My Dad got kicked out of care facility.......Now what?

[Bennyboy]

He is a handful. After a week of recovery at a regular hospital from an operation to remove intestinal blockage, he went to a care home yesterday and was told to leave this morning at 6 AM. the staff says they cannot handle him. he would not take his meds,accused them of trying to poison him and steal his secrets about grout(?). he would not let them care for hima dn when my mom showed up, he was covered in feces head to toe.

Now they are moving him back to his regular hospital, but they can't keep him forever. But he can't come home, my mom cannot deal with him. She can't change his bedding, diapers or any of that, she is bad shape as it is due to the five years of poor health he has suffered through.

we have tried to hire others, but he always chases them away in a matter of hours.

So what should we do?

[lizziegrace]

1. Are the hospital's social workers any help?

I'm so sorry your family (especially your poor mother) is having to deal with this. Is he an alzheimer's patient? Dementia?

[HERVEPA]

2. I went through this with my dad

Was sent from nursing home to mental hospital many times (a very bad combination, dementia, along with anxiety, depression, sexual acting out).

One of the times they refused to take him back. Said he was unmanageable.
We fought them like hell and eventually they took him back.

Aside from trying the social worker, check and see if there's an ombudsman for your town, county, whatever. I received some (not a lot) help from one.
You likely have a tough road ahead of you.

Don't let him go back to your mom. It'll wind up killing her, and won't help him.

Good Luck

[Bennyboy]

3. Thanks a lot.....

It is looking like mental health is the way to go right now. but he is in such band physical shape...he has (undaignosed) dementia and alzheimers etc.

[siligut]

4. Sounds like a real handful! Sorry.

There are some heavy-duty meds that can “calm” agitation. They essentially just take away the ability to form thoughts, good and bad. Also, slow physical movement too.

I agree, getting his mental stuff under control would help. Covered in feces? Sounds like he is acting out, looking for attention. Sometimes, depending, simple games/activities can give them something to focus on.

Also, there are some meds/vitamins to help with Alzheimer’s if you get a diagnosis. I would suggest you be around to talk to anyone who will potentially be involved in your dad’s care, family, especially those with intellect and powers of persuasion are very valuable under these circumstances.

[Dora]

5. Curiosity and backseat advice....

I don't know the history behind your father's illness/hospitalization, but I'm curious if he's ever had his serum B12 levels checked? Vitamin B12 deficiency is often missed in the elderly, and the deficiency can result in depression, hostility and anger, symptoms of dementia, problems with balance and feeling in the extremeties. The caregivers are so swamped with dealing with the symptoms that the cause of the depression/anger/hostility is never addressed (or misdiagnosed as Alzheimers) and the symptoms get worse.

It's easy to diagnose (a simple blood test "serum b12," not a CBC), and it's cheaply treated either orally or via injection.

http://www.aafp.org/afp/20030301/979.html
http://www.yourhealthbase.com/vitamin_B12.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitamin_B12_deficiency
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10448529
http://www.oznet.ksu.edu/humannutrition/_timely/b12.htm


I'm asking about this because it sounds like everyone has their hands full dealing with Dad. I've seen numbers that estimate anywhere from 10% to 50% of the elderly have this deficiency, but it goes undiagnosed. It's not a magic pill - but it sure turned my life around (I was B12 deficient, and this manifested as depression, a sore tongue, and tingling fingers).

:hug: to your dad
:hug: to you

[Bennyboy]

8. Wow, thanks a lot......I will bring it up later today....

at the hospital......

[Shine]

6. I have no advice, but offer my sympathies and moral support, Bennyboy

jeez, that sucks. :hug: I'm sorry you're having to deal with this challenge.

Taking care of our aging parents is what a lot of us Boomers have to look forward to....

Hang in there and good luck.

[skygazer]

7. My grandmother got thrown out of 3 different nursing homes

She got kicked out of the first for literally beating an orderly with her cane. She was an ornery woman but I've always kind of had sympathy for her too because she was a strong, independent woman reduced to being dependant on others and I can imagine how awful that would be. :(

I don't have any suggestions but I sure do sympathize with you. :hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

9. A combative elderly person usually has some sort of

'unbalance' going on with medications or vitamins, etc. He probably needs a full work up and if he is in the hospital, ask his MD to order one.

The only other solution might be to give him something to counteract the combativeness, such as Risperdal. It's a drastic solution, but one I've seen work out very well before.

First thing you need to do though is get a social worker for him. NOT THE HOSPITAL social worker, but one who specializes in geriatric issues in your town/county.

The hospital one will often suggest things which are definitely not the way you want to go, so get one from the county to lay out your options. Depending on his financial situation or where you live, he might be eligible for home health companionship which might be the solution.

And, keep this in mind. Even the gentlest soul on the planet can get disoriented in a hospital/care setting. My own dad was the kindest, sweetest man on the planet, but he became cantankerous when he was hospitalized until he adjusted to the setting.

Good luck. Having been there, I know this is no fun at all. :hug:

Additionally, if you get a social worker, they will tell you that if your dad is a federally covered life, ie covered under Medicaid or Medicare, no care facility can kick him out for any reason whatsoever. We hear horror stories about people being kicked out of care facilities, but it always because the facility itself is so bad that the government, for the sake of the residents, has stopped paying. It's not as heartless as some on DU would have you believe. Get a social worker. Pronto.

[Bennyboy]

10. Thanks good advice........

My Mom still wants to be the final say so i ahve to kind of go around her as far as some of this is concerned.....But i will be looking at some of the things here tommorow...

[The empressof all]

11. Contact Adult Protective Services

It's a state office with professional staff to assist vulnerable endangered adults. They will be able to get him the treatment that he requires. You also might want to consult with a gerontologist/Psychiatrist They might be able to change his meds and help him be less combatave

[Connonym]

12. I'm sorry you're going through this

I think your dad is probably better off being "kicked out" of a place that doesn't have the capacity or compassion to care for him properly. Most larger hospitals have specialized senior mental health resources that surely can assess your dad and find an appropriate placement for him, which, I'm sorry to say may very well be an Alzheimer's ward based on your description. Certainly it's not something your mother can handle by herself because even if she were in the peak of health it would still be too much for one person. Another place to check for resources would be your county or city department of health and human services. If I may be so rude as to introduce a little bit of indignation here, this is another reason to hate Ronald Reagan and the frakkin' Republicans for destroying our ability to care for those who can't care for themselves. :sarcasm: clearly the money was much better spent building up our "mighty" military capabilities.

I hope you are able to quickly find a caring place that will take your father and treat him properly.

[applegrove]

13. Wow that is a tough one. All I can do is send vibes. Is there a psychiatric

hospital nearby? Cause they often have geriatric wings and he may fit in fine there.

[abq e streeter]

14. glad to see good advice from others; I have none, but sending good thoughts and prayers

your way. Have thought of you as a kindred spirit here for awhile, and again, I wish you and your family strength in this difficult time.

[LaurenG]

15. I think a psychiatric consult may be able to help.

If you can get someone to consult with this it will be many times easier for everyone. I'm thinking it may simplify everyones life if you can get a diagnosis so that they can treat him even if it's with injections to start with. Psychiatrists generally know how to help place people with these types of problems as well.

[Bennyboy]

16. Thanks a lot and an UPDATE.....

he is back in the regular hospital. He has a bladder infection so that will keep him there for a few days anyway....Then they are going to try to place him back in the home he just got kicked out of, but this time he may not be so out of it. The mental health and social services people are very helpful at the hospital.

The docs all say that he is fine as far as vitamins etc are concerned, but he is very ill and his dementia is really really bad. he takes the drugs to calm him down in the hospital but refused in the care home, sot hat has to change.

But anyways, thanks for the kind words and advice.