Headlines that will never come true!

[UrbScotty]

NEWS

Cheney Wins Presidency
Bush Re-elected (as if he was elected in the first place)
Ted Nugent Is New Governor of Michigan (In God's Name, No!)

SPORTS

Tae Domi Wins Lady Bing Trophy (given to the 'most gentlemanly player' in the National Hockey League)
Tigers Win 100th Game of Season (not for a couple years, I don't think)
Lions Win Game (Not for six months, anyway)
Eastern Conference Team Wins NBA Title

WEATHER

Grand Rapids, MI, Feb. 14: 72 F and Sunny

What headlines are you sure you won't (or hope you don't) see?

[Whitacre D_WI]

1. Tae Domi. Hah!

Bob Probert could KICK HIS ASS!

Hell, Marty McSorley could kick Domi's ass. Hockey players these days are wussies.

[UrbScotty]

6. Wusses? You'll find one in your sig line! (nt)

[Whitacre D_WI]

8. Well, yes.

Even Tae Domi could kick Santorum's ass.

[Whitacre D_WI]

9. BTW, favorite Probert story.

I was at a sports card show shortly after his cocaine arrest. He was signing autographs. Somebody had him sign a MIRROR. With a logo on it -- the logo said "COKE IS IT."

And Probert signed with a smile.

[name not needed]

2. Red Sox Win the World Series

[brainshrub]

4. Damn you to the deepest pitt of hell!

Red Sox rule! Victory will be ours!

[7th_Sephiroth]

3. sure i wont see

"george to world, "i'm sorry"

[slinkerwink]

5. Howard Dean overcomes the media and the DLC and wins

the Presidency of the United States of America.

[4morewars]

7. here's some i'd like to see !!

---troops head home
---bush and cheney to share cell in leavenworth
---rummy still missing
---kissinger tells all at the hague
---ann coulter's cesna crashes in lake michigan
---rove suicide leaves questions
---rush anal cyst said to be in brain too
---ceo money to go to welfare moms
---etc,etc,etc

[Weiners]

10. Repubs.....

"Republicans Take To The Streets in Support of Universal Health Care!"

"Congress demands full investigation of irregularities in voting machines"

"Democrats draft Rush Limbough as Drug Czar"

[4morewars]

11. LMAO

[camero]

12. Yankees have baseball's lowest payroll

I'm sure I'll never see that one.

[On the Road]

13. On the Last Page of The Onion's "Our Dumb Century":

"Christian Right Ascends to Heaven"

[imax2268]

14. BUSH IMPEACHED...

That's the one I would love to see...