Okay, I don't want any dancing in the streets nor shouts of joy

[crim son]

but I think I am actually broken up with my boyfriend (R- Bush Hater). Nobody needs to tell me why this is a good thing because I'm not gonna believe it. My hope and plea: be nice to me because I'm completely heartbroken and this time am attempting to deal with it without excessive use of booze or... what have you.

Here's to new beginnings, yes? *Sigh*

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

1. Yes - new beginnings . . . .

I wish the very best for you.

We've all *been there, done that* and it sucketh mightily.

[crim son]

4. We certainly have and it doesn't get any easier

as one ages and the prospects are fewer. Thank you, DTBK!

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

13. sorry . . .

i forgot to say this is really bullwinkle925

i'm visiting dtbk and using her laptop.

i totally understand your feelings - i'm in the upper end of the middle age bracket and lost my husband last year. first time in my life i've had to think about men/women relationships in a totally different way. i never used to be this old before and it certainly is a diffeent ballgame. i still feel (and probably behave) as if i'm still 18 - but the reality isn't the same.
just be yourself - you're a strong woman and you have a lot to offer.

hugs - bw925

[crim son]

15. OMGosh, I didn't imagine it was you !

My sincere condolences and wishes for your strength and happiness, bullwinkle925. You're right about feeling eighteen, and I've spent at least a year behaving like a twelve-year-old. Time to grow up.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

48. Your feelings are important . . .

no matter what the issue is - if you're hurting over a *lost love* - then you hurt! It is difficult to give your heart to someone and then watch it walk away. Takes time and a lot of positive *self-talk*.
Good luck.
I'm sure I'll be traveling down that road as well at some point in time. Not looking forward to it - the getting hurt part.

hugs to you . . .
bw925

[SPKrazy]

2. Here's to my friend

and her happiness period :toast:

:hug:

[crim son]

7. Aw, pawpicker.

Happiness would be nice. :hug:

[SPKrazy]

8. yeah, I wish it for you too

:hug:

:loveya:

[puerco-bellies]

3. Time heals all

Even though that is impossible to believe at times.
:grouphug:

[crim son]

10. Yes.

I know that is true. How much time, is the question. And how to fill it.

[Skittles]

27. time does NOT heal all

but time certaily does make EVERYTHING easier to bear

[crim son]

29. I was going to say, it took me ten solid years to recover from

the last man I felt this way about. I did recover, but not so much that when I found his pic last week I didn't entirely freak out!

How many chances does a person get? A friend said, as many people have, that we are better off apart. She said, "There are plenty of men who will be good to you." What? There are? Because I've been around the block a few times and those men are relatively scarce.

Sigh. Getting a bit sad.

[Skittles]

33. sounds like a cliche but learn to love being alone

THEN start dating - it works

[crim son]

35. I know in my heart you are right.

Wanna take my kids for two years? :P

[Skittles]

36. LOL yeah I know it's harder on you

do it though - you'll lessen the sense of desperation you feel about being alone. I LOVE being single and living alone! :D

[crim son]

38. I think if I had work I'd feel the same way.

I have a million hobbies that I've left aside. A wee bit of stability and I'd pick them all up again. Then there's no time for a man!

[Skittles]

39. come on now, stop doing the all or nothing thing

pick up your million hobbies and date sporadically and casually for a while. TRY IT!

[crim son]

40. It is not in my nature.

Having said that, I took some drastic steps tonight.

[Skittles]

41. that's a start in itself!!!

:thumbsup:

[crim son]

42. I suppose.

You don't have to keep responding to me!

[Shakespeare]

5. Cheers to you, crim son.

And congratulations on new beginnings. :hug:

[crim son]

11. Cheers right back, Shakespeare.

Thank you. :hug:

[BeachBaby]

6. I'll be nice to you.

:hug:
:hug:
:hug:

:pals:

:cry:

:toast:

Whatever you need. :)

[crim son]

12. I need all those smileys!

Perfect. Thank you sweetie. :hug: :pals:

[Rabrrrrrr]

9. Good. Liberation has been far too long in coming.

Never, ever contact him or speak with him again.

[crim son]

14. Ah.

I am mind-bendingly, drop dead in love with the man. He's the one who doesn't want me, so I will take your advice by default. :)

[Tangerine LaBamba]

49. Honey

That's not love. That's something else, but it's not love. Love feels good. What you're feeling now is not good.

My grandfather used to say, in his Sardinian dialect, "It's better to be alone than to be in bad company."

You're right, though, about time not taking care of the hurt you're going through. You now have a new reality, a new kind of "all right," and that's progress. I'm new here, but I trust you've been through the mill with this relationship. I'm sorry for that, but we all seem to have to go through it - it's one of the necessary steps involved in growth.

You be strong, OK?

[Ellen Forradalom]

16. I'll have my zombie bite you

in celebration.

[crim son]

18. If you think that'll work...(doubtfully)

:P

[Ellen Forradalom]

20. Well, you can fill the time until healing

By biting other chumps.

[crim son]

22. I just discovered what you mean!!!

Laughing. That is EXACTLY what I must do, bite a few chumps. I've started with bi-baby and why not? :rofl:

[Ellen Forradalom]

25. My zombie army is growing.

Soon I will be mistress of all the Lounge.

[crim son]

30. Now you're scaring me...

:loveya:

[johnnie]

17. You just need to be happy

I have seen some of your threads on this guy and what has happened and I guess it is probably a good thing for you to move on.

The first thing we all need to do is to get it into our heads that we don't really need an SO to be complete. It's pretty much shoved down our throats from day one that the "normal" thing in life is to have someone to "share life with" and all that crap. The truth is, the majority of people go from childhood to death without ever having a life of their own and it is a pity.

I'm not talking about going a few weeks, months or even years of being single and being completely lonely, I am talking about having a while to yourself to learn to have a good time in life. Learn to dig your own company, learn an instrument, take up painting, take a trip by yourself and soak in the freedom, plant a garden, take some cooking classes or just do something to enjoy yourself without the feeling of the need to have a partner.

I will never understand why people feel that they are nobody without someone to hold and blah blah blah. Life is pretty easy, we just really need to just breathe. All the other shit is just fluff that you just kind of deal with. Peole have been doing it for centuries.

I'm not telling you how to live, I know you are hurting right now and I understand that. I have lost love before and it sucks. I guess I am just saying that I think it is worth it for you to take some time and enjoy your "loneliness" for a while, it could be the best part of your life. Love will happen.

[crim son]

19. I guess I would say that I had seventeen years of a shitty marriage

to enjoy my solitude and during that time I never spent a moment not learning something. But it's different now and I'm sure you understand. I'm older and obviously not wiser. I have never really worked and must figure out how to support myself. It was so nice, after a day of fear, to have the b/f tell me I am a good person, and that he has faith in me, etc.

Oh, boo hoo. Don't make me cry!

[johnnie]

24. There's a lot of people here who have faith in you too

As for supporting yourself, you just have to do what most of us do...wing it..lol. I'm 43, single and live alone. I own a house and have bills out the yin yang, I just wing it and do ok. Yeah, it sucks sometimes, but it's life and I just do what I do. Most of the time I am pretty happy just movin' along.

You'll be fine, I have faith in you. :)

[crim son]

28. Well, that's peculiarly cheering.

Seriously. Thank you johnnie. If my house ever sells I will have the great advantage of being able to buy one outright, or almost, cash down. I know I'll be okay; I'm just afraid. You make me feel better.

[ForrestGump]

47. johnnie and I are different in many ways

(same age, though!), but I've noticed that it's not unusual (no Tom Jones reference intended) that he posts exactly what I'm thinking. He's done it again, in that sometimes cosmic-twin way, and I can only say that I agree with every word he wrote.

Things really do tend to turn out right, and a lot of it has to do with how you're looking at it all: life sure has its sucktacular moments, as most of us undoubtedly know, but pretty much every negative twist can be viewed as a positive and, more importantly, actually turns out to have a positive side. In my experience, so far, it seems like most (all?) of the obvious downturns in our fortunes also represent opportunity. It's sort of the same principle behind entering self-employment or in someone walking out on or losing a 'steady' job, if any job these days is truly 'steady': you trade overt security, or the illusion thereof, for freedom...you can see it as a bad thing, and a scary thing, but it's just as true that at that point you actually have more options and are more open to more things and potential paths than you were before, including opportunities you could not predict that come from out of the proverbial left field. The more personal aspects of our lives are the same way.

