I am a miserable human being...

[From The Ashes]

...yes I am. Not in the 'politician X is a miserable human being' context, I grant you but still.

Here's the thing. My brief foray into dating has awakened a lot of feelings that I have, in the years of my marriage, managed to wall off in order to protect myself. It hurts, and nobody seems to understand, least of all me.

How do I get this all back under control again? I don't want to hurt anymore.

;( :cry:

[Danger Mouse]

1. I wish I knew.

:hug:
Just let it all out, put it all out there, and see if it all tumbles into place.

[From The Ashes]

6. Thanks Elrond...

...:hug:

[SPKrazy]

2. Aye....

I have an idea of what you mean FTA

it's a different world, yet its the same one, we're just older.

All the insecurities that were there before, are now there with the addition of age.

I know I've been told that women have it harder than men in this regard. Dunno, never been a woman, but I can assure you that I feel insecure, inadequate, and lost when it comes to figuring out how to date. Do I need to get some acne soap cuz I think I will break out any day now just thinking about it.

Hang in there, maybe you aren't ready, and maybe you are.

:hug: :hug:

you aren't a "miserable human being" you are human and you may be miserable at the moment, but that is just a feeling and not a state of being.

[From The Ashes]

8. That and more...

these are emotions I haven't dealt with in a decade at least. It's much like a roller coaster, and part of me wants off, NOW!...the rest is hanging on for dear life.

I have a lot of love to give. I would have made Mr. 'I'm gonna dump you via email' a very happy man; the fucking coward.

I just hope i can find someone who'll love me for who I am now, not who he thinks he can change me into.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. My dear From The Ashes...

Control is not what you need now...

I think knowing how to deal with it would be better...

How about some counseling?

Pain is just your soul's way of telling you that something needs attention...

Also, you hurt now because you are alive, and you need someone to love...

Don't wall it off!

That's like letting part of you die, sweetie...

:hug:

[From The Ashes]

9. Thanks Peggy...

...I think it's just human nature to want to return to what was (seemingly) easier. I know that walling the feelings up will just serve to make me a robot. I can't go backwards and i don't see a clear path forward either.

Maybe a little counseling is in order. At least I have the medical coverage for it.

[latebloomer]

4. How about some therapy?

Sounds like you have a lot of unprocessed feelings from the past. It would be good to sort them out so you don't wind up either running away from relationships or sabotaging them.

[From The Ashes]

10. Oh yes...

...I do. Esteem issues too. I'm leaning toward counseling.

[BeachBaby]

5. Let me just say this.....

I know of what you speak. I'm right beside you.

:hug:

[From The Ashes]

11. Thanks JerseyGirlDem

:hug:

[LeftyFingerPop]

7. Changes....

What it boils down to is this...you are merely going through some big big changes.

You are going to feel some things you have never felt before.

That's all it is...and it is normal.

Don't panic.

If your feelings start to overwhelm you, talk to a professional to sort them out.

Everything will be alright.

:hug:

[From The Ashes]

12. Thanks philboy...

...:hug:

[TroglodyteScholar]

13. You're not alone

I lost a 10 year relationship about a year ago...am almost 30 and facing all the fears that I'm sure are normally reserved for teenagers.

Definitely not feeling the whole dating thing. I don't really understand what I'm going through either...the loneliness is terrible, and I pretty much lost all my confidence in the course of my marriage and the aftermath of its end. I don't know what is the right thing to do, but I'm just going to focus on bettering myself...not worry so much about companionship, as it's not benefited me much in the past anyway.

I hope you're able to come to some kind of understanding/peace. :hug: