Why didn't somebody tell me all those gay marriages in SF...

[LuLu550]

were responsible for my divorce???? And all this time I thought it was because my heterosexual male husband was a lying,cheating,drunk...

[pagerbear]

1. Yet another out

...for lying, cheating, drunken straight men!

[terrya]

2. No, no, no,no, no....

Your husband, as a straight guy, is threatened by gay men getting married. Even though he's never SEEN a gay wedding ceremony, the reality of it was enough to send your husband to the lawyer.

It's an honest mistake, LuLu550

Terry

[LuLu550]

5. sound like those gays

might be responsible for making him a drunk, too! No wonder we need a constitutional amendment to stop it!

[terrya]

7. Yep. We're incorrigable. AND it gets worse.

We gays have been known to sometimes barge into straight guys' houses and do makeovers on them AND their homes!

The affrontery!

:-)

Terry

[LuLu550]

10. actually, I am waiting for a TV show

where gay guys make over middle aged straight women....I want to be first in line!

[terrya]

12. Funny you should mention that...

Comedy Central is going to do a show "Straight Plan for the Gay Man", which is a takeoff on "QEFTSG". 5 straight men are going to do a straight makeover of a gay guy.

I'm looking forward to seeing that...

:-)

Terry

[LuLu550]

13. what would they have to do...

Wear bad clothes and go to stock car races????

[La Lioness Priyanka]

17. my colorist

was one of the gay men...he learnt how to play basketball and was kinda excited by it...

[pagerbear]

23. I have a friend

...who is pitching a show (or has it in development--not sure which) where gay men make over a middle-aged fag hag so she can get dates with straight men. Sort like QE meets Date Patrol.

[BiggJawn]

3. Is that why?

So my ex wife could take her partner out there and tie the knot?
And I thought they'd have to go to Maine or Hawa'ii first....

Damn...It's all San Francisco's fault!

[radwriter0555]

4. You owe me a new keyboard...

*Spit take*

Thank you for that! too funny!

[ConcernedCanuk]

6. Aha, you need to find you SO in a better crowd then, . .

.
.
.

There is an annual meeting of the kind of man you are looking for

Soon to be announced,

Locations and times not decided yet,,

WE are hoping for a much larger turnnout than last year ..

.......

...

[LuLu550]

8. LOL

yeah, that is about it!

[arwalden]

9. We're Sorry... We Thought You KNEW ALREADY!!!

A memo was sent to everyone! We even posted it near the water cooler.

Because Queer Americans tarnished the sanctity of your marriage (in your ex-husband's eyes) he obiously felt as though he were somehow 'entitled' to do as he pleased. :hi:

-- Allen

P.S. The drinking part... that's all HIM. We had nothing to do with that.

[LuLu550]

11. are you sure?

perhaps the very thought of you getting married drove him to drink....

[foreigncorrespondent]

14. Awww, Allen, don't tell fibs!

P.S. The drinking part... that's all HIM. We had nothing to do with that.

I watched you, Terry, Cannikin and Dookus, and all the other DU gay guys keep buying him drinks at the bar! You know you got him hooked on booze. ;)

[terrya]

15. It was my buying the round of tequilia shots that did it.

I think that's what did it.

:-)

Terry

[LuLu550]

16. I knew it! I knew it!

I want the government to defend my marriage! (or lack thereof).

[pagerbear]

24. No

That's not exactly why we keep buying him drinks!

[kitkatrose]

18. Do you get toasters if you break up

a certain number of marriages? :P

[arwalden]

19. The Queer Chapter In Maryland Doesn't Reward For Breakups...

I think that's because breaking up marriages (tarnishing the sanctity of marriage) is one of our BASELINE, MINIMUM responsibilities. You don't get rewarded for performing the BASIC MINIMUM requirements.

The toaster-ovens, microwaves, and other electric kitchen appliances are presented to us whenever we go above and beyond the requirements.

-- Allen

P.S. Bonus points ARE awarded when we're able to BREAK UP a marriage and convert BOTH (former) spouses to the Queer Lifestyle. :-)

[terrya]

20. I have more toaster ovens than I need, thank you.

I've written national headquarters and asked them: "Could you please offer some different rewards? An espresso machine, for instance, would be VERY nice."

But, NO. Same old kitchen appliances.

:-)

Terry

[radwriter0555]

21. You know, a JUICER is MUCH more appropriate these days, since TOASTING

implies BREAD consumption which is soooo passe now.

Raw foods are the new tuscan cuisine.

[Bat Boy]

22. That's what happens when heathens attempt to be monogamous

Destroys the fabric of reality. Nothing will ever be normal again.

And I was just getting used to normal, dammit.