The Republican Kidnapper

[jmowreader]

A Bushanomics victim decided the only way he could save his home from foreclosure is to kidnap someone's kid and use the ransom to pay down his mortgage. He went down to the school and waited outside for a suitably small child to walk by. When he found one, he pulled him behind a tree and told the young'un, "I kidnapped you. Don't do anything stupid." He wrote out a note that said, "I have kidnapped your kid. If you ever want to see him alive again, put $100,000 in a bag and put the bag under the park bench next to the grade school. Signed, A Republican." Then he pinned the note to the child's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next day, there was a bag under the park bench. In it was $100,000 and this note: "How could you do this to a fellow Republican?"

[some guy]

1. LOL

:rofl:

K & R - maybe someone else will like it too.

:hi:

[jmowreader]

3. You heard about the Republican ag student, right?

He was enrolled in an Animal Husbandry program. At the beginning of his second semester, he had to bring a sheep in, breed it and raise the lambs for sale.

Unfortunately for him, he spent all his school-supplies money on liquor and prostitutes so he had to figure out another way to get a sheep. He decided to try talking a farmer out of one.

He found a farm with a lot of sheep on it, introduced himself to the farmer as a poor ag student, and asked the farmer, "if I can tell you exactly how many sheep are in this pasture without counting them, may I have one?" The farmer said yes; any good sheep farmer counts on losing some anyway, so it really wasn't a big deal to him. The student stood on his truck and counted the number of fenceposts on each side of the pasture, then measured the distance between two posts. He then did a lot of calculations and finally announced, "you have nine hundred forty-nine sheep."

The farmer was truly impressed. "Yes, that's exactly how many there are. Can you show me how you got there?" The student displayed all his pasture-density calculations. The farmer congratulated him on his diligence and bade him take a lamb for his studies. The student picked up an animal and headed toward his truck.

"Son, if I can tell you what political party you belong to, may I have the animal back?"

'Yes.'

"You're a registered Republican, aren't you?"

'Yes I am! How did you know?'

"You're carrying my dog."

[succubus.blues]

2. d'oh!

:rofl: