when my kid was around 6 and

came home from daycare/kindergarten and announced she didn't believe in evolution. I knew I had to find an alternative fast

I had been watching my current church's live Sunday Services for a while because the minister was so damn good, and so very very liberal, theologically. So I took her there. Big Sunday School for kids, and a fabulous adult Sunday School program too. I digress. It was a good move all around.

[Fire Walk With Me]

24. Yeah, that's the opposite side of things for certain, well thought...

I trust you to tell them what you've learned and for them to decide themselves, hopefully in neither extreme.

[ulysses]

5. we keep talking about it.

I'm not even sure if there's a UU congregation out here, but I'd like to check it out if so and if we do. Let us know how it goes.

[yellowdogintexas]

6. with kids, that other source of moral guidance is very helpful. Also they get

to be in contact with kids their age who go to different schools, live in different areas and so on.

don't know how large your community is but the UU is likely to have some really interesting cross sections of your population, and lively intellectual discussions.

I belong to a very liberal United Methodist congregation that is very socially active in the community, supporting many highly worthwhile causes. When my daughter was living here, it gave her a different group of friends, challenging discussions, opportunity for field work in oppressed areas (home rebuild in Appalachia for example)and a whole other family of adults who did not think like her Southern Baptist aunts and uncles.

If anything, it gives your kids extra strength of courage when their friends are exerting peer pressure ...:-)

[Taverner]

9. I'm just worried the kids will carry the assumption that there 'is' a God

I have spoken to many Liberal Christians, even UU'ers who just assume there is a God.

[yellowdogintexas]

11. UU is going to be the least dogmatic so will most likely be a good fit.

later when they are older they can make up their own minds about this.

[SidneyCarton]

40. Some people (myself included) just need to believe in something.

We don't necessarily think God is going make it all better, but it helps us make sense of the mess, and gives us the added ability to get up in the morning. Your kids may believe, or maybe they won't, don't worry yourself too much about it, if you are a good example, they won't end up as psycho fundies.

My parents converted as Mormons prior to my birth, both are very liberal and didn't change, I believe firmly in my faith, and yet have very liberal convictions, the dichotomy allows me to see the complexity in many issues. Joining the UU's I suppose they won't have to worry quite so much about those dichotomies though... Anyhoo, don't fall asleep during the sermon and you'll do just fine.

[hedgehog]

16. "But we're looking for the community,"

That's really what Church is supposed to be about.

[Midlodemocrat]

18. At my church this weekend, the kids who attended the

'work camp' which helps indigent folks in another town with home repairs, spoke.

Talk about seeing the face of God.

Plus, Taverner, read my thread about the not clicking unless you want a good cry, especially response #2.

There are some things we'll never understand.

[LaraMN]

19. I went to church yesterday.

:scared:

One of my old friends was serving as a guest preacher, so I went to hear her and dragged my kids along.
It's really funny to watch someone stand up in front of a congregation and give a sermon, when you know full well all the naughty, naughty things they did in their younger years.

My pastor-friend's mom was there and introduced me to some elderly people as "Lara C___, you know, Sarah's friend- she was always really tall and wore really short skirts."

:rofl:

[Shell Beau]

20. Doesn't hurt to try.

[loveable liberal]

21. Churches that deal with spirituality are great!

Churches that deal in brain-washing and indoctrination suck.

[yellowdogintexas]

26. nice summary. I like that nt

[ScreamingMeemie]

22. I will never walk into a church again for organized masses and it

pisses me off that my children's grief support is held in a church... but what are you going to do? You do what you have to.

[Book Lover]

23. Good luck with that

[Sparkly]

28. I worked at a UU church for quite a few years...

I'd never heard of them before, and was afraid of churches too, so I didn't know if it was a good job for me. I loved the church, loved the job, learned a lot, and am so grateful for the experience. (I knew I'd like it when, visiting for the first time, I heard: "Our readings this morning are from the Washington Post and the New York Times..."! No kidding.)

Meanwhile, my ex insisted on taking our daughter to a "normal" Presbyterian church. So on Easter Sunday, she came home with pictures of shepherds she'd colored; the kids at the UU church had planted seeds inside eggshells and were learning about the resurgence of life in nature...

I wish I'd stood up to him better.

I think you may love the UU church!

[applegrove]

29. I joined the Unitarians and they are open and welcoming and will fullfill

your families needs. They have great kids programs and will even teach about sexuality through their famous OWL program (for teenagers). You'll be singing hymns from all sorts of religeons and belief systems. The sermon can be on just about anything. You'll love it!

[LiberalEsto]

30. Our Sunday sermon was on global warming

The service was intergenerational and included lots of props like purple balloons to illustrate quantities of carbon dioxide. It was lay-led by my friend Anneke, a scientist who came to the U.S. from the Netherlands. There was a lot of scientific info, but she also talked about our spiritual responsibility to our planet, to one another, and to future generations.

Last week's service was on various approaches to meditation. A few weeks earlier, we did one on communal drumming, led by someone who is involved in a shamanic tradition. I led one on June 22 for the summer solstice, with a sermon contrasting the tradition of midsummer fertility rites to the current destruction of crop fertility through patented genetically modified seeds.

Summer services are more informal and are lay-led, since that's when the minister is on vacation.

[Shine]

31. Wow, from what I've read of your posts, this is a pretty big deal.

Good for you, though. Having kids changes everything, doesn't it?

Who knows? Maybe you'll have a spiritual awakening and come to see the Divine in all things.

