I dreamed of ghosts of times past.

[Droopy]

In the dream I was about 18 again and I was hanging out in someone's garage with three of my buddies. We were drinking beer and working on someone's motorcycle which sounds like something we'd do back then. It was a cold winter's day and the whole setting seemed to be devoid of life.

I've not hanged around 2 of those three friends in several years, but from what I hear from family members that do, those 2 guys are ghosts of their former selves and the one that I still talk to is as well. I might be, too, I guess. We are all in our mid 30s now. One guy has three children by three different women. He's gone to jail for a drug crime and another time for failure to pay child support. He now works as a mechanic, lives with his parents, and doesn't have a pot to piss in. Last time I visited another one of the guys he was married and had a son and was making good money in an IT job. But he hates his kid and treats him like shit. It's so bad that the last time I visited with him I had to cut the night short because I was losing control of my ability to refrain from beating the shit out of the guy. The guy that I still do hang out with from time to time has done absolutely nothing since we were kids. I guess he hasn't held a job for longer than 2 months his whole life and he hasn't worked for 7 years. I don't know what's wrong with him, but he seems to be content still living with his parents and bumming money off of his mom for cigarettes. Dude, you're not 18 anymore! Then there's me. I'm the best off of the bunch now, but my brain was ravaged by a severe mental illness for 10 years- my lost decade. I've got a good job, but I work 60 hours a week. I don't really have any friends. I'm single with no children. My whole life seems to revolve around money. I'm obsessed with paying off all of my debt, including my mortgage, so I can take it easy for the rest of my life.

Yeah, we're all ghosts. I come away from the dream feeling like something in me has died. Do you believe in reincarnation? Ah, hell. Maybe I'm just in desperate of a warm, spring day and leaves on the trees.

[lildreamer316]

1. ....

:hug: