Queen Latifah is my hero.

[Kutjara]

Yes, yes, I know she's supposed to be a diva, difficult to work with, demanding and all that, but I can forgive her anything after seeing this Jenny Craig scam she's running.

Poor old Kirstie Allie and Valerie Bertinelli must feel like total idiots. They thought that, just because they'd been hired as spokesmodels for the Jenny Craig weightloss scheme, they had to actually lose weight. So they exercised and dieted and wrapped themselves in Saranwrap and no doubt had some sneaky liposuction on the side, dutifully losing the requisite poundage so they could say first-hand that the Jenny Craig system works.

Such sweaty self-denial was not for Queen Latifah, however. She took over from Valerie about six months ago and hasn't lost an ounce. Even better, she clearly has no intention of losing weight. The latest commercial sees her strolling sedately on a treadmill, while saying "Oh yeah, I'm really movin'." No you're not, you're barely walking. If you were 95 and had two plastic hips, walking would be impressive. For an ostensibly healthy woman in her 30s, walking is...well...just walking. Even better, the look on Latifah's face leaves you in no doubt that she thinks the whole thing is one huge joke.

Where Kirstie and Valerie breathlessly reported every drop in dress size and shed pound as a major personal triumph, Latifah just laconically says "I'm size healthy" (and you can almost hear the implied "and I defy you to say I'm not"). She just does not give a shit. She's happy with who she is and not afraid to say it. If Jenny Craig wants her to be thin, then Jenny Craig can just go to hell (after handing over a big check, of course).

So desperate are the Jenny Craig bigwigs to show results, that they've drafted Queen Latifah's "fitness consultant" into the campaign, who just happens to have lost a ton of weight on the Jenny Craig plan (yeah, right). The "consultant" spends half of the latest ad waxing lyrical about the effectiveness of the scheme, while Latifah just looks on with a "you poor deluded skinny fool" smile on her face. So now, Latifah is getting the same money for even less work! I'm in awe.

This has to be one of the greatest "fuck yous" in the history of advertising. Queen Latifah gets a nice big advertising contract, while some other slob has to lose all the weight. Pure genius.

I think what Latifah meant to say was "Oh yeah, I'm really movin'. All the way to the bank."

Queen Latifah, I salute you!

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. Yeah, she's uber cool

[yellowdogintexas]

2. thing is the Jenny Craig company HAD to approve this. What I suspect is the following:

the campaign is going to continue showing her as she was in the beginning.

Then there will eventually be an 'unveiling' of the new Queen.

No WAY would those ads run like that if the advertising company hadn't signed on for it from the get go

[Kutjara]

6. I suspect you're right, but...

...it will be so disappointing. I'd much rather imagine the Jenny Craig people and the advertising people having huge screaming fights with each other, while Latifah just serenely smiles at them.

[Aristus]

3. Thin, or whatever you want to call her, Ms. Dana Owens is teh HOTNESS!

[yellowdogintexas]

7. oh no arguing there. I think she is awesome. nt

[Kutjara]

10. She certainly is, and I for one...

...do not want to see her as some 102 lb waif with a perpetual "please kill me" look on her face.

[khashka]

4. Teh Queen is teh queen!

I love the fact that she's shown larger women can be beautiful. I'm not sure about the Jenny Craig thang, though.


Khash.

[Kutjara]

8. As long as she...

...keeps doing what she's doing (seemingly just having a huge joke at Jenny Craig's expense), I'll love her for it. The thought of her actually sitting down to eat some lo-cal gray sludge in a plastic tray for dinner is too depressing. In my world, Queen L does not eat gray sludge!

[Missy Vixen]

5. I love Queen Latifah

She's not made to be a smaller woman. She's always going to have curves, and I think this might be what they're trying to highlight.

I don't want to go to Jenny Craig, but I'd rather they featured someone like her (beautiful, healthy, happy at the size she's at,) than tormenting a woman to lose huge amounts of weight she doesn't need to lose.

Julie

[Kutjara]

9. Sadly, they'e still doing the tormenting.

Because Queen L clearly has no interest in eating lo-cal tv dinners, the advertisers had to draft in that poor "fitness coach" to gush about how JC made her lose 40 lbs.That's what makes me think JC aren't really in control of what's going on in this campaign: the "fitness coach" woman looks like too much of a last-minute add-on, put there to sell the old "thin is in" malarkey.

It really sends a mixed message, though. On one hand, Latifah is saying "be happy with what you've got," while on the other, some woman on the edge of a nervous breakdown is telling everyone how they need to be thin thin thin.

[Dangerously Amused]

11. I have never known any reason not to adore QL. And now I love her EVEN MORE!

Well written OP, btw. Thanks!

[Kutjara]

12. I agree. Everything she does...

...she does with a style uniquely her own (as Jenny Craig is quickly learning). :)