Chicago DUers: I got a job. Um, yay.

[RandomKoolzip]

Whoopty-shit is more like it. After moving here to Chicago four weeks ago, I finally secured myself a real job: sous chef at The Hopleaf, a Belgian restaurant in Andersonville.

However, after trying out (unpaid labor - there's the American Dream for ya!) at a few other restaurants and having been thrust into a deep depressing well of ill will as a result, I now have a steely reserve to quit the food service racket entire and return to college. I NEED a degree. I'm tired of this shit, really. I want to work using my brain, not my hands. UIC looks very tempting, but they say on their website that you need to live in Ill Annoys for a year before you're considered a resident, and non-residency tuition is a little harsh on the pocketbook, even with financial aid. Is there some way of getting around this residency rule, or do I really have to wait a full year?

Jeezus, I wish I could make a living as a musician.


PS: for all Chicagoans: Oh, and if you have a conscience, DO NOT eat at DeLeece, a restaurant on Southport....I tried out there and was severely verbally abused by the chef. She is a ball-breaking bitch and treats ALL of her employees and all food distributors with a feral contempt verging on the ridiculous. Please don't support this woman's cruel treatment of her underpaid staff. (Thank you.)

[greatauntoftriplets]

1. Congrats, RKZ!!!

I've driven past there -- live a couple miles further north. Didn't quite know it was Belgian -- have relative in Brussels.

Dunno about the residency rule, but I think there are ways to track it -- i.e., drivers license, voters registration, license plates. Sorry about that!

Never heard of DeLeece and will avoid it.

Still hope to see you on 3/7!

:hi: :beer:

[RandomKoolzip]

2. Danke Schoen.

Yes, I guess I feel a little more at ease here now, but....oh, you just would not believe some of the sh*zznit I've seen in the last few weeks.

Oh, and one of the first things I did when I got here is register to vote- getting Bush out of DC and into Joliet is STILL my #1 priority! (I hope this helps me establish residency quicker....)


See ya soon!

[XNASA]

3. Fantastique!

So you're gonna be a waffle maker, huh?

Sorry, I've just never heard much about Belgian cuisine. I'm guessing it's kinda French with an accent on seafood?

Congratulations! And get working on that endive......

[RandomKoolzip]

6. Well, Belgian cooking obviously involves slime....

I said this to the chef my first night and he cracked up...It's true, everything we serve is covered in a thin film of slime. There's Rabbit leg, Duck leg, Trout, Frites, endives.....there's only 14 menu items. Interesting place. Slimy. Sorta like French cuisine, but more oddly carnivorous.

[never cry wolf]

11. When I studied for a year in france

They told this joke about the Belgians.

Q: How do you drive a belgian crazy?

A: Put him in a round room and tell him there is a pomme frite in the corner.

[greatauntoftriplets]

10. Belgium is famous for pommes frites.

What we incorrectly call French fries (or, as some do: freedom fries).

In reality, Belgian food is excellent. Sort of a heartier version of French.

[Thtwudbeme]

4. Yeah, as a matter of fact I DO know a way around it

What state are you from?

Stephanie

[RandomKoolzip]

8. Well, I just moved to Illinois from Tennessee...

And I don't want to do anything illegal. I just want to go to college as a resident of the state of Illinois, because the fees are less.

[Thtwudbeme]

24. Check your inbox

I would never suggest anything illegal.

I am studying for the ministry for Christ's sake! :)

[Slice]

5. Congrats

Sorry about the residency rule, but I think that they have it in place to protect the residents of that state. In-state college tuition is too much for a lot of people, what with the economy and all, and that's why the have the rule I guess.

Good luck to ya.

[RandomKoolzip]

14. Yup, anything to make getting by harder for the poor.

I swear, this class warfare waged from the top of the pile has gotta stop. I keep getting my bootstraps stolen before I can pull 'em up!

Thank ya....

[Slice]

26. No prob

I don't think it's to make getting by harder for the poor. The different tuition rates are to help the poor residents of the state in which the public university is located. It's unfair to have out of staters paying the same rate. That's why every state has their own public university system.

[never cry wolf]

7. Hey RKZ

UIC alum here, Harvard on Halsted (heh,heh). Sorry about the residency rule. Have you checked out any of the community colleges? I would think their rules may be a bit easier, probably cheaper too. You can always transfer later to finish up.

Sounds like you already have some hours under your belt but I am sure that you could find some courses that would apply.

[RandomKoolzip]

12. What was UIC like?

See, I looked at Daley college, Harold Wash. college, and a few other City Colleges, but I plan on getting in as a transfer student (I had thee years of college when I lived in New Orleans), and finishing up my Bachelor's degree in English. At those city colleges, I'd be getting an Associate's degree. And B beats A on any resume.

UIC looks perfect, if I can just stay here a year and muddle through this food service crizznap....

[never cry wolf]

23. I graduated 20 years ago

Architecture, so I don't know that much about the English dept. Frankly, I didn't care for the school that much. Academically it was very good but at that time it was strictly a commuter school and I found very little sense of community or school spirit, personally anyway. There are dorms now. It is a very diverse student body, not just a bunch of white suburban kids. A larger age range than most schools as well I suppose. I had transferred from Northern Illinois, living on campus with HS buddies to taking the train downtown and living back at home, so the social scene WAS a letdown.

Like I said, from an academic standpoint it is very good and I found that most of my profs had alot of practical experience with their own practices, not ivory tower teachers away from the front lines. Check out Fontano's deli just west of campus and order the Italian Special Sub, it's to DIE for!!

[RandomKoolzip]

28. Sounds good!

I checked out Daley College, and they don't even HAVE an English department! Savages. And the hassle involved geting from Lakeview to Daley is Sisyphian at best. It involves three seperate forms of public transportation, and I can't even guarantee I'll be prosperous enough to have bus fare everyday.

Plus, UIC has work-study programs AND a Linguistics Minor option (Linguistics is my true love).

[greatauntoftriplets]

15. Good question.

Do they serve Chimay?

[madrchsod]

9. deleece sounds

to furin for me...i don`t know about the res.thing-call them up or go down there and find out. my son registered there,the tuition was a sticker shock! see ya later...check on Harper College,devry and uic recommends going there to get credits cheaper to get into some programs. my son had to take a couple of classes to get into the uic nursing program to further his paramedic licence

[Whitacre D_WI]

13. So.

Will there be Belgian beer (courtesy of your wonderful employer) at the housewarming party?

[RandomKoolzip]

17. Belgian "bier," as white as the driven snow...

but some of us will be driven in other ways, if you know what I mean!

No, mostly wine, to answer your query seriously. My splendid wife is a total wino. In fact, she lives in a cardboard refrigerator box out by the city dump.

[greatauntoftriplets]

18. Will we get to meet her?

Sounds like my kind of woman.

[RandomKoolzip]

21. If you can tolerate her halo of flies and incontinence, yes.

No, I keed. Yes, she'll be around and about. Just keep her away from the Merlot, and you'll have a charming new friend.

[Whitacre D_WI]

20. Helps keep the rent low.

[eyesroll]

16. Some schools waive the residency requirement

if you move here for work (or that of your spouse, or, if you're still a dependent, your parents).

Did you move to Chicago for Mrs. KoolZip's work?

[RandomKoolzip]

19. Yes, I did. How did you know?

Man, do I blab my mouth off, or what?! Yep, she had a job here, and I moved after she was already established. I moved here to be with her....I could tell 'em that I moved here because of HER work. However, I doubt that I can seriously tell UIC that I moved here to be yelled at by chefs, which is what MY work has consisted of lately.

[Whitacre D_WI]

22. Well, she IS Mrs. Whitacre, after all.

And I sure as hell can't keep my damn fool mouth shut ('tis the curse of being a "singer").

[RandomKoolzip]

25. Wait a...you mean...Eyesroll is...And Whitacre is...And you are...

I had no idea. That's great! Congrats to both of you!

