I found a ring...

[crimsonblue]

I've been gazing both online and IRL for rings, and I found the perfect one... It will set me back a bit, but I cannot deny what is the perfect ring, can I? What's the general rule for rings? A month's pay? here it is....

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear crimsonblue...

That is just gorgeous!

Have you asked your fiancee what she would like?

She's a very lucky girl!

All my best wishes to you both...

:hug:

[crimsonblue]

2. I haven't...

kind of want to surprise her.. But i did go window shopping with a friend of ours... I found one very similar to the pic, and she said it was everything the gf described she'd want. :D I just gotta convince myself if I wanna spend as much as it costs...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. I always think about the money...

My main thought is: Once you've spent it, it's gone, but you have the object forever...

Just my way of looking at it...

Value for the money is important...

I'm quite sure she would be thrilled and surprised with this ring...

[REP]

4. 3 month's salary

The price does not include the center stone (and maybe not the side stones, either); it's just the mount.

[crimsonblue]

5. ...

:wow: that may be too rich for my blood...

[REP]

7. They're displayed with 'display' center stones or fakes

Michael Bondanza Hudson Platinum Semi Bezel Solitaire
by Michael Bondanza


Platinum Hudson 1.50ct semi bezel ring with a wide tapered band.
Center stone sold seperately. Please contact for options.

Sku: 4M-044-0011
Price: $3075.00

[datasuspect]

23. i would not spend close to 100,000 dollars on a damn ring.

[crimsonblue]

6. alrighty well I bid adieu... I hear her walking up...

time for beddy by. :evilgrin: We're going away for the evening tomorrow afternoon for a while so I won't be back till Sunday night. hopefully I'll have good news at my next report back. :D

[Indi Guy]

8. The most important rings are...

...the circular rapport enjoyed by both partners (and the ring of shared honesty therein).

[yellowdogintexas]

9. it is beautiful, and a ring of that design can be located in many places

with varying degrees of expense in the stones. Use the photo as a guide and continue to pursue..

that mounting is magnificent and has a couple of features which appeal greatly to me:
low, close to the hand
flat prongs, less prone to snagging

Good Luck

[SallyMander]

10. Get moissanite!!!

Diamonds are a rip-off and an environmental and humanitarian nightmare. Check out moissanite. It is optically superior to diamonds, almost as hard (harder than any other gemstone besides a diamond), WAY cheaper, and grown in labs -- so no African children will be losing their arms for the symbol of your love. Moissanite naturally occurs in meteorites -- that's sweet, huh?

Check out www.diamondssuck.com -- lots of good info and links.

And FYI, my engagement ring is moissanite. We took the stone and setting to a jeweler to have it set -- and he was going on and on about what a gorgeous flawless "diamond" i had! So no one will know unless your fiancee tells them.


Hey, and CONGRATS!!! :D :hi:


Edit to add pic of my ring! :bounce:

[Schema Thing]

11. ditto

don't buy into the market-made tradition.

Even if your diamond didn't contribute to some kids hand being chopped off, it still contributes to an advertising driven market with prices artificially high and profits going to anyone but the workers. It's an especially nasty business.

[SallyMander]

19. Have you seen this article?

It's old, but lots of info that *really* pissed me off! :grr:

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/print/198202/diamond

[Pierre.Suave]

14. UHHhhhmmm

this post looks eerily familiar...

:P

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=7262826&mesg_id=7264103


:rofl:

[SallyMander]

15. Hey, i will take any excuse to show off that sparkler!

I just ordered this moissanite wedding band... i am going to be BLINDING people after Sept 6! :rofl:

[Pierre.Suave]

17. Congratulations

That is really nice looking.

[SallyMander]

18. Thanks hon!

Hey, do you guys have a date set yet?

[Pierre.Suave]

22. We are working on it right now

and my "we" I mean her and her mom...

At this very moment.

:rofl:

We have discussed it, right now, we are leaning towards early fall at the soonest.

[SallyMander]

24. Woohoo! Congrats :-)

We got engaged *last* April (2007) and decided to wait until this fall... we both love that time of year, but we didn't want to rush into super planning mode to try to do it for fall '07. Do you think you'll have a ton of people there?

[Pierre.Suave]

25. Maybe not a ton

but quite a few.

My family is quite big and boy do they love getting together...

her side is smaller, but we also have a lot of friends we want to invite.

Then there are all the ancillary considerations, such as cost, location, weather, etc..

[SallyMander]

26. Oh believe me, i know how the planning goes...

And we are going *way* low-key (think cookout)... but there are still a lot of things to figure out!

[Pierre.Suave]

27. My biggest concern

is her, I want this day to be as great for her as she wants it to be.

All my siblings also had enormous weddings, in fantastic places, so I feel that I have something to live up to here.

[SallyMander]

28. Don't worry about the sibs

It should be your day, and be how you guys want it to be... I think some people at our wedding may be taken aback with how informal it is... we're not doing a lot of the stuff you're "supposed" to do (bouquet toss, cake cutting, etc). We're just doing things that mean something to us. :)

[Pierre.Suave]

30. That is good advice

Thanks.

