Yo loungers - my boss is a jerk, what would you do....

[The Straight Story]

Ok, so after months of no jobs I took a crap computer job with a small company (about 6 people work there - most are field techs so I rarely see them). I would make as much on unemployment as I do this job, but wanted to work.

First off, it seemed like he would be offering me a decent wage, then told me in an email he would hire me at $12/hr. 12 years experience, so I guess I get a $1 a year.

At any rate, on the app I had to fill out he asked if I smoke. I said yes, figuring it had to do with insurance rates (come to find out, they don't offer insurance).

Basically, he hates smoking and has had 'issues' with smokers in the past, but did not want to pass up hiring me as I had more experience than all his techs combined.

So first week there I get an email. I smell like smoke (and he is not even in my office, has his own and is rarely at our building anyway) and told me that it makes his skin crawl just thinking about me smoking.

Then tells me a client may drive by the office or be there for something and see me smoking, so I should sit in my car in smoke (we have two rooms in a 4 story office complex....).

This week he emails me (second week there) and tells me two other techs have claimed I am taking too many smoke breaks and that a client I was at said I smelled like smoke. I talked with both techs I worked with and neither said anything to him (and they take 2 hour lunches sometimes and are about at wits end with him as well).

And the client I was at - was staffed by a guy of ours who took his smoke breaks with me, smokes pot at lunch, and drinks hard alcohol off and on through the day (showed me his drawer of stuff). And he was with me when we went to see the two people whose systems we had to work on (and he is one of the guys he alluded to that said I took too many smoke breaks - to which I replied, he was over-reacting and that guy took smoke breaks with me) and they didn't say anything about him smelling like smoke (and I think he put that tech there so he would not have to have him at the main office, keep them smokers hidden away somewhere...).

I am hourly, don't take my hour lunch cause I like to break up my breaks, and I work about 3+ hours a night from home on special projects for which I don't get paid.

Overall the guy loves me as I am saving him a ton of money and getting things working for his business that were not before, praises me a ton, and then out of the blue jumps my ass and makes up shit.

I also pointed out that if I go to the bathroom and grab something from the food machine (on another floor) people may think I went out to smoke, but when the other tech at the site does that he does not care how long he is gone...

Why are some people such dicks?

[Adsos Letter]

1. Question....

Does he praise you in e-mail or only "face-to-face?" Is he only keeping an electronic record of criticism for smoking, too many breaks, etc? California is an "at will" state for hiring and firing...but I wonder if he is planning on fighting unemployment claims if he decides to lay you off...

[Tuesday Afternoon]

2. those are my exact thoughts as well....

what a jerk bossx(

sorry :hug:

[Adsos Letter]

3. I agree, I've had bosses like that and it makes work...

which should be a reasonably pleasant pursuit, into something it should not have to be...some bosses/managers have no clue...

[Tuesday Afternoon]

5. and with the way the job market is, they don't have to get a clue

yet....

[The Straight Story]

4. Praises me in both

I have turned around a big investment he made in some software services that fell flat on their face, and will be able to automate much of his managed services.

He is excited at what I am doing - which is why this is so weird to me. My wife called him Jekyll and Hyde (she sees the emails as I log into email at home).

He does not talk much face to face or by phone, he prefers emails and messages.

I get seriously stressed out at work if I am out for a smoke (like I was the other day on my lunch break, which I decided that time to take an hour one and make calls and smoke) and he pulled into the parking lot. Loads of other people from the complex come out and have a smoke at lunch, and some of them we have done work for in the building and I have helped resolve issues.

I get the feeling that when this project is done and a few others he needs me for (coding wise) I will be out - because I will be able to document and automate a lot of things for him.

I have other companies offering me 110k up in san fran area and LA, just not practical for me to move there right now. He is getting a bargain and making my life miserable at the same time - and he knows I caught him in a lie today, and he never replied about it and dropped it (but I dread checking my email now or going out for a smoke or to get some coffee, etc).

[Tuesday Afternoon]

6. my advice...in all honesty ---

quit smoking. Dude, you know you need to quit. Fuck him. Quit anyway :hug:

[The Straight Story]

7. principle of the matter now :)

I think I should sneak into his car and smoke a pack :rofl:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

8. dude!

:eyes:

:rofl:

If I can quit, anybody can...smokefree 7 years now.

[The Straight Story]

11. Oh I can quit

Have before for some time.

Mom's death and about 8 others, wife's disease, and all the other shit pretty much was a breaking point for me.

since I was 21 have had an assload of people I know die on me, and only maybe a few related to smoking if you stretched it a bit.

Many of those healthy football players I grew up with - dead. The anti-smoking people I knew so well for years, dead.

Me, I am still here for a spell :)

[Adsos Letter]

9. well...it sounds like he has a problem with addressing things that bother him face-to-face

and there may be some envy/jealousy backstory going on with the other people you work with because of your commitment and skill level.

I don't know, man...I sure had some dysfunctional bosses in my day, and it turned work into something it shouldn't be, so you certainly have my empathy... :hug:

Hey...if you can make it up to the Bay Area with that kind of salary offer you will soon find that cost of living (housing-wise) is becoming more affordable...our weather is great, and it is a nice place to live with lots to do.

Sorry about your boss...I guess I would say that, if your time there is limited I might try to do what you can to temper his attitude towards smoking and breaks (if only for the potential job evaluation/reference) and try to not stress over it.

I know that is much easier said than done...but in the long run it really is his problem. The best shop I ever worked for (15 years) was one where the boss realized his employees were what made his business successful, and treated them accordingly.

Don't let him take any years away from your life, and your time with your lovely wife, through stress.

Now...about that smoking and your health... :)

[BreweryYardRat]

23. 110k a year? WHY is it not practical?

Good Lord, take up a collection for your costs, if that's the problem. I'll chip in.

[pitohui]

25. for 110K it's practical to move to the freakin moon

ok we all know the vulgar story about the beagle crying because he's laying on his balls

time to roll over and get off your balls

it doesn't cost 110K to move, in your financial straits i'm not understanding why you would refuse opportunity, keep refusing and it will stop knocking on your door

[MissMillie]

22. document everything

when you leave your desk, when you come back, and all the work you do that you're not getting paid for. Document EVERYTHING.

[Wapsie B]

10. I'd get several important projects up to a very crucial point,

and then leave him hanging. I'd find a way to make one of those jobs in LA or San Fran feasible.

[The Straight Story]

12. They are feasible, just don't want to leave the wife here for long periods of time

I am just about through with this damned state for a lot of reasons - should have stayed in Ohio :)

[Adsos Letter]

13. Are you in California? San Diego?

I have been through Ohio a couple of times...beautiful state!

[The Straight Story]

14. I am in Bakersfield

AKA the armpit of CA :)

[Adsos Letter]

15. I know Bakersfield...

my younger daughter's boyfriend's parents live there. Seems like the housing crunch hit pretty hard there...his dad worked for Pulte Homes, and I know they did a lot of laying off...it is WAY nicer up here (I'm in the Bay Area) if your family can swing the move...always room for another intelligent, politically aware couple.

[drmeow]

16. I'm typing while I think

so I don't know where this will go.

First - print all the e-mails and keep them, just in case.
Second - document every benefit you bring the company.

Those are the cover-your-ass steps.

Now the take care of your self parts.

Take his e-mails and cut and paste all the positive remarks into a single document. Print it out and post it somewhere you can see it from your desk. Review it periodically to remind yourself of what a great job you are doing - especially after a bad e-mail from him. Update it.

If you can get away with it, don't read his e-mails as soon as they come in. Get to the point where you can stop, grab a snack, have a smoke :), then come back inside and, if you are feeling strong, read the e-mail(s) then. Or set specific times during the day when you read his e-mails.

