Weird things you believed as a child

[dolo amber]

I must've been 3 or 4 years old before I realized that we live ON the earth, not inside of it. I also remember thinking that when you were born you were fully clothed, came out of a door the doctor cut into your mom's belly, and could talk. :D

I can remember scraping dead flies off the window sill and placing them in any available standing water I could find, because as everyone knows, dead flies reanimate in water...:wtf:

Man, there's so many...according to my family, I was a rather odd child. :D

So what's yours? :)

[ikojo]

I thought that when I heard a song on the radio

the band, whose song was being played, was actually AT the radio station performing. I was about four or so at the time.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

15. Radio WAS that way at the beginning (nt)

[arwalden]

46. My Dad Was A DJ For A Local Country Music Station

when I was a child. I would try to peek inside to see him. But all I could see were the glowing tubes. (YES tubes.)

-- Allen

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

78. Tubes rock!

http://www.geekculture.com/geekculturestore/webstore/tubesrock.html

[southerngirlwriter]

47. me too! :-)

I remember getting a crush on a singer at about six and then crying to my grandmother to PLEASE take me in and let me meet him when we drove by the radio station. She was perplexed until she figured out where my head was at. She didn't laugh at me, which I will forever be grateful for. :)

[Dookus]

1. I remember when my parents bought an above-ground pool

and it came in all these boxes and we had to assemble it and it took all day and my job mostly consisted of just holding things.

Then my dad went out shortly after to buy a new car, and I was terrified, thinking I'd have to help him assemble the car. I was so relieved when he drove up in it.

[dolo amber]

4. Actually, truly

really honestly "LOL!!!" at that one!! :D

[Goldberg]

2. My grandpa convinced me that chocolate milk came from brown cows.

Yep. I was a gullible little child.

[neebob]

10. My dad told me that one

and now I find out it wasn't even original. I also believed this big plastic cow on top of a silo on what is now the Van Winkle Expressway in SLC was real. And I remember wondering if the world was inside a giant's mouth and the mountains were its teeth, though that was more of a fantasy than an actual belief.

Finally, I remember feeling very stupid and humiliated in the 4th grade to learn I was the only one of my friends who still believed in Santa Claus. So I told my son the truth about Santa AND the Easter Bunny when he was 3.

[MidwestMomma]

3. My dad died when I was five

But until I was in third grade, I believed he was a spy and on a secret mission in Russia and it was so secret that's why we had to think he was dead. What an imagination I had.

Let's see, I thought if you let your feet hang over the bed, something would get you. Always had to sleep with my feet tucked in the covers. Actually I still do!

[Roon]

8. or when your feet does dangle..

you are afraid to pull them up because you think whatever is under there is going to attack!

[Roon]

5. I went to an aquarium in cape cod while on family vacation.

I saw the sea turtle tank and didn't realize that it was water. I watched these turtles swimming around and I thought they were flying around. Flapping their wings and all.

I ran to get my dad. Daddy, Daddy..come see the flying turtles!!

[GregorStocks]

6. For some reason, I thought there

was a cow in our basement.

[dolo amber]

87. Ok, see...

This one's got me a bit confused. Cow/no cow. I'm not seeing a lot of grey area here...

:D

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

7. There were a couple

I believed that every time we changed the channel on our TV, everybody else's in the neighborhood changed too.

I believed that actors whose characters were killed really died, and I felt sorry for them, but figured they knew that's what would happen when they decided to become actors.

I'm deaf in one ear and figured that everyone was the same - one ear to hear out of and the other ear to make your head look balanced.

[Nay]

9. I believed that if you could get yourself into the middle of a hedge,

even if the hedge was sparse, you would be totally invisible if you stayed real still...

My best friend also thought that when you heard a song on the radio, the band was playing at the radio station.

[Kamika]

11. The witch beneath my bed

You know, she would lay there and if I stand up too long she'll grab my ankle..

Oh and Santa

[cedahlia]

37. Witches

You reminded me of another thing I used to think...

I live in Maryland, and we would occaisionally drive through the Harbor Tunnel in Baltimore. All along the inside walls of the tunnel, every 500(?) ft. or so, there are these tiny steel and glass "rooms" with a set double doors on them. (I'm guessing they're for emergency situations or maintenance workers or something like that.) But when I was a kid, I thought that witches lived in them. I was never really scared, just thought rather matter-of-factly, "yeah, that's where the witches live." ??? :D

[twistedliberal]

12. When we drove by cemeteries...

I thought giants were playing chess.

[RoeBear]

13. I have this memory of living next to this goofy kid...

...who would scrape dead flies off a window sill and put them in water, he actually thought that they'd come back to life.

Crazy huh? :P

[dolo amber]

16. Hey! There's a perfectly

reasonable explaination (or I like to think, anyway :P)...

I'd seen one of those wee dried up sponges that turn into an advertisment when wet...I'm pretty sure that's where that idea came from. ;) :D

Thanks for the laughs, everyone! I'm beginning to think I wasn't such an odd child after all; perhaps my siblings were just dull. ;)

:hi:

[RoeBear]

21. Those sponges were cool!

I liked to drip water on one spot and watch it grow.


My actual funny memory is; thinking that a guy would have to pee in a girl to get her pregnant. I couldn't figure out why any girl would want a guy to do that.

[neebob]

23. A girl told me that in the 5th grade

and I asked my mom if it was true, and I swear she said, "No, it's something that a man and woman do once a month to show how much they love each other." She denies this, but I remember it as if it were on videotape. We were in her '65 Impala, passing this particular 7-11 store.

[RoeBear]

27. Based on the info you have given me...

...I deduce that you grew up in the south. Am I right?

[neebob]

32. Nope, Salt Lake City. nt

[proud patriot]

14. I thought dogs were boys and cats were girls

:shrug: hey well it made sense at the time

[twistedliberal]

17. Me too!

I still tend to assume that cats are girls until I'm told otherwise.

[The empressof all]

89. omygod

All these years I thought I was the only one who believed this

[Alenne]

18. My uncle told me stirring your ice cream can cause cancer

I still don't stir my ice cream.

When my dad said he was going to see a man about a horse, I would believe him.

[FeelinGarfunkelly]

100. My cousin told me the same thing!

And my dad said once he was "going to see a man about a dog" and I got so excited because we would have another doggy. Then he explained it to me...and I was disgusted.



Edit for spelling

[porkrind]

19. I was raised a Mormon.

:( Sorry to add a downer post to a fun thread, but...

I believed in all kinds of crazy things like:

Minorities had dark skins because God cursed them. (official Mormon teaching) White people were more righteous because they had been "valiant" in the war in heaven.
:wtf:
Jesus was going to come back to earth at about the year 2000, and all the Mormons would go with him to Missouri (which was where the garden of eden was) to become gods like him.
:wtf:
Evolution was false. Satan just put dinosaur bones in the earth to deceive the weak-minded. The earth is not billions of years old, it's only 13000 years old, as stated in the bible.
:wtf:
God appeared to Mormon founder Joe Smith (think David Koresh) and told him that he was His prophet on earth, that he should make his own bible (called the Book of Mormon), that he should make his own church where people pay him to live in luxury while they toil, and where he should marry and sleep with other men's wives in secrecy, and without telling his own wife.
:wtf:
Lots more at: http://www.exmormon.org

(sorry if I sound bitter, I am. I hate to be lied to.)
:argh:

[frylock]

35. yep.. south park did an episode about this..

it was rather enlightening.

[neebob]

36. Ex-mo here, too

though it sounds like you were more traumatized than I. For me it was only 5 or 6 years when I was a teenager, after my family moved from Salt Lake to Arvada, Colorado, and my parents went off the deep end and got married in the temple and made us go to church every Sunday. Before that, they were Jacks.

I blew off the church at 20, soon as I got out from under my dad's roof and thumb, after a wasted year at Ricks Big Churchy High School with Curfews and Snitches. I thought I was completely over it until a few months ago, when a co-worker lent me Under the Banner of Heaven and I realized the extent of the line I'd been fed as a teenager. As if I needed another dad issue, come to find out, he dragged us all into a cult.

I'm still annoyed about that, but in the big bucket of dad issues and mom issues that have developed since he died, it's just one drop.

[MidwestMomma]

39. Don't feel bad, I was raised Catholic

My favorite propaganda (as in it's so bad, it's my favorite) was that if the Communists invaded our country 'they' would ask you if you believed in God and if you said yes, they would poke your eardrum out with a chopstick. WTF? I kid you not, this story was in an issue of our Catholic Kids Digest or whatever it was called.

The 'communists' were always going to do horrible things to you if you would not renounce God. However, I was a rebel even as I child and decided that God would not want me to have my eardrum pierced so if that situation ever happened...I know WTF?...I would lie and just say I didn't believe because God would know I believed in him.

Goodness, no wonder I'm screwed up!

[Kamika]

44. that's true

The communists did horrible things to religious people and priests in Russia/China etc during the revolution and afterwards.

They would no doubt kill all priests if they invaded the Us

[blockhead]

63. the eardrum chopsticks thing

has me giggling like a little girl!

[Dogmudgeon]

97. Oh, God ... the Communist Chopsticks story!

I got that one, too, and it messed me up for weeks.

It seems that there was one poor victim of the Chinese Communist terror who actually suffered this. The story I got was that they put sharpened chopsticks in his ears and asked him to renounce Jesus. If he did, he'd be spared; otherwise, they would slam the sticks into his ears and through his skull. But, if he didn't renounce Jesus, we were told, even though he would suffer a horrible death, he would rise into Heaven.

Religions make people do the craziest things. We ought to just save money and legalize hallucinogens instead.

--bkl
And then there was Cardinal Mindszenty ...

[Kamika]

43. question

what was the war in heaven about

[porkrind]

45. Who knows?

I think it was just a carrot and stick fear story to tell us we were all more righteous and better than non-Mormons. Something about "pre-existence" spirits warring over who was right: Jesus or Satan.
:wtf:

The whole idea with any cult is to make you think you are fundamentally different than others non of the "group". It makes you more easily controlled. I don't use the word "Cult" lightly. The Mormon church is a cult with the "Prophet" as it's center. The central doctrine is that the prophet speaks for God, is infallible, and must be obeyed without discussion. No debate is allowed. Any questioning shows you lack of faith and is met with scorn.

BTW, the "South Park" episode was great. I think one of the creators of the show grew up Mormon, so he had a lot of insight into it's goofiness. Also, I've heard the Krakauer book was great.

[neebob]

48. The Krakauer book is not anti-Mormon

though I've heard the church is all over it. It's full of little facts I'd never heard, like Joseph Smith was convicted of money-digging (which was a felony of the time) using rocks called seer stones and when he couldn't pay for the printing of the BOM, he had a revelation that Martin Harris should sell his farm. Oh, and by the way, the fundamentalist polygamists still practice what he actually taught.

When I first started reading this book, it bothered me that Krakauer kept comparing the fundamentalists to the mainstream Mormon church, and I kept asking myself why. But I kept reading, and every little bit of history I'd never heard added up to the realization that Joseph Smith was nothing but a common con man who started a cult. And the reason it bothered me is that the old programming I thought I'd shaken off years ago was still with me.

It wasn't the author's intention, but that's what I got out of it. It helped me shake the guilt trip once and for all. If you're feeling bitter, try reading this book.

[porkrind]

72. Right, but the Mormon church does consider it "Anti-Mormon"

The church is in deep denial of its own history. In fact, most Mormons don't know their own history, all they know is a sanitized version that agrees with the current dumbed-down dogma.

I'm sure Krakauer's book is a scholarly, even-handed, and fair look at the church and its history, but Mormons don't like anything that goes against the how they are trying to market themselves to the world. Gotta keep the sheep dumb, fearful of punishment from a capricious vengeful god, and most of all, paying their tithing the the Mormon corporation.

[camero]

20. The only one I fell for was Santa Claus

And I found out about that one soon enough. I was quite a skeptical kid.

[CanuckAmok]

53. Um...what do you mean?

n/t

[camero]

57. You know ....that Santa

:)

[NightTrain]

22. That America is a free country.

Ha! What innocent fools children can be.

[camero]

24. I admit it

I fell for that one too until I was 16.

[JohnLocke]

70. That one's true...

...under a Democrat!

[brook]

25. For many years...

I believed that the clouds were people's souls on the way to Heaven.

[Burma Jones]

26. That Babies came from Oral Sex

I saw a pornographic Oral Sex picture when I was about 7. I knew Mom's belly got big when my younger brothers were on their way. I put two and two together and got five....

[Shananigans]

28. They cover the powerlines when it rains...

I remember when I was little and it would rain, I always wondered how the electricity didn't react with the water. I swear I remember my mom telling me that they had to come out and cover the powerlines when it rained. I believed that until I was about 9.

To this day my mom SWEARS she never told me that. She lies!

[cryfordawn]

29. That my Grandmother was a witch....

I always said it and my brother was scared to death of it. She would start to do the bibbidy bobidy boo from cinderella and my brother would freak. She still laughs about it today. He really should have been a frog by now. :)

[Shananigans]

30. That radio stations played the same song at the same time every day...

I have no idea why I believed this, but I remember telling my mom that we had to listen to the radio at 10:00 one day. She asked me why and I told her it was because "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" was going to be playing. When she asked me how I knew I told her that that was what time they played it today.

My mom, being the sweet lady she is, didn't correct me. She just asked me if I was SURE that's how it worked. Hahaha....

How naive we all were...

[MountainLaurel]

31. That Iranians were hiding in the hills

This was around the time of the hostage crisis, and somehow I became convinced that a group of Iranian terrorists were hiding up on the mountain above my elementary school waiting to attack. I swore to my mother I could see them peeking out through the trees. I also believed that the rust on the old football scoreboard on the same hill was actually blood from a murder.

