My daughter just destroyed her second cell phone since Christmas.

[jobycom]

The first one she had six weeks. One day after I told her to stop loaning it to her friends, she loaned it to a friend at a slumber party, and the friend decided to wash her jeans with the phone in the pocket. The $25 I paid a repairman to clean it didn't help. Nice little Nokia music phone, down the drain.

No new phone, I told her, until she learns to take care of things, so I gave her my old RAZR, which I had stopped using when I bought myself the same type of phone she destroyed. So two days ago she was running across my apartment complex because she was late, and the RAZR slipped out of her pocket, hit the pavement, and is now a sharp little paperweight. This happened two days after I bought her a $15 charger for the phone.

I'd take away her phone, but I need her to have it so I can call her. Sigh. Now I have to decide whether to buy her a used RAZR somewhere (It's GSM, so that part's easy), pay more money in the hopes that someone can fix the first phone (and lose the money if they can't) or give her my little phone, which I don't like anyway, and upgrade mine--something I was planning to do, anyway. Problem is, she'd get a better phone for destroying the second one, and that just feels wrong.

She's a good kid, she's just getting a bit careless with expensive stuff lately. Although, to be fair, she doesn't loan her phone out anymore, and the RAZR really was near its end, anyway. It had been dropped and dunked enough times that it's amazing it still worked.

Parenting. Who needs it?

[some guy]

1. ooh, that's too bad.

I'm glad I'm not a parent.

You should figure out a way to make her earn the phone by doing chores. Might help her to appreciate the value, if she had a better idea of the cost? :shrug:

[jobycom]

2. Good idea. I'm taking notes.

:)

[yellowdogintexas]

52. yeah, think back to when you were her age and what your parents would have done

and do that. You hated it, so will she. Lesson learned.


My daughter bought her own phone when she decided to upgrade from basic free phone, and she was paying me for the monthly $10 for the 2nd phone line which was hers, and all text messaging and minutes overages which were always hers. The solution? she called me from the phone store and asked if she could change her line to unlimited texting before she had them do it at the store. I said OK and she pays me for her phone.

When she moved to Arizona we had to change the plan anyway so she would not have roaming charges, and now we have mobile to mobile so we can talk whenever without touching our minutes, and she has unlimited texting on her phone and she pays me for her phone. It is very good. As a bonus, I can talk free to my sister in KY, her daughter a friend in Houston and anyone elses AT&T phone anywhere.

[jobycom]

71. You wouldn't say that if you knew my family.

I love my parents dearly, but most of my parenting decisions have been the opposite of what I thought they would do. :)

[texanwitch]

4. I agree.

If she has to pay for the next phone she might be a little more careful with it.

[Arkansas Granny]

47. That would be my advice, also. If she has to earn a new phone, she

might take better care of it.

[NV Whino]

3. Don't they have disposable phones?

Maybe I'm just imagining it, but I think they do. Might be the answer.

[jobycom]

6. It has to be one that works with T-Mobile. The contract is already in place.

That's why I'm thinking used. The problem is, I want to upgrade my phone--it just doesn't work for me. So if I buy her a cheap phone--say $40, or whatever, then upgrade mine, I've spent the cost of a new phone, plus the cost of her used phone, and I'll have a leftover phone. This is getting expensive!

To make it even more interesting, the phone I want most in the world just went on sale at CompUSA. It's still too much, but a lot closer to affordable than before, and at just the right time.

[NV Whino]

25. Check out T-Mobile's web site

I just got a refurbished BlackBerry for an $18 upgrade fee with no cost for the phone itself. (This was AT&T, but I bet they all do it.)

See if they have refurbished phones. Another thing to try is FreeCycle in your area. I belong in my area and there are always people offering or asking for phone with a particular type of service.

As far as an extra phone goes, donate it to your local women's shelter. They are always looking for phones to give to the women for emergencies. I take my used phones to my local phone store and the get them to the shelter.

[Gormy Cuss]

28. Buy her a cheap phone, Make her work for the value of your current phone before she gets it.

That way, you can upgrade your phone without rewarding her bad behavior and as a bonus, you'll have your current phone in reserve when the inevitable happens. :+

[Kali]

91. also see my reply below for yours

oh hell here is the link http://www.replaceyourcell.com/

I was happy with mine (long story why I had to do this) maybe they have what you want for a lower price.

