She Who Took My Virginity sent me the 'untimely deaths' e-mail

[Oeditpus Rex]

Y'know, the one that's going around again about all the people who died after they "mocked god," like John Lennon. She said it might "enlighten" me.

Here's my reply:


I assume that by "enlighten" you mean to "the way and the light and the truth" or something along those lines. But what I see here is your apparent belief in a deity that seems to thrive on killing those who don't agree with it, much like a despotic ruler. I also see you and others using this e-mail (it's making the rounds again) as a scare tactic, complete with big, bold letters, to bring people to your god. But I'd ask you, why would I want to worship a deity whose followers use the fear of death as the impetus for "salvation"?


What is it with the fundies? Why are they always trying to "fix" us?

[Danger Mouse]

1. Fundie-created chain-mails spread like roaches without all of the charm.

[flvegan]

2. Makes me glad I'm still a virgin.

I haven't gotten that one, thankfully.

[RevolutionaryActs]

3. I'm not sure.

My answer is always... if I want to be "saved" I'll come find you, 'kay?

[Arugula Latte]

4. Makes me glad I'm still an atheist.

[Robeson]

5. You actually keep in touch with the first person you ever...

...well, uh, made happy-times with? You get an AA++ for commitment.

[Oeditpus Rex]

8. Not exactly

She found me a year or so ago on Classmates. At the time, I didn't know she was One Of Them and I gave her the link to my MySpace page, where she saw that I'm an atheist and said "YOU DON'T MEAN THAT, DO YOU?" (She always types in all caps.)

She's since e-mailed me a few times trying to "save" me, but until today it'd been several months since her last attempt. (I've forgotten what was in that one, but I remember shredding its premise and she replying with the "Opinions are like assholes" bit.)

[Robeson]

10. Wow, she sounds like a serious fundie. In retrospect, aren't you glad it was just a ...

...f*ck!

[Oeditpus Rex]

11. It wasn't

We were engaged. But that was 33 years ago.



She dumped me in late 1975 because she decided lust was sinful.

[Robeson]

12. Whoa!....

...now THAT is intense...:scared:

[Kali]

20. eewwww I had one of those back in the day

neurotic asshole didn't mind the good times between us but let him sit and think for a minute about the fact that I was his first but he wasn't mine, PLUS the fact that I was godless....oh yeah fun times.

prolly lucky I got out of that without serious injury.

[Kutjara]

6. I really don't think they give a crap about "fixing" anyone.

All they're doing is collecting "frequent saver" points, which they presumably believe will get them a first class ticket on the Heaven Express come Judgment Day. They're not doing it for anyone else but themselves. Don't believe for a second that there's a scrap of even misdirected altruism in the fundie soul. You're just another potential point on their celestial scorecard.

[redwitch]

7. Because they are totally missing the point.

And when they get raptured I'm taking all their stuff!

[Lyric]

9. They don't understand.

And they never will.

:loveya:

[Withywindle]

13. Spirituality really is just a protection racket with these people, isn't it?

"Nice soul ya got there. Be a shame if something happened to it."

[Oeditpus Rex]

16. 'Fires and brimstone 'appen, Colonel'

"Souls burn."

[elshiva]

17. How many tanks ya got in this army?

Stop that. It's silly.

[Oeditpus Rex]

21. Jesus Tanks — about 500 altogether

[elshiva]

22. Remember when the nuns changed the Army Recruitment sign

to Mary?

[Oeditpus Rex]

23. SHOVE OFF!

:rofl:

[elshiva]

24. Thank you for that.

:hug:

[Oeditpus Rex]

26. Weird, though

Until you mentioned it, I never got that the nuns changed the sign. I figured it was just put up wrong and the Colonel had a vision of sorts and went out and fixed it.

:shrug:





I forget my name for the moment, but I am a merchant banker.

[elshiva]

27. We could do with someone like you to feed the

pantomime horse.

Oh pantomime horse, that was wonderful.

[ThomCat]

14. Nice response.

If I hadn't already learned a lot about christianity and rejected it in all of it's various flavors, an e-mail like that would make me much Less interested in checking out her religion instead of more.

[Oeditpus Rex]

18. Exactly — and I don't understand why they don't see that

It's not unlike an invitation to join the Mafia or something: If you don't, we'll kill you.

:shrug:

[LibDemAlways]

15. People who think that way have a screw or two loose.

I know an awful lot of conventionally religious young people who would never have thought of mocking God who died untimely deaths. I suppose your fundie friend would find a way to rationalize that as well. "It was God's will," is an often used chestnut for explaining away the death of one of the "good" ones.

I guess in her world, everyone is potentially in a lose-lose situation.

[Connonym]

29. I'm reading Lewis Black's new book "Me of Little Faith"

and he discusses this whole way of thinking -- if god has blessed a team by making them win or by curing someone of cancer does that mean that he cursed the losing team and the people who didn't recover from cancer? Even if there is a god I can't believe there's a direct correlation between how good you are and the things that happen to you. Good,honest, loving people die of cancer every day. Sleazy ministers fleece their flock to fill their own pockets every day.

I got the same fucking email Oedi mentioned from my mom the other day. I just rolled my eyes and hit delete. I've given up on trying to have a rational discussion of anything religious with her.

[briv1016]

19. It's better then the "I have an STD e-mail."

[Lyric]

25. I'm sorry,,,

If you know who to battle with...

:loveya:

If you don't, well...

:cry:

[Connonym]

28. Hitmen for Jesus, it's all the new rage

they even have a bracelet WWJH (who would Jesus hit?)

[Oeditpus Rex]

30. Teh Google produces this:

:D