[siligut]

16. Thanks for speaking up. nt

[SallyMander]

20. I've never been good at keeping my mouth shut about this

One friend sent me a *scathing* email for even suggesting this to her... about how i was trying to ruin the happiest time in her life, and if i were a real friend i would be happy for her no matter what. And keep in mind this was all BEFORE she'd even bought a ring...!

:crazy:


So anyway, you're welcome, and thank YOU. :)

[Rabrrrrrr]

35. I like to think to people "If this is the happiest time in your life, then that's pretty sad".

If the best you can look forward to in life is have your wedding way, about 1/4 to 1/3 of the way into your life, be the best day of your life, then you're in a for a life of misery and disappointment.

[SallyMander]

36. I read an absolutely hilarious article

Written by someone in the wedding industry... it was advice on how wedding vendors should deal with "problem brides." The definition of a problem bride? "A woman who is more interested in being married than she is in her wedding day."

:spray:

Sign me up... i guess i'm a problem!

[Rabrrrrrr]

40. Meaning, a bride who isn't getting bent out of shape about her "special" day?

That's the definition of a problem bride?

I would imagine for a wedding planner that would be the definition - a bride like that is smart and emotionally/psychologically mature enough that she won't feel the need/pressure to keep buying shit and trying to outdo her last friend who got married.

[SallyMander]

42. Exactly -- that kind of person is a disaster for the Wedding Industrial Complex

"Ummm, say what? You want me to spend $12,000 on floral arrangements? Uh, scuz me while i laugh until snot comes out my ears!"

:rofl:

[suninvited]

31. Very good advice !

And a beautiful ring.

[SallyMander]

32. Thanks Imagine!

I think most people haven't heard of moissanite -- it's a great alternative, and not to mention about 1/10th the price!

:hug:

[VenusRising]

38. Everything SallyMander said.

My husband and I refused to get any diamonds for our wedding bands. We melted down all my old jewelry and used the small diamonds, but we bought no new diamonds. We didn't think that our love and marriage should be represented by something that children have their limbs cut off for. This was a personal decision, but it made us feel good to do this one little thing.

This site tells you which selections are Fair Trade, Conflict Free, or Reused Recycled material.
http://www.pristineplanet.com/conflict%2Dfree%2Ddiamonds%2Dethical%2Ddiamonds%2Dfair%2Dtrade%2Drecycled%2Dgold/fine%2Djewelry/6421_a_1.html

They have some gorgeous rings and one that looks like SallyMander's ring.

Thanks for giving out the information, SM. :hi::hug::loveya::yourock::applause:

[SallyMander]

39. Great website VR

There are a couple rings on there that look similar to what the OP was looking for too! :yourock:



:loveya:


I was just wondering how you're doing -- haven't seen you around much lately! :hug:

[VenusRising]

48. It was a website I heard advertised on Nova M Radio.

Nothing like real progressive radio to find out about the products that mean the most to us. ;)

We're doing good. We went out morrel mushroom hunting today. My dad has found some and my cousin and his buddies have found over 400. Rob's boss had one just growing in his backyard, so we are going to try to go out again tomorrow. I hope we find ONE! I would be happy with one. I'm not greedy. Other than that, I'm good. I've been in GDP a lot and doing stuff around the house. Right now I'm baking some blueberry muffins and playing Guild Wars with ZI.

Now, did you really want to know all that? :P

How are you two and the pups? :hug:

[Aristus]

12. LOST! My precioussss, it'ss LOSSST! Curse us and crush usss!

Someone finded it, precioussss!


:silly:

[Pierre.Suave]

13. It is exciting isnt it?

I went through a bunch of hoops, plus letting a friend of my Fiances in on the secret, just to get the perfect ring, perfectly sized.

Good luck, and best of wishes!

Here is a thread in which was discussed my adventures getting the correct ring.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7262826

[Rabrrrrrr]

21. The only people who say "a few months' wages" are jeweleres. No one sane says it.

Hopefully your bride-to-be doesn't buy into the "buy me a big expensive load of shit" meme.

Moissanite is good, and there are some other gemstones that aren't bathed in the blood of innocents, don't profit Pat Robertson, and won't cost you an arm and a leg (and a black kid a literal arm and a leg).

[suninvited]

33. Don't you love the way corporate America

has the ability to brainwash everyone into believing what is right?

Zales prints a pamphlet on buying an engagement ring, and presto, everyone has to spend three months salary on a ring.

[Rabrrrrrr]

34. Yep. Just like we roll over for every new fucking holiday that Hallmark invents.

I wish people were smarter.

But the vast majority of them aren't.

If jewelery were actually an investment, it wouldn't be so bad. But it isn't.

Three month's salary on a fucking ring. Hell, I would be hard pressed (from a "best use of money" standpoint) to spend that much on a car. Let alone a fucking ring. And certainly not just because some fucking advertising campaign tells me to.

But, then, I have a brain.

Three months' salary for a new couple is way better spent on a house.

[applegrove]

29. Beautiful. Make sure it is the right size. I had a cousin who got engaged

and she actually went into a jewelry shop and asked if they could make it smaller. They said you mean the band right? She said - "no, I mean the stone - the stone is too big". LOL!