[some guy]

5. two people agree with me?

I shoulda been a parent. :scared:



:rofl:

[jobycom]

7. Hey, it was a good idea. Sometimes it's harder to see the obvious as a parent.

I think of my daughter--this wonderful, sweet, open kid who stays off drugs, doesn't drink, lectures her rowdy friends on how much they are screwing up their lives, and tells me so much of what's going on her life that her friends complain that she tells me everything--and it's hard to want to punish her. I can't see it objectively.

[texanwitch]

8. I raised two teenage girls from 13 on up, and if they lost something they paid for a new one.

The girls learned to hard way the value of money.

They didn't go to the movies, or out with their friends because they didn't have the money to go.

[crimsonblue]

9. cellphone insurance

it's a stupid gimmick until you lose or break your phone.

[jobycom]

12. That is a personal objection that I've been rethinking lately...

[yellowdogintexas]

48. my daughter insured her razr phone and when it was stolen was glad she did

we had new phone in no time.

[Kali]

92. its ok for about 3 months then a used replacement is a better deal.

because the freaking deductible is 50 to 100!

[Maddy McCall]

10. Give the child your phone. She needs it to stay in touch with you.

Brush off the rest and upgrade to whichever phone you had intended to buy anyway.

My vote, anyway.

[jobycom]

14. How much did she pay you to vote that way?

:rofl:

I know that's what I'm going to do. But she's going to have to pay some penalty, to convince her to be more careful with the next phone. They weren't cheap phones.

[Maddy McCall]

18. Make her detail your car.

That's one of the things I make my kid do to earn his keep. :D

[JVS]

11. Take the money out of her allowance or savings.

[jobycom]

13. I'd just have to give it back to her at some other time

She really doesn't spend much. She's not into wardrobes and fashion accessories. Hates to shop. She doesn't have an allowance, and most of her spending money she earns herself babysitting for neighbors. Not enough to buy a cellphone, just enough to cover skating or a movie now and then.

[Maddy McCall]

19. You've got a good kid.

This is minor...I'd let it slide.

[jobycom]

21. Well

it is a slider phone. :) But I'm not rich enough anymore for this to be minor.

[Maddy McCall]

22. Well....

what I mean, I guess, is in picking your battles.

I was such a klutz when I was a teen...I was severely punished for stuff I couldn't help. I kinda feel for your daughter. :)

I know phones aren't cheap...and I would probably be very upset with my son if he broke his. I have told him, "If you break this phone, I pay the $200 to cancel your number. I WILL do it." He carries his phone around like it's a robin egg.

lol.

[Skittles]

15. I hate to sound so f***ing old but

parents are different these days :o

[jobycom]

16. Kids, parents, dogs, cats, and the whole world are different these days.

I fought cell phones for years after they had become normal, mostly because I've always disliked phones in general. I finally got one when I moved into an apartment and realized it would be easier than getting a land line and having to move it every time I did.

Now I can't see parenting without one. I think of all the grief me and my parents might have been saved if we'd only had cell phones back then.

[Skittles]

17. it's not having the cell phone I'm talking about

it's complaining that your daughter loses expensive things and you choose to replace them for her. My dad would have kicked my ass and made me buy my own. Hell, I would have had to buy the first one AND pay the cell phone bill.

[jobycom]

20. Haven't replaced anything yet.

The second phone was my old reject.

And the only way she could pay the cell phone would be if I gave her the money to pay it with. She'd just not carry one, and I'd be the one to suffer.

[Skittles]

23. like I said

things are different

[jobycom]

29. Alright, alright, I understand. I'll get off your lawn.

:rofl: :hi:

[yellowdogintexas]

49. yep, before she KICKS YOUR ASS!!!

(and she will, too)

[PeaceNikki]

41. Life is different these days. You can't just "kick kids' asses" like you used to.

Then we have to pay bail, court costs, fines, therapy, and on and on.

[jobycom]

56. That's if

they aren't packing heat!

[krispos42]

24. Get her one of hose old, first-generation phones

You know, the ones the size of a briefcase? With a handset and coiled cord on one end?


"If you keep this one three months, dear, I'll get you a MicroTAC flip phone!"