I also was convinced that my family used to be Jewish. (I knew that almost all Italians were some religion but that our branch no longer was; I just got the wrong religion.)

[cedahlia]

33. I was weird

I remember thinking that everyone on the planet were robots, and I was the only one who was really alive.

Also, there was a cemetary we would pass by a lot in the car that had a small marble/stone house-like structure as a grave marker...I thought God lived in there...no big deal, that was just "where God lived." A few years later I was an agnostic and abandoned that idea. ;)

Those are the first two things that popped into my mind, but I was a highly imaginative kid, so there's probably lots of other odd things I believed...wish I had a better memory!

***ON EDIT***

I remembered another bizarre one...I thought that the big cone-shaped structures that hold road salt actually held orange juice in them. (I guess because their shape reminded me of a plastic juice extractors.)

[bubba_fett]

125. Kind of the same thing

I sometimes wondered if I was some kind of twisted monster and all my family was told to act like I was normal, and all the mirrors were rigged to show an illusion of my reflection.

[Spirochete]

34. I remember

there was a store downtown called Wolf's. I thought they kept wolves there, and every time we drove by it, I'd look to see if I could see any.

[frylock]

40. too funny!! when I was little, my grandparents lived around the corner..

from a family with the last name Wolf. Evidently, they had a rocky marriage, and were prone to loud arguments. I remember one night during a summer BBQ with the whole family, and you could hear the Wolfs were arguing. My gramma mentioned that the Wolfs were fighting again. Being that I was about 5 or 6, I couldn't shake the image of two Timberwolves squaring off, and begged to go and watch!

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

54. There was a candy shop called Reuland's Nut House...

You can imagine what my older sibs convinced me they kept locked up inside.

[sweetheart]

38. That people change sex every few years

It must have been kindergarten when i "learned" that this wasn't true.

I used to have lots of flying dreams as a kid, where i would
throw myself at the ground and fly by will, and when i doubted it, i would fall.... I tested it out and really hurt my chin.. oh well. :-)

I also used to believe that they meant it with "... with liberty
and justice for all." Now that i know it was a big lie, i've little
interest in the US state except to depose republicans.

I believed that semen was blue. I have no idea where i got that idea, perhaps toilet cleaning adverts... but somehow daddy would make a switch in his mind, and pee blue fluid on my mother to make her pregnant.

[silverlib]

41. When I was a little girl

and would misbehave, my dad would remind me that "he never did anything like that when he was a little girl." It took me longer than it should have to realize the real lesson in that remark!

I laughed when he shared the same story with my daughters as they sat in his lap after being scolded. (usually not by him)

[Breezy du Nord]

42. I used to think the weatherman lived in the sky w/ God

:D Odd, huh?

[foreigncorrespondent]

49. A couple here...

...I thought that all the families I was watching on the tube, were real life families. I even told my mum how lucky these families were to be on telly. LOL

And when my great grandmother died (I was only 3, but very close to her) my mum and grandmother had no idea how they were going to tell me (scared of my hurt I guess.) Anyway, they told my sister who was a couple of years older than me, and she ended up blabbing to me. But her words were "Great grandma has gone." So of course I reply with "Gone where?" She answers"Up there" and pointed to one of the lights in the kitchen. So from that moment on I believed great grandma was in the light in the kitchen looking over us.

[Melsky]

50. Regarding sex

I knew that the guy stuck his thingy in you, and it went in and out. But I didn't realize that he had to move it in and out with his body, I thought that it had some sort of independent jack hammer like action.

[starroute]

101. I thought people could only have sex at right angles

When I first learned about erections (I suppose around age 12 or 13), I assumed that the man's penis must stick straight out from his body and that men and women would have to lie at right angles to each other to have sex. I wondered how people managed to have sex if they didn't own a double bed so that one of them could stretch out sideways.

I didn't find out differently until we had sex education in 12th grade and they handed out sheets with a cross-section of the male plumbing. I looked at the diagram showing the tube from the testes heading up at a fairly sharp angle before bending down into the penis and then thought about it really intently for several minutes. Finally, I raised my hand and asked whether this picture meant that the tube became a straight line when the penis was erect.

That explained a whole *lot* of things that I hadn't understood in the trashy historical novels I'd been reading.

[SmileyBoy]

51. I couldn't tell the difference between...

...the 10 Commandments and the Bill of Rights until I was in 4th or 5th grade.

[CanuckAmok]

52. That girls couldn't fart.

:shrug:


Also, and I only believed this because I was TAUGHT it in my only year of Catholic School (Grade 3 "science" class), that men had one less rib than women, because we were all descended from Adam, who had one of his ribs turned into Eve.