By the way, did I mention that the party on the 28th will be a "Hat Party," and that at the end, there'll be a prize given out for "Grandest of All?" Bon Chapeaus, mon ami!

[Whitacre D_WI]

27. Congrats? That we haven't killed each other over the past 11 years?

You and she can bond over your Gainsbourg-obsessed spouses.

[RandomKoolzip]

29. 11 years! Holy matrimony!

Thass a long time.

Yeah, you and _____ can just go in the other room and listen to Serge, while the rest of us gorge on Goldfish and Triscuits to the strains of Big Youth....

[Whitacre D_WI]

31. Well, we only been hitched since '98.

We was just sinful fornicators before that.

[RandomKoolzip]

34. Listen, I like you. And I don't want to offend you, but...

You know you're going to Hell and that your souls are damned to an eternity of fire and pain and bad hair days and "Caroline in the City" reruns and endless suffering for your sins before Chrahst, right? Just checking.

[Whitacre D_WI]

37. Does that mean Lea Thompson is Satan?

Or is she just a minor demon?

I mean, I've known she was evil ever since "Some Kind of Wonderful," but HOW evil?

[greatauntoftriplets]

30. Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin?

Oh my tender ears!!!!

[Whitacre D_WI]

32. L'amour physique est sans issue.

[greatauntoftriplets]

33. Serge does absolutely nothing for me.

Neither does Jane, for that matter.

[RandomKoolzip]

35. Me neither, but Mrs. Koolzip has dozens of his records and is goofy

over the old French perv. I can't stand him, but she loooooooves the dude. So she tortures me with her Gainsbourg, and I torture her with my Zappa...so it all works out!

[greatauntoftriplets]

36. So she likes the heavy breathing thing????

Lordy!

[Whitacre D_WI]

38. Oh, come on now!

Serge had an incredibly prolific career, over 30 years long. It's more than just one song!


And Jane was just yummy yummy!

[greatauntoftriplets]

39. What other songs???

:shrug:

Only one he is known for, LOL. I don't find women yummy.

On edit: Not that kind of girl, er, woman.

[Whitacre D_WI]

40. Only one he is known for outside of France.

"Histoire de Melody Nelson" is one of the finest albums ever made.

[RandomKoolzip]

43. The BAND'S performance is awesome on that record, but...

The melodies were neglible at best, annoying at worst, the singing strained and uncommunicative, and the songwiting was Euro-kitsch piffle. The band played great, I agree.

[RandomKoolzip]

41. Jane Birkin was hot. I agree on that.

But let's not delude oursevles into thinking she was a MUSICIAN here. She was a fashion model who happened to look good on album covers, and occasionally her sexual partner would place her before a microphone and some anonymous Euro-session hacks, but really....There was no musical talent at work (Mrs. Koolzip has some Birkin solo albums and THEY ARE DREADFUL, the absolute bottom of the kitsch barrel.).


I still stand by my assessmant that the whole Gainsbourg-Birkin phenomenon is a product of Post-Sonic Youth hipper-than-thou ironic kitsch appreciation gone horribly wrong. (Lee Hazlewood, too.) If Gainsbourg had an ounce of soul or musical imagination (I'm not talking about his backing bands, who were often average-or-above) in his body, I've yet to hear it. And propositioning Whitney Houston on Live TV doesn't make somebody a great musician.

Having said that, I'll admit that "Bonnie and Clyde" is a great song.

[Whitacre D_WI]

42. "Un Poison Violent, c'est ca l'Amour."

Now that's a great song.

[RandomKoolzip]

45. "Harley David Son of a Bitch..."

Great title, but as a song....jeez, if this dude were American, all those hipsters out there would rate him as one of the lamest musicians ever. His Europeanness gives him an aura of Exotic Otherness that hipsters can point to when accused of mere ironic fandom. Strip away that Euopeanness, and you've got Jim Nabors's Franch half-brother. Or maybe Leonard Cohen's, same thing really.

