I would like thank all of your for coming to my weekly PRESS CONFERENCE

[underpants]

Um yes you over there......please go ahead.....

[GOPisEvil]

1. Why have you stopped posting the angry undies?

[underpants]

6. I am sad to report that I have lost them

It happened over the last weekend.......I uh can't give any more details for national security reasons......but I will make my complete record available as soon as we finish uh putting it together

Okay over here.........

[GOPisEvil]

13. Mr. Underpants - a followup. When was the last time they were seen?

[underpants]

14. Seen?well I couldn't tell you the last time they were seen.....

When was the last time YOU saw them...huh?

I could tell you the last time I saw them....that is an established fact that cannot be refuted....

[izzie]

51. my guess is you ran into a Republican in the dark and he.......

robbed you right down to your great underpants.

[Fenris]

2. Mr. President, sir, how do you feel...

about fried chicken?}(

[underpants]

8. Depends what did they do?

:bounce:

[Fenris]

15. From what I hear, they clucked around.

[underpants]

24. Well if they are out getting baked or stewed they probably deserved it

and if I see them I promise to get down off my highhorse and do something about it....

[Richardo]

3. Is it true you actually wear tighty whities, not the boxers you claim to?

It's a simple question, I'd like a simple answer...

[underpants]

9. No it is not true that I don't wear boxers

I think that speaks for itself....

[demnan]

4. Does this mean you are no longer a briefs man?

[underpants]

10. No I have never not been a briefs man nor boxers for that matter

Look we have gone over this before this issue has been covered....

[felonious thunk]

5. Yes, I have a question:

I'm major important newsman Matt Drudge. I'd like to know if you have any ideas for increasing traffic to my very very important website, and also when did you start having sex with various men and women who are not your spouse or significant other?

[underpants]

11. I can see that you are an important newsman from your hat...

I might suggest posting pictures of these "Encounters" I hear that such things are popular in this new medium......

[felonious thunk]

18. I have a follow-up question:

Again, this is mega-super-important newmaker...er, ah, newsman Matt Drudge. You did not deny your sexual escapades, I therefore shall post a story, that has no source nor credibility, I'll use many exclamation points and vague references.

Thank you for the advice, I'll not stoop to violating important values by posting picturs of smut on my very very important web site.

Now, for validation purposes, can you please describe your genitals in detail?

[underpants]

20. I usually can't see them..........

when they are in detail.

[Richardo]

39. I'd like to point out that my colleague Mr Thunk has the funniest pic here

No question..

[felonious thunk]

40. Thank you. I'm very important

Would you like to describe your genitals in detail to me, major newsman Matt Drudge? Please? I'm ever so lonesome.

[Richardo]

44. Can you promise it will be a WORLD exclusive?

[felonious thunk]

48. Oh yes

Several times during my article, I'll mention that this is a WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!! by me, celebrity newsman Matt Drudge, and that anyone wanting to mention this story be sure to credit me, investigative superstar journalist, Matt Drudge.

[Pale Blue Dot]

7. Is there truth to the Drudge report that you had sex with Grovel bot?

[underpants]

12. Skinner and elad tend to be very protective of their Gimp

er Grovelbot excuse me...

[Pale Blue Dot]

16. A follow-up: Did you know that "Grovel bot" is in the DU Spellcheck?

And, just how cool is that?

[underpants]

19. Yes but the smilies aren't

Which is why our position which has always be very clear is that that part of DU needs to be privatized....

[Richardo]

17. Back to the underwear thing - have you ever turned the inside-out trick

and worn the same pair two days in a row?

[underpants]

21. Upside down yes but never inside out.......

That's morally wrong

[jono]

30. Mr. Underpants, would you support

a constitutional amendment codifying the definition of underwear as the union between one person and one garment worn right-side-out only?

[underpants]

42. There are no more unions in underwear manufacturing..

so I am not sure what you mean by that...

[StlMo]

22. Follow up question: How do you respond to rumors...

that you were seen consorting with crotchless panties that have now left the country?

[underpants]

28. Look I don't chase rumors......

[AZCat]

23. Mr. Underpants- if we could touch on this again...

When will we see previous pairs of underpants that you have worn?
Has your administration received those from the archives?

And do you have anything to say about the rumors that your administration is "scrubbing" or "cleaning" old pairs of underpants?

[underpants]

25. Please one question at a time.....

I believe that those were scoured several years ago.....

[AZCat]

32. But- Why won't you answer a simple 'yes or no' question?

All we've seen is a receipt from a laundry service from 30 years ago- but all it lists is 3 pairs of pants and 5 shirts cleaned.

When will we see proof that the underwear were, in fact, present at the laundromat during this period?

[underpants]

41. Well thanks to the incredible tech advances......

made byt the Republican controlled Congress int he 90's such discrepancies would not occur today.....I am sure that the undies were there as you can clearly see that a service was clearly paid...like I said we have been over this before........

[Richardo]

26. "Underpants" can be arranged to spell "Nuns depart". Care to comment?

[underpants]

29. If you can catch him I wil direct to the head of Health and Human Services

[Richardo]

35. I'm not sure I follow: "nuns depart". Also "ardent puns". Can you explain?

[StlMo]

37. Also: "Underpants" can be arranged to spell "pander nuts".

Are you pandering to male genitalia or is this yet another sign that you plan to clothe Panda Bears?

[underpants]

45. Uh that sounds like fuzzy english to me

Which I don't do....

[matcom]

27. Mr. Underpants!! Mr. Underpants!!

there is a rumor out on the Internet that during a college frat party, your underpants were missing for a period of time. it is further alleged that you were forced into a Toga during this same timeframe.

Mr. Underpants, can you explain the whereabouts of your underpants since NOBODY has actually come forth to VERIFY that your underpants were indeed, WITH YOU at all times?

Mr. Underpants??????

[underpants]

33. The time you are talking about was in my younger days

which was before today or this time which is now so that was then and I think we really need to talk and the 'Murkan people want us to talk about is the future.

[matcom]

36. but, Mr. Underpants!!!!

HOW can the 'Murican people TRUST you based on these allegations? if you can't manage your OWN UNDERPANTS, how can you tell the people that you can manage their wellbeing?

[underpants]

47. I do now but maybe not then....

which isn't now so people will have to determine....see it's not my place to manage people's lives for them only to manage as best I can in the leadership that I have shown against danger.

[DU GrovelBot]

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[underpants]

34. Hey ! No advertising without giving us our cut!!!!

Is this mic on?!?!?!

[name not needed]

38. Mr. Underpants! I have a very important question...

Boxers or Briefs?

[underpants]

43. Yes

Thank you

[matcom]

46. Mr. Underpants!!!

Your fly is open

[underpants]

49. THANK YOU see you next week

Zzzzzzzzzzzzip

[Bunny]

50. Mr. Underpants:

It's been reported (by a certain very important newsman) that you were seen cavorting around Virginia in a leopard-print thong. Can you confirm this cavorting, and if so, why leopard print? Why not a nice floral design?

[tigereye]

52. Have your underpants gone missing?

Or did you just decide that they were, in fact, too tight? And what effect will that have on the public at large? There is a bad pun here somewhere, but I am unable to think of it at this time.