:shrug:

[zanana]

55. That when you got the "calling" from God...

To become a nun or a priest, He called you on the phone. For awhile, every time the phone rang, I hid under the bed.

[Panda1]

56. That life would be fair......

....as long as I was a good little girl. And that good things come to those who wait. At 8 I wanted to be a nun. At 9 I learned life isn't fair at all. Now I believe in Karma.

[progressivebydesign]

58. That if you held my wrist tight enuff, my hand would fall off..

My family would torment me.. because I believe this to be true. That the hand would fall right off. I have flashbacks of this whenever something is too tight on my arm or wrist.. you should watch my blood pressure jump when the cuff gets tighter.. I start to freak out. My family didn't do this to me to be cruel.. it seemed funny at the time, I guess.

[populistmom]

59. I remember in my late teens thinking the Green Party was...

the greatest thing since slice bread (this was the era of Bush 1). It would be the answer to save the world when I first began to read about them. Little did I know... :grr:

Actually, their hearts are in the right place, but the old "no difference" thing is bullshit and we're going for be royally fucked up the bootie without any lubricant because of Nadar now.

(Excuse my unlady behavior and cursing, but I'm so mad and frustrated about this that I'm going nuts and been reading a lot of GD and LBN today with nothing to say because I sit here in horror thinking about the future of our country and our planet. :scared: )

[NightTrain]

60. Why are you raising your blood pressure by going to GD?

Personally, I'm just ignoring the whole Nader phenomenon. I truly believe that his candidacy will be a non-issue this time around. And I use myself as an example of why.

While I voted for Nader both in 1996 and 2000 (and never regretted either decision), I won't be doing it again this year. There's a time to vote your conscience, and a time to vote pragmatically. In 2004, the latter is clearly the case.

It is absolutely imperative--not only for America, but for the whole world--that we get Bush's ass out of our White House. That's why I've registered as a Democrat for the first time since 1992 and will give my vote to the party's candidate (presumably Kerry) on November 2nd. And I can't be the only Naderite who sees things that way!

Redirect all that energy and passion toward the Bush campaign, and you'll really have something! :thumbsup:

[populistmom]

66. I go to GD a lot

I'm just not a big poster there (I get all emotioned-out about things and hate being in the middle of arguments). I argue better in real life because I can be sweet and charming enough about it that I never get lashed out at back as much as I do online.
In a solid blue state like Connecticut, voting Nadar isn't a big deal (both my husband and my dad did last time), but for those in states like Ohio, Michigan, or Florida (not that that's the only reason, but it sure didn't help) it takes on a new meaning.
I'll take on those Bushies. I had a lab partner last semester that verbally surrendered (i.e. wimped out, but I didn't changed his mind) because I kept ranting about the current state of politics when he'd reiterate on some lame freeper-like talking point.

Sorry Greens. I love ya and respect ya. I just needed to get it out. (Okay, deep cleansing breath. All is well. Oooooommmmm!)

[NightTrain]

69. Sarah, I fully understand where you're coming from.

I became concerned about Nader's candidacy in 2000 when, as a response to his being banned from the debates, his campaign decided to go to the states where Gore was vulnerable. (Initially, the Nader campaign had decided to campaign only in blue states.)

By that point, of course, my initial assumption had been dashed, namely that a seasoned political veteran like Al Gore could kick the ass of a moron like Bush without even trying hard. I still can't get over how incompetently run the Gore 2000 campaign was! Funny how the Nader-haters never seem to mention that....

Anyway, I voted Nader in 2000, for the reason you stated about Connecticut being a solid blue state. This time, however, I just can't do it. When Connecticut has its primary on Super Tuesday, I plan to vote for Kucinich. And come November 2nd, I'll be voting (presumably) for John Kerry.

Once we send Bush's ass packing back to his ranch without horses, then we can work on President Kerry to soften his more right-leaning stances. But first thing's first, y'all! Right?

[jonnyblitz]

73. thanks for the "CT is a blue state" info. I was wondering

since I will be voting here for the first time. I had no idea how this state usually votes. I will still vote for the DEM even if its a safe blue state as I did in my last safe blue state. :hi:

[NC_Nurse]

61. I used to think

maybe I was just existing in a dream of someone else's and that they might wake up and "poof" I would disappear and the world around me too.

[Kamika]

62. another.. Hospitals were free

The biggest chock in my life (I was 7 or so) was that everyone didn't get free healthcare.. I thought that was a human right till then

[Djinn]

90. I had the opposite

I thought that nurses went through your wallet while you were in emergency surgenry to get the money to pay for the op and I really used to worry what would happen to me I never had money in my pockets! - I asked my dad what happens if you have no money and he explained that in Australia it doesn't matter how much money you have, if you need medical help you get it - then he had to explain taxes a bit.