[Whitacre D_WI]

46. No fair.

That song is from "Love on the Beat."

All of Serge's '80s output was crap. Okay, "Lemon Incest" would've been good without those horrendous male backing vocals -- he and Charlotte were great.

I don't really like anything after the first reggae album. And I don't like half of it. But from his first EP through "Vu de l'Exterieur," he was always A-1!

[RandomKoolzip]

53. Sly and Robbie: you can't MAKE a bad album with them...

unless, of course, you're a priapic Galoise-smoker of Gallic extraction.....

[RandomKoolzip]

56. Whit? you still here?

Sorry if I harshed your gig, dude. I'm just playin', you know....

Say what you like about any of my favorite bands, and take some potshots. I'll give you a list of the more embarrassing parts of my collection:

The Dead
Hall and Oates
Everclear
Jeff Airplane
SWA


go ahead, I can take it!

[Whitacre D_WI]

64. Nah, I just left.

T.V. is on the other side of the computer, and it was starting to annoy me, so I just went to sleep.

Why the hell would I dis Hall & Oates or the Airplane (the Starship being another matter entirely, of course)? And SWA had its moments....

Everclear and the Dead, on the other hand... Everclear and the Dead.

To be honest I don't know much about Everclear other than the fact that I change the channel if they come on the radio. And whenever a really suck-ass song comes on the radio, I say "is this Everclear?"

The Dead. Well, shit. Jerry probably could've put together a decent bluegrass band. And Pigpen could've put together a decent R&B band. Problem was, they ended up in the SAME band, and began work with the World's Shittiest Lyricist Ever(TM).

Sorry I can't come up with better slams, it's early in the morning. Perhaps I should brew me up a cuppa.

[Whitacre D_WI]

63. ARRRGH! GITANES! Serge smoked GITANES!

"Aux Armes Et Caetera" had the single best reggae band ever assembled. If the singer on that record could sing reggae, it would have been incredible.

As it was, 'twas still better than "Double Nickles on the Dime," the most overrated Minutemen album ever.

That's right, boyeee. Bring it.

[Beaker]

44. what kind of a degree do you want...?

what kind of credits do you currently have towards a degree? and whereabout in chicago are you...?
(there are other affordable school choices around.

[RandomKoolzip]

48. English. Linguistics, if possible.

You wouldn't know it from my post-illiterate posts, but I once was a promising Linguistics student (3.5 GPA for six semesters! Dean's List for five semesters! Pieces published by Simon and Schuster and Houghton-Mifflin textbooks as classic examples of "how to write an essay!" I used to be a Rock Critic FOR A LIVING, not as a hobby! No, I'm not kidding! Now, look at how I write THESE DAYS...sheesh....) who could play the English Language like yo mama plays the marimba. UIC has a Linguistics program, whereas almost alll the other affordable colleges in Chicagoland do nought.

I'm in the Lakeview area, BTW. And I gots me about 30 hours of credits under my scarlet tunic.

[Thtwudbeme]

50. AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

an ENGLISH major!

I KNEW I liked you! OK, want me to look some more for you?

(or do you want me to admit that I am drinking too much and slowly...get...my...fingers...off....the....keyboard.....which is what Skinner wants)

[RandomKoolzip]

52. Woah...deep breaths...count to ten....

Uh, thanks for the offer (really, that was great idea and I'm gonna follow up on it) but I've got the night off here and while the wife is snoring in the other room (and she's not even asleep...how does she do it?!?) I got some time to do research....that is, If *I* can pry myself off DU for a cotton-pickin half-hour or more. It's gonna be tough, since me and Whitacre are in a no-holds-barred cage match over Serge Gainsbourg and I LIVE for stuff like that.....

Thank you, though! You rock like a tropical depression!

[Beaker]

55. Northeastern Illinois University has an English program, no linguistics-

but considering where you're living and now working, it might be a little more convienent...it's between Foster & Bryn Mawr, about 3500 west.

