|
Just got these in my email:
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
One US leader.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.
What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians
in a room
together?
100 people who don't do dick.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of
marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no
intention of driving.
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third
grade.Who has the
biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the Polish girl say when she found out she was
pregnant?
Are you sure it's mine?"
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always unde! r a buck.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the
car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
What's the Cuban National Anthem?
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter
than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying
at half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern
zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front
of the cage
along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet l! ittle 80-year-old lady to say the
F... word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a
southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern
fairytale begins
"Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one is tall enough for the good rides.
|
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