I also had a very odd impression of what Australia was like before we moved here (I was five when we emigrated) I thought it was a huge sand filled desert with tram tracks running through it and indigenous australians sitting around said tracks playing the didge - I was surprised to find we weren't the first white folks here! God only knows how aboriginal/desert and tram tracks came to be the overriding impression of the antipodes to a five year old but I've met plenty of folks since (sorry most of them are american) who'll still fall for the "we ride kangaroos to school" line that AUstralians take peverse pleasure in propagating when O/S - I guess it's our own fault that some people assume we don't have cities/cars etc

[Droopy]

64. I used to think that all cats were female and all dogs were male.

[Bertha Venation]

65. tho't all cats were girls and all dogs were boys

maybe I'll think of more later :shrug:
Yours are weird enough, dolo. :toast:

[dolo amber]

67. Why thank ya, ma'am

*tips hat*

:D

And another Happy B'day to you as well. :) :party:

[CO Liberal]

68. I Thought The Holland Tunnel Went to Holland

It actually goes bwtween New Jersey and Lower Manhattan, but when I was growing up in New Jersey, I thought the Holland Tunnel would take you to Holland. Imagine my surprise the first time we took it, and we wound up in New York......

[nuxvomica]

71. Where I live, we are surrounded by mountains

As a child, I wondered why no matter how far we drove, I would always see mountains on the horizon. I asked my dad what was on the other side of the mountains and he told me there were poison tomatoes and that the mountains protected us from them. I eventually learned on my own that this wasn't true but I've never liked being in flat country.

Also, we had an old fan that we used a lot in the summer. Wedged into one of the vents on the fan's motor was an old Sugar Smack (a "sugar-toasted puff of wheat"). I thought it was part of the mechanism and the concept of the beetle carapace-like cereal being part of an electric motor was disturbing to me at times.

[trackfan]

128. Us hill folk get some strange ideas...

My cousin used to think that China was on the other side of the mountain. Since he didn't distinguish very well between China and Japan and, since he was a big fan of Godzilla movies, he always thought Godzilla might come charging over the mountain at any minute.

[Fight_n_back]

74. I believed the President

When I was four and Nixon came on TV I would stand at attention.

When I was four my birthday was on the fourth and my six year old brothers was on the 6th so naturally I assumed that the next year my birthday would be on the fifth and his the seventh.

I believed that all cats were female and all dogs were male. Lions had to be dogs because an animal show I saw talked about the male lion.

When I was little, Red China was in the news (I think it was about the UN deciding if there was more than one China). I asked my brother what the difference between the "Red" Chinese and the regular chinese was. He told me the Red Chinese were bigger and more warlike so that night I had a dream about giant Chinese marching to war.

Never ask your brother anything...

[dolo amber]

84. Omg, with the birthday thing...

One of my sisters is born on the 23rd, 1973...the other was born on the 20th (same month) 1976. The older one COULD NOT understand how it worked that she was older, but born later (day-wise) until she was like seriously...8 or 9 or something. :D

[NoPasaran]

75. I believed that the roads and sidewalks

were the real surface of the earth and the soil under own lawn was just a few feet deep.

I may have been ahead of my time.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

76. That Scotland was another island, north of Britain

Many comics and other stories told about this funny country called Scotland where men wear skirts. I asked Mom where it was, she said "North of England", and off I went to look for it on the World Map (I had a big one on my room wall). There's England, all right, but North of it there were only a few small islands, none of it called Scotland. I got miffed that I couldn't find it.

For me, "England" was just another name for "Great Britain" -- ditto for "Soviet Union" and "Russia". I was 6.

Edit: grammar.

[Djinn]

91. plenty of adults STILL think that

when people ask where I'm from and I say Scotland - I often get the reply "oh that's part of England isn't it?" it take enourmous strength not to hit them

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

112. The ghost of William Wallace...

...will come in the middle of the night and hack them up into small pieces, and them hack those pieces into even smaller pieces. :evilgrin:

[Lizz612]

77. I thought Chicago was on the east coast

and that there were, therefore, two Illinois. One was below Wisconsin and the other was mostly Chicago and was closer to New York. I could not imagine a city as cool as Chicago being in the Midwest.

[solinvictus]

79. The world was black and white before I was born.

I belived that because old movies and pictures were black and white, that the world must have been so as well before I was born.

[Fight_n_back]

80. I thught that too!

How weird...

Old movies were in black and white so the whole world must have been.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

83. I thought the same thing. I thought that it went into color in the 70s.

Kids are weird.
Duckie

[FeelinGarfunkelly]

99. Those crazy cameras..tricking little kids like us

I thought that for the longest time..probably until I was 7 or 8.