BTW- if you haven't picked up on it, get used to using the N/E/S/W address numbers for finding places- Chicago has a pretty easy grid system...for instance, we live 5200 north, and 3300 west, over by Foster & Kedzie(get used to "over by", too...)

[RandomKoolzip]

58. It's tough...

People here just always seem to know where they are and which direction their noses are pointing at any given time. It'll be a while before I can speak "Chicagoan," but I'm slowly getting immersed in the lingo. I'm used to Nashville's "map on a dartboard" system of city planning.

[xray s]

47. Hi RandomKoolzip

(edit-its 89.3FM)

Make sure you check out WNUR tomorrow at 9am. 89.3FM out of NU in Evanston. Best stuff on the air. They are going to interview Noam Chomsky and Greg Palast tomorrow.

http://www.thisishell.net/

Good luck with UIC. I am an alumn ('79, it was UICC back then)
:hi:

[RandomKoolzip]

54. Another heads up!

Thanks, xray. Will check it out. Bagels, OJ, and Chomsky. Sounds like my kinda raging leftist breakfast.

[prolesunited]

49. Glad you landed a job!

Congratulations! :toast:

I'll know early next week if I'm going to make it and I'll let you know. With so many musicians in the house, what do you think the chances of you all banging a few things out together are?

If not next week, I'll see you on the 7th. :hi:

[RandomKoolzip]

51. Well, if we wanted to be kicked out our wonderful apt.

we COULD break out the drums and guits and amps for a big sexy hoedown, but something tells me we're going to stick to my li'l bookshelf stereo and collection of disco records for musical entertainment.


But if anybody has a band who need a drummer, PLEEEASE let me know. I'm dyin' to bash the skins again....

See y'all soon!

[prolesunited]

57. Well, I guess that wouldn't

be a very good housewarming present — to get you kicked out. ;-)

Maybe sometime XNASA would be willing to offer up his basement. Have you checked with him about a drumming gig? He's got lots of friends in the biz.

[RandomKoolzip]

59. Hmmmm.....reeeeaaalyyy.

Hey, XNASA....what's happnin'?

Like I said, EVERYBODY is invited to the Housewarming party. Just don't play the drums! (And stay away from my vintage Sheets of LSD collection).

[Susang]

60. Hey RKZ

I know a couple of people who work at Hopleaf; you deserve better than to be working as a sous chef serving glorified bar food, as good it might be.

I'm sorry I haven't been much help in your job search, I've been having a bad couple of weeks and haven't been much help to myself, much less anybody else. Hopefully, after I meet you in person, I'll be able to set you up with some of my friend in the biz. All the favors I've done for people over the years have got to be good for something! Can't wait for your party next week. :-)

[RandomKoolzip]

61. No problem!

Who do yoy know who works there? I've only worked one day so far. My next night is Tuesday. And...this is the most pathetic....I might not even get the "sous chef" position; I'm in competition with another new guy. (Frankly, I'd rather be just the line cook. That would give me a chance to go to school during the day, or indulge in a part time job at a place that'll give me insurance, like Starbuck's or something....) So I'll be okay for a while...it's just my ambition NOW is to go back to school before I lose a finger or get salmonella.

And hey...don't worry about helping me, because just by being a nice person and giving me some very kind words, you made me feel better. So thank you for that. Take care of yourself and make sure your own needs are met before you try to help out a complete stranger. All right? Okay. Next on Dr. Phil, we'll meet Steve, who says he doesn't enjoy sex anymore. We'll be right back.

(cue music)


Tee hee. See you soon!

[Susang]

62. One of the people I work with works there

She bartends on Wednesday nights. Her husband works the door on Friday nights and her step-mother bartends there quite a few nights. It's quite incestuous there.

There's more to it than that, but it's not really something I'm comfortable putting into print (not that any of those people would even dream of reading this website). I'll fill you in on all of the gory details next weekend. Don't forget to PM me with party details!

BTW, I heard you mention that you were a musician. Did you know my husband (mkuhl/akaBatBoy)works at Guitar Center?