Scientists Discover Wrinkle In Time-Life Continuum
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30019PASADENA, CA—The world's scientific and multi-volume- book-buying communities are abuzz following Monday's announcement that a team of California Institute of Technology physicists has discovered a wrinkle in the Time-Life continuum.
If the discovery proves to be correct, consumers may be able to receive 100 percent of their money back even after observing Time-Life phenomena for a limited 10-day "window" in the continuum.
"Preliminary data still needs to be closely evaluated before any definitive conclusions can be reached," said Cal Tech team leader Stephen Yu. "But it now appears that the very fabric of Time-Life itself may be curved in such a manner that an observer may be able to purchase, receive and peruse any number of verifiable Time-Life phenomena, and then return them within 10 days for a full money-back-guaranteed refund, in effect returning to precisely where he started 10 days earlier, even though he has already spent 10 days reading material from the continuum firsthand. Yes, I know it sounds paradoxical, but it appears to be true."
According to the Cal Tech physicists, Monday's discovery will likely have a profound impact on researchers' ability to gather useful and interesting data on a variety of topics, including home construction and repair, the Vietnam War, and legendary Old West gunslingers like John Wesley Hardin, a man so ornery he once shot a man just for snoring.