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I just broke up with my girlfriend.

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IronLionZion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-15-08 02:29 PM
Original message
I just broke up with my girlfriend.
I've been trying for the past few days. Every time I say "We need to talk about our relationship" she starts going over our favorite memories so I chicken out. Why does this have to be so difficult?

Anyway, last night I told her I want to break up and still stay friends. And I really do care about her, but it's best if we don't have a romantic relationship anymore. It probably wasn't the best timing because she had just sent me a very beautiful love letter.

back story: We've been together more than a year but I moved away at the end of May so we've been trying the long-distance thing. I call her every night but she's very lonely and depressed and she misses the physical aspect of our relationship. I want her to be free to date or do whatever she needs to do without feeling obligated to wait for me. I'm going overseas in 2 days and will be there through the rest of Summer and won't be able to call her. I had to do it now because I don't want her sitting around waiting for me without even being able to talk to me. After that I'm going to grad school for 2 years so it doesn't seem feasible and I'm certain she's not the right girl for me. I guess there's no avoiding being a jerk in this case.

Anyway, she's trying to guilt-trip me for many things including for doing it over the phone and for not doing it much earlier. She's also trying to mess with my mind a bit and telling me I'm confused and don't really know what I'm saying. :eyes: Just now she called and agreed to break up. She wasn't sure about remaining friends and she's not happy with me at all.

I was feeling like I was staying with her mainly because I don't want to be alone. That's not a healthy relationship so this is for the best.

Just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-15-08 02:32 PM
Response to Original message
1. Isn't she a DUer? Or am I thinking of someone else.
Anyway, my condolences. I'm sorry things didn't work out. :hug:
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IronLionZion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-15-08 02:43 PM
Response to Reply #1
5. No, I've asked her to join but she hasn't. nt
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-15-08 02:32 PM
Response to Original message
2. That sucks
But yeah, when you realize they're "not the one," breaking up is the way to go. And it sounds like you've spent a lot of time thinking about it, and you've got her best interests in mind.

It's still rough though.
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IronLionZion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-15-08 02:45 PM
Response to Reply #2
6. yeah, i think so
thanks,
:grouphug:

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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-15-08 02:35 PM
Response to Original message
3. well, good luck
over the phone isn't the best way to do it, but at least you did it now rather than drag it out for longer.
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IronLionZion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-15-08 02:46 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. thanks
:hi:

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NewEnglandGirl Donating Member (602 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-15-08 02:35 PM
Response to Original message
4. The bottom line
is the part where you wrote, "I'm certain she is not the right one for me." Right there says that you are doing the right thing. It will be better for both of you. :hug:
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IronLionZion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-15-08 02:46 PM
Response to Reply #4
8. I think so
thanks
:hug:
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-15-08 02:50 PM
Response to Original message
9. She doesn't realize it yet... but this is certainly the right thing.
And there will, probably, come a time where she is grateful to you for it. :hug:
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IronLionZion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-15-08 02:55 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. Thanks
I think so.

:hug:

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