Then again, maybe not. :D LOL.

[GreenPartyVoter]

32. Hope that works out for you guys :^)

[Arugula Latte]

33. The Unitarian Church is the only church that doesn't make me feel like throwing up.

So, like you said, if you have to go to church, this is the one to go to. I don't think you necessarily have to believe in any sort of a deity to belong, either.

[grasswire]

34. I'm not sure your kids will learn about religion there

In my experience, UU youths learn more about what NOT to believe than about religion or faith or church. I read the book of credos that were part of the coming of age ceremony this year -- credos they wrote. They were filled with statements about what they don't think and don't believe, and IMO were kind of sad.

Of course, this is anecdotal. Perhaps you could visit a lot of different churches and educate your kids on the world religions.

[LiberalEsto]

35. In our case the exact opposite was true

When they were younger, my (now adult) kids were enrolled in UU religious education programs in New Jersey and in Maryland. My husband taught religious education for many years, in three different UU congregations.

UUs place a huge emphasis in teaching our children about other religious traditions. Our congregation's middle schoolers visit a different religious place of worship every month, after learning about that faith. UUism strongly stresses respect and tolerance for other religions. Our hymnal includes many hymns and readings from other religious traditions. Of course RE also focuses on the things UUs believe themselves: the Seven Principles. Here they are, from the UUA web site. http://www.uua.org/visitors/6798.shtml

There are seven principles which Unitarian Universalist congregations affirm and promote:

* The inherent worth and dignity of every person;
* Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;
* Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
* A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;
* The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;
* The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;
* Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

Unitarian Universalism (UU) draws from many sources:

* Direct experience of that transcending mystery and wonder, affirmed in all cultures, which moves us to a renewal of the spirit and an openness to the forces which create and uphold life;
* Words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love;
* Wisdom from the world's religions which inspires us in our ethical and spiritual life;
* Jewish and Christian teachings which call us to respond to God's love by loving our neighbors as ourselves;
* Humanist teachings which counsel us to heed the guidance of reason and the results of science, and warn us against idolatries of the mind and spirit.
* Spiritual teachings of earth-centered traditions which celebrate the sacred circle of life and instruct us to live in harmony with the rhythms of nature.

These principles and sources of faith are the backbone of our religious community.

[grasswire]

41. odd, isn't it...

...that the credos I read written by UU youths reflected little of the seven principles and were more anti-religion than anything else.

I realize that congregations differ, and that many children come to this particular church from anti-religion homes where the adults have openly repudiated their own faith experiences, usually Christian ones.

I was just sad that nothing seemed to have filled that human need for spiritual framework in these kids.

And I have two UU ministers in my family.

[LiberalEsto]

42. Young teens and pre-teens are skeptics

From what I recall of my own daughters, that age is when they want to seem cool to their peers. They tend to put down everything, including religion.

You're quite right that some people come to UUism with a strong anti-religion bias. But in my experience those who join and have kids join because they want their children to have a religious education of some sort, particularly a religious education in which they learn tolerance for others. We became UUs because we wanted our kids to have a religious education in which they learned about other faiths, and learned about getting along with all kinds of people.

[NJmaverick]

36. Nothing wrong with Church, as long as it's not a tool of the

right wingnuts. As you pointed out the community aspect is very helpful. Plus a good church will provide comfort.

[yellowdogintexas]

39. that is so true. I would really really miss my church in general and my Sunday School

class in particular if I had to move away from here. And I avoided church for about 20 years there.

The community is amazing, when it is done right. I had ample reason to see it in action when a member of our class died suddenly back in March. His widow kept telling us "I am SO glad to be a Good Neighbor, it is the best thing ever."

[RadiationTherapy]

37. My wife and I talk about it sometimes.

We miss "ceremony" and camaraderie about spirituality. I am very sensitive about it because I dislike platitudes and some conversations with people can get very vague and useless very quickly.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

43. Have you tried Glide Memorial in SF?

Bullwinkle925 has started going there and loves it. I went twice with her when I was out there - we just took BART over and walked 3 blocks. It's a dynamic place - we helped make sandwiches for the homeless and loved it.

[Arugula Latte]

44. My parents hated religion but took my sister and me to Glide one time when we were kids.

The experience was lost on me, though, because it was still a church, and, as such, creeped me out. But, in retrospect, Glide is pretty cool. Is Rev. Cecil Williams still around?

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

45. Yes - we got to see him both Sundays

He was having a pacemaker installed the following Monday (July 21st) - hope it went okay.

[Fire Walk With Me]

46. BTW, I would be stunned if even the UU church had enough non-judgement to go around.

Seems to me that judgement is one of the main habits of humans, and I've seen in even in places dedicated to freedom from such things. Good luck if you can find any batch of humans who are actually interested in doing God's word. :shrug:

[Flaxbee]

47. I've also thought of going, just out of curiosity. Religion fascinates me

and my parents were completely agnostic, so I grew up with a lot of science (dad a physician, mom a nurse, oldest sister a biologist, etc) but no religious education. I LOATHE the indoctrination of churches, but understanding the various religions, their books, etc., is, I have come to believe, an invaluable part of a liberal and deep education. I studied art history in college and really felt a lack of background when it came to studying centuries of European art.

As a kid I'd read most of the Greek myths, and studied Egyptian mythology, but my parents' aversion to organized religion created a distinct gap in my study of cultural history.

Now, I am positive I would have rebelled had I been forced to go to church. But I probably could have gotten into reading and discussing the Bible as a piece of literature.