[latebloomer]

81. I remember thinking the little people on TV

were actually INSIDE my TV!!

[VelmaD]

82. An older girl who lived next door convinced me...

that there was this monster that went around the world hitting every city once every year. You never knew when it would come to your town. It only came out at night and you had to be sure the blinds were closed on your bedroom window because if it could see in through any tiny crack and see you then it would break in and "get you". *embarassed grin*

I still prefer to have the blinds closed to this day.

[kdmorris]

85. When I was really young...

I remember thinking that if I took a bath after my brother, I would get pregnant. If he took a bath first, I'd always take a shower instead. I have no idea why I thought this, but I was only about 7 or so and he was 5.

:shrug:

[Zomby Woof]

86. you mean none of that is true??

:cry:

[VOX]

88. When I was 4, I was convinced that I could fly...

All I needed was to tie a blanket around my neck (sort of) like Superman. I lived on top of a hill, and I figured that, with that blanket on, and running down that hill, there was no way that I *couldn't* fly.

The night I had this revelation, I could barely sleep, I was so excited. With the morning light, I'd be flying all around town, the envy of all, rounding up evildoers, and generally would have it made.

My reward for being so imaginative was a pair of skinned knees and the first inkling that this was going to be a long haul.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

103. Me too!

I had really vivid flying dreams; and I was convinced they weren't dreams for the longest time.

[AlFrankenFan]

92. I was afraid...

that the windows in my bedrooms in both Richmond and Fairfax, VA would suck me into the darkness, as I often had nightmares about it.

Also, in our house in Golden, CO, I thought there was an FBI agent that was constantly watching me and following me wherever I went.

[ZenLefty]

93. I used to think Alaska was an island in the Pacific Southwest

It appears that way on some maps. :shrug:

[Mrs. Overall]

118. I had an Alaska one, too.

Until I was a freshman in high school, I thought Pearl Harbor was in Alaska. I always imagined the Japanese flying up there to attack. I was shocked to learn it was in Hawaii.

[seaglass]

94. I believed that in heaven everyone stayed in appliance

boxes on their own personal cloud and angels flew from cloud to cloud feeding us angel food cake.

[mykpart]

95. When I was very young

I thought that the people on TV could see me just like I could see them.

I thought that clowns were a separate race and were born with white faces and red noses. I was so upset when i saw a movie that showed a clown removing his makeup. I thought, "Aha! He isn't a REAL clown!"

I thought the black seeds in bananas were tarantula eggs.

[scarlet_owl]

96. I believed that there was an imaginary man in our basement

named PumPum who looked like Ted Koppel. I could only communicate with him by putting the pointy end of a fruit juicer (the tray kind with the point) into the keyhole and talking into it.

[FeelinGarfunkelly]

98. Skeletons!

When I went down the stairs in my house, if the stairwell lights weren't on, then skeletons would follow me down the stairs..

Also:
When we would drive by cemeteries I would always hold my breath till we were past them because I thought that if I didn't, my life would be shortened somehow.

[ButterflyBlood]

102. That the Soviet Union bordered the US

it technically was quite close (Big Diomede and Little Diomede islands were only about 2 miles apart), but I thought it was actually in the western hemisphere, and much smaller.

[Dogmudgeon]

104. I believed ...

... that dragonflies would sew your lips and nose and eyelids shut.

... that cats regularly slashed the throats of babies to get at the milk they were drinking.

... that the word "blonde" meant "pregnant" (since several of my mother's friends who were blonde were pregnant at the same time).

... that the sperms got to the egg by flying through the air (I had the misfortune of reading a college bio text when I was 7, and there was no mention of intercourse).

... that Canadian AM radio stations broadcasting in French were really transmissions from a civilization on Mars. (And speaking of Mars ... )

... that the movie Robinson Crusoe on Mars was based on a real space mission.

... that President Johnson was Chinese.

... that LSD was a liquid that you had to swig out of a plastic gallon jug, like a modern version of hillbillies drinking moonshine. (Probably based on sensationalized stories from 1965 of Timothy Leary's exploits at the Hitchcock Estate at Millbrook, NY.)

... that the Viet Cong regularly flew missions over the USA in fighter jets and bombed places, which was why we were at war with them. (I lived near a Naval Air Development Center from age 5 onward.)

... that the word "Negro" meant someone who was able to dance the Limbo, and wondered why they didn't allow that in the South.

Naturally, a few questions to Mom or Dad would get me the correct explanation -- after about five minutes of laughter.

--bkl
As for the weird things I believe as an adult ...

[starroute]

105. I thought the lines on the road were for motorcycles to drive on

I thought The Hunchback of Notre Dame was a football story.