:rofl:

[jobycom]

30. Now THAT's clever! And she'd improve her arm strength and muscle tone, too!

[Whoa_Nelly]

26. Check you PMs

:hi:

[LSdemocrat]

27. Just get her a real basic phone, i.e. the type they'd normally give away for free to new customers

Those cheap phones would be much less attractive to her friends, likely more durable than a phone with cutting edge designs, and cheaper to replace.

Something like this:

http://www.t-mobile.com/shop/phones/Cell-Phone-Detail.aspx?cell-phone=Samsung-t219-Red

[NashVegas]

94. I Love My Samsung

I have an M310 - it's great for women with fingernails.

[Blue-Jay]

31. Buy her a pager. That'll drive her crazy.

[jobycom]

32. She's fifteen. She's just starting to hang out with boys. I want her to have a phone.

That's why a lot of the discipline issues won't work--this phone is more for me than for her.

[Blue-Jay]

36. Maybe there's an untapped market here...

How about a cell phone that you can program to accept ONLY phone calls from home? You could program them to only work to/from home and 911...

[Chan790]

45. They make those for small children

and they're cheap and indestructible for the most part.



This one is Verizon's model...but the service providers all offer one.

[Rabrrrrrr]

33. Tape some quarters to her bra and tell her to use a *(#&$ pay phone.

[jobycom]

72. They still make pay phones?

Haven't seen one in ages.

[Kali]

93. hardly see them any more and if so they are out of order

[Courtesy Flush]

34. You "need" her to have a phone?

Funny how quickly we forget that until recently no one had cell phones. Ask yourself: What would I have done raising a child in the 70's?... and do that.

[PeaceNikki]

42. K. And remind yourself that we're not IN the 70's.

G'head.

[jobycom]

73. Funny how until recently life expentency was 35. NEXT,

[Schema Thing]

79. kinda like we "need" airbags

it's not immoral to let your kid drive a car without airbags if you're broke...

but what about if you have plenty of money?


Simply put, safer is better, and it's safer for a kid to have a phone.

[truedelphi]

100. Whew. A relief to see at least one other "old school"

Person aboard the discussion.

You would think that the survival rate for anyone under the age of twenty not having as cell phone was zip.

People whine it all the time: "My kid wouldn't have a cell but I need them to have one so I can check on them."

[auntAgonist]

35. she's 15. Pick your battles. I agree with Maddy McCall on this one

upgrade yours, give her your old one. Give her another lecture (it won't do any good) if it makes you feel any better :)

aA

[ScreamingMeemie]

53. Agreed says the woman who has misplaced, thrown away, driven

over (on a bike on Mackinac Island) three sell phones and currently uses a ductaped one.

[Midlodemocrat]

59. I agree with Maddy and aA on this as well.

It's not that big of a deal in the grand scheme and with the dearth of payphones, how would she be able to call you if she needed to?

[jobycom]

76. Have you ever noticed how long my average posts are?

Darn right she's getting a lecture! :rofl:

[Reverend_Smitty]

37. Get her one of these

you can probably pick one up at the local antique store and they are damn near indestructible :P

some people are just really bad with phones. I've had my RAZR since April 06 and it looks factory new...my best friend has probably had a dozen phones in that same time span. In fact last Saturday she dropped one out of her pocket, off a 2nd floor balcony and into a puddle of water, and she had that phone for about 2 weeks (fortunately it still works but is a little bit chipped up). I just don't get it :shrug:

[kentauros]

85. Ah, a brick!

:P

Then again, here's a cellphone-mod for the older equivalent, and it makes a nice weapon, too, at about 2 pounds:





Not sure if SparkFun Electronics makes/offers a shoulderstrap for for their Port-O-Rotary, but it should fit in a large handbag or knapsack.

[LisaM]

38. Can't you let her go some period of time without one?

Just enough to inconvenience her - over a weekend, maybe - so she understands to take care of it?

Not at a time when you would normally call her. During the time she would be using it to call her friends or something.

[Flaxbee]

39. give her the phone - it is for your own peace of mind -

and set up some chores for her that she knows relate SPECIFICALLY to the cost of the phone she dropped. Things she doesn't normally do - clean the car, or do some ironing, or whatever. So that dropped or ruined phone = more work for her.

She's a kid, and kids are sometimes clumsy. That doesn't mean that she can't be reminded to THINK before she starts to run somewhere, or do something that could ruin a phone.

[applegrove]

40. I once threw a $300 cell phone out the window of the car I was driving. I was very upset and

didn't want to take the call that was ringing. Thankfully I still had my old cell phone.