[morkalienfrommars]

37. Don't get married!

YOU WILL REGRET IT.

[Name removed]

41. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[SallyMander]

43. A question for the ages

Option 3 is just dark/misplaced humor!

[zanne]

44. I think the second one applies here. nt

[mike_c]

45. Don't get married!

YOU WILL REGRET IT.

Check my profile, ya bastids! :rofl:

[kath]

46. This article says a lot about the various reasons that the "engagement ring" thing makes me

uncomfortable:
http://www.slate.com/id/2167870/nav/tap1

excerpt--last 3 paragraphs:
On the face of it, the engagement ring's origins as a financial commitment should make modern brides-to-be wary. After all, virginity is no longer a prerequisite for marriage, nor do the majority of women consider marriageability their prime asset. Many women hope for a marriage in which housework, child-rearing, and breadwinning are equitably divided. The engagement ring doesn't fit into this intellectual framework. Rather, its presence on a woman's finger suggests that she needs to trap a man into "commitment" or be damaged if he leaves. (In most states today, if a groom abandons a bride, she is entitled to keep the ring, whereas if she leaves him, she must give it back.) Nor is it exactly "equitable" to demand that a partner shell out a sixth of a year's salary, demonstrating that he can "provide" for you and a future family, before you agree to marry him.

For those who aren't bothered by the finer points of gender equity, an engagement ring clearly makes a claim about the status of a woman's sexual currency. It's a big, shiny NO TRESPASSING sign, stating that the woman wearing it has been bought and paid for, while her beau is out there sign-free and all too easily trespassable, until the wedding. (There might be an equitable case for pregnancy rings, since bearing children is inherently unequal—but that's its own can of worms.) In fact, many ads, including a recent series by Tiffany, imply that giving a ring results in a woman's sexual debt—as these parodies brilliantly capture.

It may seem curious that feminism has made inroads on many retrograde customs—name-changing, for example—but not on the practice of giving engagement rings. Part of the reason the ring has persisted and thrived is clearly its role in what Thorstein Veblen called the economy of "conspicuous consumption." Part of the reason could be that many young women, raised in a realm of relative equality, never think rigorously about the traditions handed down to them. So it's easy to simply regard a ring as a beautiful piece of jewelry and accept it in kind (I'm guilty myself). But it's also the case that a murkier truth lies within its brilliance: Women still measure their worth in relationship to marriage in ways that men don't. And many are looking for men who will bear the burden of providing for them, while demanding equality in other ways. (It's telling, for example, that in many parts of Scandinavia, where attitudes toward gender are more egalitarian, both men and women wear engagement rings.) Women are collectively attached to the status a ring bestows on them; otherwise more would demand some equal sign of commitment from their husbands. Say, a tattoo. For two. Now there's an idea.

***
I don't have, and didn't want a diamond at all. Even if we/he had had thousands of bucks to blow on such things, I would rather have spent it on a kickass vacation, or the down payment on a house.
I know a couple who gave *each other* rings when they became engaged (because it seemed much more egalitarian to them), and was intrigued by the part in the last paragraph about Scandinavian couples. I found this on a message board:
but my finace is Danish and they wear the wedding bands on the opposite hand (or on a chain) before the wedding. I love it!

The women traditionally wear their wedding band on the other hand as well and switch it over, so there's no separate engagement ring.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080311152944AAcydcx


I was/am also repulsed by the concept of the wedding veil, and there is no way in hell I was going to wear one. I wore my hair up, with flowers tucked into it, and felt beautiful.

And no way in hell was my dad going to "give me away". I was 33 years old for Jeebus' sake, and even at a younger age was never his property.


JUST SAY NO to the Wedding Industrial Complex. The average amount of $$$ spent on American wedding seems so obscene to me. Blowing thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars IN ONE DAY?? - Seems to make much more sense to save that money for a house, or, if savings-adverse, a weeks- or month-long dream vacation would give you lots and lots of happy memories.

[Pierre.Suave]

49. ...

:eyes:

Do you think you really needed to post this here? Let the man be happy, save your stump speech for some other day.

[Rabrrrrrr]

50. Fantastic! This country needs a great big giant wedding industrial complex enema.

We have no idea as a society what marriage is; the difference between a wedding and a wedding reception; and the difference between a wedding and a marriage. We have no idea of the symbology, nor the history of many of the traditions.

Father's giving away the bride? Seriously, is there anything more medieval and anti-woman than that? Veils?

:puke:

Thanks for posting that.

More people need to see it, and "Modern Bride" and every other pile of shit culture-destroying 'bridal' magazine should be forced to print it in great big letters on the cover of every issue.

My partner (female) and I (male) *both* have engagement (or commitment, whatever one wants to call them) rings. I could not, in any good sense of honor or ethics or conscience, ask her to wear one if I didn't, and we don't wear them to remind people that we're each others' property, either - we wear them to remind us of each other, and as a sign of commitment to one another.

[SallyMander]

51. ...

[GreenPartyVoter]

47. Lovely!