I heard the phrase "Mary the Mother of God," and being a Jewish kid and not being able to conceive of more than one God, I decided that Mary must have created the universe and started everything going but then her kid got uppity and shoved her aside and took all the credit. I felt pretty resentful about it, too.

[neebob]

106. A weird thing my brother thought

My mom used to keep her Tampax on the back of the toilet, and my brother, who's three years younger than I, apparently read the instructions. So one day the subject of the things on the back of the toilet came up, and I - sophisticated 10- or 11-year-old that I was - challenged him to tell me what they were.

"They're called maestros," he said, "and you sit on them." And that's how tampons came to be called maestros at my house.

[NashVegas]

107. Bands Played Live in Radio Stations' Tower Antenna Shacks

My elder siblings told me so.

And monsters hid in my mother's clothing rack, in my bedroom, at night.

[Paranoid_Portlander]

108. I was afraid to submerge my navel...

... in the bathtub for fear that the water would seep in. Did anyone else have this fear?

[MidwestMomma]

109. No, but daughter thought she would go down the drain with the water

if she was in the tub and you took the plug out.

[IronLionZion]

122. I was very sure that water would go in my ears

and I would fill up with water so I didn't stick my head in the water until about first grade or so. And I would be very careful not to get water in my ears while taking a shower.

[Mobius]

110. cant tell you

sex thread. dont wanna get busted.

[Bundbuster]

111. That a forecast for "Fair" weather

meant a so-so, probably cloudy day with a little rain (as in the poor/fair/good/excellent rating scale). Well into my teens, I thought that all weathermen must be totally incompetent, seeing all those forecasts for "fair" weather turn out to be beautiful sunny days. Maybe that's why I later worked for the National Weather Service, to set things straight!

[On the Road]

113. I Thought "Colored" People Had

skin which was irridescent.

I thought if you mixed toilet paper with water, you would make cotton.

I speculated that the moon was Alaska, because it looked so cold and icy.

Someone who went to my high school believed that "a quarter past 3:00" meant 25 minutes past three, because a quarter was worth 25 cents. He was 16 before he found out the tuth.

[dolo amber]

114. I used to call

'colored' people crayons when I was little. The funny thing about that is, no one could figure out why. I'd think it'd be pretty obvious, no? :shrug:

[carolinayellowdog]

115. If I fell off my (top) bunk bed, I'd be a grease spot when I landed

My parents told me that to keep me from jumping, and years later denied ever saying it. Fear of becoming a grease spot was a major worry of mine around age 4.

[newsguyatl]

116. i used to believe

that everything before, say, 1970, was in black and white.

when i looked at pics of my mom in the 50's and 60's, i thought that's how everything looked back then. i didn't realize there was color.

she still gives me a hard time about this.

[Mrs. Overall]

117. Eating lilac buds would give magical powers

I went around the yard eating all sorts of flowers and leaves--I'm amazed I never became ill. I'm really paranoid about my own kids eating yard things and remind them of the dangers until they roll their eyes.

[MrsMatt]

119. the lightening during thunderstorms

was the flash from Jesus' camera.

[GhostThatWalks]

120. me and my sis were wierd

We used to fight over imaginary crayons.

[Blue-Jay]

121. You can avoid raindrops.

If you spin and run at the same time. If you got wet, you weren't spinning and running fast enough. In retrospect, my older brother was kind of a dick.

[St. Jarvitude]

123. I used to look inside my TV through the vents

I could swear that I could see the wee little men and women inside who would act out the shows when you turned it on.

[devilgrrl]

124. I thought everyone that was famous was from New York City.

Whether it was the President (Johnson or Nixon), TV stars, etc., everybody who was anybody was from New York City. So I always thought The Beatles were from New York. Imagine my surprise when I saw 'Hard Days Night' for the first time in '68, I was 4 at the time.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

126. I used to believe that statues had real dead people inside of them

Idiot.

[Forkboy]

127. That there was a God

[trackfan]

129. I didn't think people that worked in stores were actually real people..

I thought of them as some kind of automatons or something.

I thought (at the suggestion of my older brothers) that there were dinosaurs in our basement, and that I shouldn't go in there. This fear was "confirmed" by the fact that I actually "saw" one of the dinosaurs when I lookd in the basememt door. What I actually saw, and thought to be a dionsaur, was a steel device or rack on which one places a shoe to be shined.

[Pobeka]

130. We were at war with the "Michigans"

No kidding. Grew up in Indiana and when we played war as a kid we fought against the "Michigans". I remember driving up to Michigan to visit my grandmother, and I would literally hunker down in the seat as we drove by tall buildings because I was *sure* there where snipers in those buildings that would shoot at us.