[NC_Nurse]

43. My daughter dropped one in the toilet once.

She was in the tub and tried to reach over and answer it - sploosh! :o

[PeaceNikki]

44. I agree with the others who've said: If she's a good kid, suck it up and upgrade yours.

I've been in your EXACT position. The others who claim you should raise her like it's the 70's are wrong, IMHO. Cell phones are our ONLY phones and I wouldn't go more than a few days of not having one with my kid.

My kid went through a phase of going through them like socks. If you're eligible to upgrade, treat yourself to a fancy new one and give her yours. If you need to look elsewhere, ebay is a good place for phones outside contract upgrades. Believe me, I know.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

46. You know, jobycom, for most of human history, parents and children

kept in touch without cell phones.

Or didn't feel like they had to call each other every hour. I mean, what's with that? I've seen parents who seem to think that their kids will disappear into thin air if they don't check up on them every hour or so.

If my parents had done that to me, I would have thrown away the phone on purpose. (And I had REALLY strict parents, including a mother who phoned me every night after supper during my freshman year in college. In those days, everyone, including me, considered that weird and neurotic. I finally pleaded with my brothers, who were still at home, to ridicule her out of her obsessiveness.)

As long as you keep replacing the phone, she's going to think it's okay to be careless.

If she REALLY needs to call you (in an emergency) she can borrow someone else's cell phone.

[ScreamingMeemie]

51. And then a child loses his daddy, and is worried that if he can't

get a hold of you that something horrible might happen to you as well...


Nope, I won't let my son live in that world.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

62. You're in a special situation, but

you have to hope that eventually your son will get over his anxiety and won't feel the need for constant reassurance.

I wonder how kids in your son's situation coped before there were cell phones...

[ScreamingMeemie]

65. There are many many situations like my son's... so many we don't

get to pick and choose.

In answer to your wonder, isn't it wonderful that we don't have to let that happen anymore? No, I will not let my son live in that world. That world was not, as so many of us want to believe, better for lack of technology. This world is better in that he can be comforted at a moment's notice. That any child can be comforted instead of harmed.

[jobycom]

80. hey.

:hug: Thanks for putting my "problem" in perspective.

And for pointing out that just because we did thinks a certain way in the old days doesn't mean it was better. Now, I must go feed my horse and put away the buggy before it gets dark, or I won't be able to see the coyotes before they attack.

[truedelphi]

101. After your done chasing them coyotes

PM me - I still have some really cool plans for this one type of replacement phone.

You just need two orange juice cans and some string. And the way it works is...

Well, let's just say you won't need to worry abt who the daughter hangs out with - to keep the phone working she won't be able to be more than about 500 feet away.

[jobycom]

102. I don't know.

What's a can? Sounds awfully new and reckless to me...

[truedelphi]

104. Nah, cans have been around for a little while at least

And some folks claim they have this electric gizmo that can open them!!

[Rabrrrrrr]

58. seriously - I'm so glad I had parents who could go a few hours without talking to me.

I think they actually enjoyed the time without me, because they had adult pursuits to follow, and we trusted each other not to disappear forever, I suppose.

Helicopter parents. Too many of 'em nowadays.

I figure, I was able to go away to Boy Scout camp for a week with no phone when I was in fifth grade (as did millions of other kids), and my parents and I lived through that time of separation (and so did the millions of other kids and parents), they can do it today, too.

Our only real phone rule was "Call home if you're gonna be late". It was never "Let's call each other every hour and calm our ridiculous separation anxieties".

Hell, even when I'd go stay with grandma for two weeks in the summers, my parents never called and I never called them. We all lived through it, gosh and begorra, believe it or not.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

60. And if you look at actual crime statistics, not media-generated hysteria

child abductions are no more common now than they were back then.

[Rabrrrrrr]

63. No, they aren't. The threat is still far more from people the kid knows

than from strangers.

And seriously, what abductor wouldn't immediately look for and take away a phone, anyway?

[jobycom]

87. Interestingly enough, they just caught a child molestor right behind my apartment.

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=65538

I can see his rooftop from my balcony. My nine year old and I used to ride bikes past his house.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

96. There were child molesters when I was a kid, too

There was one guy who lurked in a nearby cemetery that kids sometimes walked across as a shortcut on their way to school. After one attempted rape of a schoolgirl, all the parents sternly warned us not to walk through the cemetery because "someone who likes to hurt children" was there.