Print out his e-mails and use them to light your cigs or for other nasty purposes (like the bird cage). Or shred them.

Write (but obviously do not send) various inappropriate responses to his e-mails ... sarcastic, angry, ridiculing. Imagine his head exploding if you did send them to him.

Take a laptop outside when you go to smoke. Open it up and "work" intently. If he drives up, smile broadly and say how you hated tearing yourself away from the project you were working on so you brought your laptop out (so what if you aren't actually working on the project, you didn't say you were :))

Pick his e-mails apart. Correct his grammar. Imagine ways in which he could be projecting his own issues on you - for example, that first e-mail about how you smell like smoke and it makes his skin crawl - imagine he's projecting his own OCD. Think about what neurotic characteristic of him this response (and others) might reflect ... fear of dirt and how the thought of mites on his skin makes his skin crawl? His personality stinks and his own personality makes his skin crawl? Go crazy with it.

See if there is a pattern to his nasty e-mails. Do they come at certain times of the day? After certain things happen? Or are they just random? Create a database and classification/rating system for his e-mails. Play with ways of grouping them, analyzing them, etc.

This is one thing I did with my boss which was picked up (and modified) by a bunch of my co-workers. I joked that we needed a "Boss" alert system for him like the "Terror" alert system. After a meeting with him one of us might poke his/her head into the other's office to say "Man, he's a yellow today ... avoid him if you can." The employees under me have apparently modified it to just red/green and they IM each other as need - possibly just red light/green light without any reference.

[DCKit]

17. He doesn't love you, he loves abusing, debasing and terrorizing you.

You need to call him on this shit and start looking for another job.

Me: Fellow smoker who's worked plenty of shit jobs before.

[SOteric]

18. It's maybe time to see what other crap jobs are available.

Unless you think you'd like to continue this dance for another 10 or 15 years...?

[OmahaBlueDog]

19. Hold him up

I don't know how far you are from the key components of completion, but you could sit him down and say "Look, I've been offered a great gig up north, and I'm taking off; if you want this thing completed, I'll work as a consultant, and this is what it's gonna cost ya. If you hadn't been a flaming dick, it would have cost you half that. Otherwise, best of luck."

Or you could document (probably a waste of time, but we all need a hobby) and quit smoking (which, as I can attest, is a horrific bitch, but one I'd recommend).

[TZ]

20. That's a form of harrassment. Really.

You should talk to someone in HR or whomever is his boss. No one has the right to treat you like that. PS I am a rabid anti-smoker too, but thats just not right.

[drmeow]

26. I agree that it is harassment

and verbally abusive bullying but smokers are not a protected group so its not "officially" harassment and a company with 6 employees doesn't have an HR department

[LanternWaste]

21. For app. one month, document every smoke break you take.

For app. one month, document every smoke break you take. Go the extra mile and take 25% fewer smoke breaks. When this issue comes up again, show him your documentation and then request his. Request both formally and politely to review any an all complaints against you.

My experience in The Office is that documentation shuts up a busy-body-boss every single time.

[pitohui]

24. you won't get back your unemployement insurance if you quit the job

therefore i think you are going to have to quit the cigarettes

check to be sure, but we just had a story published where the woman worked for only ONE day and as a result lost 26 weeks of unemployment insurance and couldn't get it back

if you are hourly not sure why you are also working 3-1/2 hours without pay on a job where the dude is apparently already looking for reasons to let you go, you're just helping out a "dick" who is going to screw you over anyway and giving the bad guy a little extra bonus -- you are not getting any brownie points, you are actually letting yourself be mentally played so that you are giving up all of your free time and your lunch time because the guy has you so psyched out over being a smoker

why bother?

do the best you can during the time when you are paid and say "fuck it" to the rest is my advice -- take your lunch breaks, take your evenings off until such time as you are being paid not to take them

and try to give up the smokes if you can, if you can't, well, you can't do what you can't do obviously