You're a good person, worth an awful lot to others (including those of us who may never meet you) and to yourself and your family. And, yes, there're many out there who have faith in you, but of utmost importance is that you've got faith in yourself. I hope that you turn this all around -- everything from the financial and legal to the emotional -- and are able to make the most of it all, knuckling down to try anew to resolve those things that hold you back or threaten to do so. And some day, probably when you least expect it, Love will show up as never before and it'll be better than it ever was before. In the meantime, you've got all sorts of other flavors of love coming from those who are close to you in various ways, and from your children, as well as from those further away who're sending it as best they can over the Internet and through open space.

[newmajority]

21. Aw hell, let's have a little Dancing in the Streets anyway!!

Pick a version and go with it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y-x2fWKbmo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONGVPxbFENM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXu9pVGDhn8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsimgxD0TVI

[huskerlaw]

23. To new beginnings...

:toast: (that's lemonade...) ;)

:hug:

[crim son]

32. Ah, I love me some lemonade!

:toast: Here's to you, and to new beginnings, huskerlaw. :toast: :hug:

[Skittles]

26. do I need to kick his ass, crim son?

you know I'd do it for you my sweet

[crim son]

31. If I thought it would do some good, Skittles.

He has presented challenges but I have been impossible and he's finally given up. He wrote something about my demanding that he pass through "floating doors" which, once through, disappeared. There were always more doors, and never any sign that he'd made the effort. I'm a bitch that way but that's a consequence of the divorce etc. and will change. He showed up at the wrong time.

:hug:

[Pierre.Suave]

34. I will always be nice to you.

and it is a good thing Lisa, this guy was not good for you.

You are a beautiful, intelligent, and kind person that deserves to be treated with kindness, tenderness, love, and respect. He was not doing that.

:hug: for you dear.

yes, a new beginning. Congratulations.

[crim son]

37. Jason, he was.

He fucked up in the beginning because he thought I was too much for him. He said he knew I'd leave him and I did. This time, he told me to go fuck myself.

I hope I have any of the qualities you attribute to me because then I would be lucky indeed. :hug: :pals: :loveya:

Words from you help.

[Lorien]

43. If you need someone to talk to, PM me

I've got to have one of those talks with a similar guy soon, so I know how you feel :hug:

[Orsino]

44. Best wishes...

...and a non-alcoholic toast to new beginnings! :toast:

[NewJeffCT]

45. good luck to you and your new beginnings

take care of yourself.

[raccoon]

46. New beginnings!

:toast: :hug:

[Brigid]

50. How to deal:

1. Go to grocery store.

2. Purchase pint of favorite (preferably expensive) ice cream.

3. Return home and devour said ice cream.

:hug:

[Brigid]

51. How to deal:

1. Go to grocery store.

2. Purchase pint of favorite (preferably expensive) ice cream.

3. Return home and devour said ice cream.

:hug:

[miss_american_pie]

52. Hey

:hug:

[Parche]

53. I hOpe This thread Does not get locked

it seems that all of your threads are getting locked lately

:woohoo:

:hi:

[Maddy McCall]

54. What you need, crimson, is some serious counseling.

I haven't followed your story really closely, because I rarely read the lounge. But I do recall that you claimed that this guy hit you and you were more worried about what DUers would say that he might read than about your own health and well-being (and, by default, that of your children).

I hope that you will get some counseling. Until you figure out what it is that is broken in you that 1) attracks these jerks and 2) impels you to stay with them, you'll jump from relationship to relationship with these jerks.

I think you need some alone time. I think you need to work on counseling, and work on you. I think you need to figure out who you are, what you like, what you don't like, what you'll stand for and what you won't, so that you can set some boundaries that are in your best interest (and, by extension, that of your children).

I wish you well. But all of this will continue--this rollercoaster drama--until you decide to take charge of your own life and fix yourself.

Best wishes.

[PeaceNikki]

55. Abuse is a powerful and oddly addictive thing

The "norm" of abuse becomes a place of sick and twisted "comfort" as it's what we know and with which we are familiar.

I don't know the OP's whole story either, but if there has been a pattern of abuse of any kind in anyone's life, your advice is wise.