Otherwise, we were warned not to go anywhere alone with another adult without parental permission.

[ScreamingMeemie]

66. I usually agree with you and would have...

once upon a time. I can't anymore. If my son needs to call me he'll call me. I had to take it to the school board and it was well worth it.

[Rabrrrrrr]

69. Yes, but your son (and you) have gone through some serious trauma

and it's a trauma that is related directly to separation issues. I can only imagine.

There's a point of making exceptions for times of duress and for specific reasons, such as yours and your son's. Hopefully we're all willing to make those exceptions when needed, as your school board was (even if it did take a fight to get it).

But hopefully, also, work is being done to relieve the anxiety and working toward a point when that safety line is no longer needed, whether for your son or for others.

I've done counseling (of a sort) with people, and sometimes have made the exception of allowing people to call me at home (or interrupt me at work) when they are under significant stressers/anxieties - but after a while, the privilege of calling at home (or interrupting me when I'm doing something else) is taken away and they must, like all people, call me only at the office during office hours and deal with their stuff on their own at other times. It's not a heartless thing, it's a teaching-them-to-be-healthy thing.

I think sending kids off to camps and other activities with a phone is, under normal circumstances, a needless and ultimately very unhelpful thing to do - part of growing up is learning to be out of touch with the safety zones and learning to grow beyond them and come to self-reliance.

I hope that in a year or so, your son will no longer feel that overwhelming need to speak with you immediately. After what you've all gone through, I'm not surprised that he feels a need for that phone link with you for now.

[BreweryYardRat]

70. Really? Lucky, lucky you.

Mine (even my dad, who is normally pretty good about not being a control freak) whine their little heads off if I don't call them every friggin' week while I'm at school.

My dearly beloved (major :sarcasm:) mother would even call the fucking RAs and have them knock on my door with reminders to call her.

[jobycom]

78. For most of human history kids had to walk all day to get to the other side of the village.

and I wouldn't care where my kid was because I'd know every one they could possibly speak to without being gone overnight.

But my life at this point in history is geared around us having phone contact at times, and what great great great granpa Jobycom did doesn't help me any. Well, I'm glad he got busy, if you know what I mean, but after that, what he did didn't affect me much.

[ScreamingMeemie]

50. Get her the one that lets her call you (and 20 other pregrogrammed numbers)

and you call her. They are encased in rubber and very hardy because they are for kids.

[yellowdogintexas]

54. I may be the weirdest person on the earth but I don't want a phone that also

handles my internet, banking etc. I just want to pick it up and answer it if it rings.

PHotos, meh, don't have to have that either. And I don't text either.

[ScreamingMeemie]

55. Then you have company.

Mine is just a basic phone. That's it... Well it is cracked now from running over it but it still works. Bonus. We turned off the internet and text messages after someone (no names because she posts here) ran up a $400 bill. Of course, not her fault.

[jobycom]

81. That's not weird. That's just not me.

:)

[LeftyMom]

57. Get thee to ebay. Order the ugliest old brick of a phone that is compatibile

Advantage 1: should cost almost nothing

Advantage 2: you're not rewarding her carelessness with cool new gear

Advantage 3: if she has to save up for an upgrade she'll appreciate it more.

[texanwitch]

64. Excellent idea.

All your daughter needs is a plain old cell phone until she can take proper care of a better one.

This way you can still contact her and her friends won't want to borrow it.

I am glad I grew up before cell phones, I liked my freedom.

I never would have called home.

Another time and place I quess.

[NewEnglandGirl]

61. I'm sure you want her to have a phone for

safety reasons. Maybe you can give her your phone, upgrade yours and then have her do some chores to help pay for the additional expense. This way you wouldn't feel like there were no lessons learned. Good luck.:) :hi:

[Common Sense Party]

67. "I need her to have it so I can call her"

"Need"? NEED?

No, you don't.

You WANT her to have it so you can call her.

Did you have a cell phone when you were a kid because your mother NEEDED to call you? How did kids and parents ever communicate before cell phones?

[jobycom]

82. You shouldn't say such things without knowing a person's history.

If we had had cell phones as kids, a lot of lives in my family might be better now. One might still even exist, and he doesn't now.

What is this anti-progress message on a liberal board? Just wiggy. :shrug:

[Common Sense Party]

88. Anti-progress? Look, just because a new technology emerges,

that DOESN'T mean that I and everybody in my family MUST go out and adopt it. Cell phones can be great tools, in the hands of someone responsible. They can also be dangerous traps in the hands of a teenager. Distracted driving. Porn. Outrageous charges (and subsequent bad credit) from text messaging. Texting rather than paying attention in class.

Cars are great, too, but my 13 year old doesn't need one.

[jobycom]

99. Doesn't make it Satan's tool, either.

I'm a single dad (though her mother and I split duties), any advantage I can get I'll take. I'm not going to run away from something just because I didn't have it when I was a kid. New is good. Cell phones, the Internet, MP3 players... Keep 'em coming. They can be abused, the way pocket knives and BB guns were abused when we were kids. They can also teach responsibility, just like BB guns and pocket knives.

And porn? On a cell phone? Why would she need that when she's got the Internet?

If anything, the cell phone is better than the Internet. I can see who she's talking to, when, for how long, and how often. I can check from work to see who she's talking to at home. And she's not allowed to text, just because I don't want to pay for it. I can check if she's texting in class, or anywhere, with a mouse click (and do).

The thing's taught her responsibility more than anything else I can think of. Kids, people, don't learn responsibility by churning out birthdays, they learn it by practicing it, being forced to show it. She limits herself according to my rules, I can verify easily, and I have something I can take away from her if I need to. It's happened twice, IIRC. And I need her to have it. I don't have a landline in my home, so when she's here I can't contact her, and she couldn't contact anyone if she didn't have it. She also watches her nine year old sister when school's out and I'm at work, so she needs to be able to call me. That's a lot of responsibility for a fifteen year old, the phone is about the only reward she gets for it, aside from an old computer I pieced together from abandoned parts at work.

And yeah, "needs." Not in the way we need water and food, but in the sense that my life is arranged such that it would cost me time, money, energy, and worry if she didn't have it.

[tigereye]

97. ny son has a cell phone, but he always forgets to turn on the ringer

:rofl:


I tell him, it's kinda pointless to have one IF YOU CAN"T HEAR IT RINGING!"


I do think the phone decreases parental anxiety some, is seen as a teen "must have", and makes it easier to know where said teens are.



If he broke or lost it, he probably wouldn't get another one right away. I suppose the OP could make her daughter pay her for the phones that were ruined -that gives some sense of responsibility...

[jobycom]

98. Not that I'm sensitive, but the OP is a him, not a her.

She used to leave the ringer off or just forget to take it. So I took it away from her for a week, to "make her miss it," I told her. She doesn't forget it anymore. :)

[tigereye]

107. whoops!

point taken.

:)

[Love Bug]

68. I don't want you to feel like I'm piling on you jobycom but

you aren't doing her any favors by replacing the stuff she breaks without any consequences, no matter what it is or how cheap it is.

She does not NEED a cellphone. Few people truly do. You told her to be more careful and she wasn't. You told her to not loan out her phone and she did it anyway. If you are concerned about needing to get in contact with her because she is starting to hang out with boys, then she can borrow their cellphones and call you. Or better yet, get their phone number before you let them take your daughter out.

She sounds like a good kid but she's playing you because you let her get away with it. Yeah, as parents we all need to pick our battles, but she is disrespecting you and your wallet and if she'll do it on a small thing, what's to stop her from doing it on a big thing like the fmaily car when she gets her licence? What excuse is she going to have when she lets a friend drive the car when you told her not to and there is an accident?

You can tell me to go to hell if you want to, but I've been there, done that with a teenager and have the grey hair to show for it.

[jobycom]

83. Well I ain't got no hair, but my beard is getting a bit grey.

I won't tell you to go to hell, you didn't say anything remotely rude or offensive. But I will say you're talking about someone else's situation. She broke one phone by loaning it out. I gave her a piece of junk phone I'd stopped using, that was not close to what she had before. She never loaned it out again, so lesson learned. She broke this one by being careless, but it wasn't completely her fault--her mother witnessed it. She had it in her pocket, her mother told her to run, she ran, and it fell out while she was running. I had dropped the darned thing more before she got it than she did after she got it.

And I haven't said there wouldn't be consequences. I'm just discussing what consequences there will be. If I come down with the wrath of jobycom on her because she's lost weight since she bought these pants (at the beginning of last school year, for that matter) so that her pockets are looser, what's that going to teach her? Dad is irrational? The world sucks? Life isn't fair? She gets those messages every day without me having to give them to her (even the "dad is irrational" one).

I want to teach her to be more careful and to understand the value of things, but I don't want to teach her that making an effort to be more responsible, as she did after the first drop, is all in vain. I'm trying to find an appropriate way to do that. She's the responsible one in her group, the one all the other parents want their kids to hang out with because they know they'll be safer that way. She doesn't need major corrections, she just needs to learn a lesson.

[madeline_con]

74. Get her a cheap pay as you go phone. n/t

[Critters2]

75. Can you get a new daughter?

Or are you locked into a contract? :hide:

[jobycom]

84. Hehe.

I wouldn't trade this one for anything in the world. :)

Heck, some DUers might even remember her from earlier posts. I used to post once a week about something she'd done, and rarely negative.

[Schema Thing]

77. I bought my daughter a 10.00 phone off of ebay

I got an extra (the battery on one of them would not stay on, but it was a good battery.


It's a plain jane phone, but it works fine, and has text.

This was after I'd gotten her a nice Hollywood/motorola phone from AMPed mobile. They went out of business after about 6 months . ggrrrrr!!!


I bought her air time with Page Plus, and now she buys her own.

I'm proud to say that now that she is working, she's not looking to upgrade. She has a practical side that is unusual for a 16 year old.

[jobycom]

86. Well, thanks, all! I have reached a decision. I must say

that I did not expect so many replies, and that every one was helpful, although some revealed a tad more about childhoods of certain posters than I think they realized... :rofl: And all of you have helped me better understand my predicament and my teen, and clarified my thinking. Thanks, all, for that.

So she's getting a basic phone from a very cheap source, though she will be phoneless until I need her to have a phone (and since I live in an apartment without a phone, and she's home alone while I'm at work, yes, I need her to have a phone). I'm getting the cool phone I've been saving for for months now, for reasons I'm old enough not to have to explain, but that involve both work and fun. And I will develop a series of projects through which she can earn my old phone. They won't be harsh, just attention-earning.

She's a good kid, and along with being a good kid comes a certain amount of trust between us, and that trust has to be maintained on both ends. Too strong a reaction for the infraction and I've broken the trust, and that won't teach her anything that will make her life better. Too weak, and she doesn't learn what she needs.

Thanks again!

[Kali]

95. ...

:thumbsup:

sounds like a good kid.

[sasquatch]

103. Teenagers and cellphones are the newest cornflake breading

[jobycom]

105. I have tried to make it so.

[auntAgonist]

106. ...............

:applause:

[grasswire]

89. here's my vote...

....and there's a 15-year-old in my house who is on her second phone (first one was dropped many times, run through the washer several times, lost, found, yada). The amount of time this kid spends on her new phone with its extra features (someone else got it for her) would be an incentive to hope it gets lost or stolen or broken.

She's not careful with "toys" either. Her $200+ i-pod (from birthday gift money) got stepped on in her bedroom junk and isn't working.

My suggestion would be to might give your daughter your old phone but tell her that she can only use it when she's out of the house away from home for a long period of time, to check in with you. No sitting at home sending pics of herself to her pals, no texting from everywhere, no triple tasking with phone, computer and house phone. Just a safety device. Reviewable after six months.

[Kali]

90. without reading the other replies yet...

http://www.replaceyourcell.com/

I have been very happy with mine.

[bigwillq]

108. I've ruined many, many phones.

And I am a heck of a lot older than her.

Yes, she needs to be careful and responsible with "expensive" stuff.

But it seems like she needs to have a phone no matter how harsh she treats it.
I say make her pay for the new phones either by getting a job (babysitting, work for the city...etc...) or by helping you around the house.

See if that works.

[Xithras]

109. Do what I did. Buy her a Firefly.

Cheesiest phone ever. My kids hate the thing, but I require them to carry a cellphone when they're out with their friends (both my 14 year old and my 11 year old). Both of them worked hard (and quickly) to make enough money to buy another phone off Ebay and swap out their sim cards. They both know, of course, that breaking or losing their cellphones means a return to using the dreaded Firefly.

I don't know if it's the thought of having to re-earn the money to buy another phone, or the even more horrible thought of using a neon-blue Firefly, but they are both very careful with their phones.