OMG HELP >>>I am not sure if this cruise is going to be a hit...READ HERE PLEASEEEEEEEEEE

[greenbriar]

so we are leaving Sunday on a "romantic" cruise

I get a sinus infection on Tuesday. Get super-duper antibiotics Wed. Will be finished on Saturday

unfortunately I get side effects from antibiotics which will require another kind of medicine. I have planned for that one superduper pill boom...problem fixed...


SOOOOO

tonight hubby says maybe we should just cancel the fucking cruise if we can't have sex..



WTF????????

gebus

[lost-in-nj]

1. I really do not know what to tell you

that will be a decision you have to make....
think long and hard...
can you salvage the trip...
and the marriage...
oh god.... been there
done that....

but I want to let you know that I will send you some GOOD karma and thoughts

and A LOT of these
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:


lost

[TZ]

2. *sigh*

Sounds like the hubby is looking for an excuse *not* to go on this Cruise. Cause even if you can't have sex, there should still be a hell of a lot of things to do..Sorry to say this, but this smells like bs to me....

[greenbriar]

3. what smells like bs? don't ya know that if ya can't have sex, must not be love???

[SPKrazy]

4. Wow.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but geez, sex is good, but that sounds rather childish to say.

A cruise would be fun for both of you. A break from life, and possibly a chance to sort things out if it can be done.

I'm sorry Greenbriar.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

:(

[greenbriar]

5. I so agree and he makes SUCH a big deal of it

that it really kills the mood ya know???

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

7. Go without him?

If there's not going to be any sex anyhow you might as well go on the cruise and enjoy it. Let him stay home and pout.

[greenbriar]

13. there will be. I will be off all medicine after the first day

but he really is childish

[SPKrazy]

11. Ocelot has a point

:hug:

[greenbriar]

10. he has told me more than twice this week he expected it at least 7 times

on this cruise



I just want romantic hand holding walks in the sun and fun


with sex coming naturally out of love not expectation

[AlCzervik]

12. "He expects it 7 times" seriously? is that a demand thinly disguised as a request?

sorry GB but if he's serious thats beyond fucked up.

[greenbriar]

15. thats what I am saying

I don't know if he is serious or not

I am half inclined to think he is serious

[SPKrazy]

22. sounds fucked up

even as a joke

there is always some kind of background for an inside joke and that sounds demanding

[AlCzervik]

24. i agree, it sounds like a demand with a "Haha i'm just kidding...really i'm not kidding"

that would make me feel relly uncomfortable and really unhappy.

[AlCzervik]

6. you know what, maybe you should just cancel or---see if he wants to stay home

and you take a friend---or you stay home he takes one of his pals.

[greenbriar]

9. really its too late to change

I really am going to try to have a good time, but I can't take much more of his frikin insecurity bs or his demanding bs or his crap

[ThomCat]

8. I hope you feel better soon!

I think your husband is being a bit unsupportive if his big concern is not having sex on the cruise. Geez. :(

:hug:

[mainegreen]

14. What do you mean you can't have sex?

You can *so* have sex, just no, how do I put this... no finishing up one particular way. Otherwise, all sorts of sex avenues are open.

Sound like BS to me.

[greenbriar]

17. I know this

but it is moot anyway because Sunday all medicine and problems will be cleared up anyway



but what makes me the maddest is

not once have I heard

oh honey...how are you feeling...can I do anythign for you?

[Dangerously Amused]

16. Jeebus. Tell him he is welcome to hunker down in the cabin by himself and have all the sex he wants.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

18. Sounds like a good plan.

Hand him a jar of Vaseline and a copy of Hustler, then go up on the deck and lie in the sun while he has sex all damn day.

[Dangerously Amused]

23. Exactly. And not a word of concern for her well-being.

Dude sounds like a narcissistic control freak. I really hope this isn't - or doesn't turn into - an abusive relationship. Because I'm already seeing enough red flags to suggest it.

[oregonjen]

19. Please allow me to express something...

I tried several years ago to help a friend who was/possibly still is being verbally and physically abused. Her husband demanded she sleep with her top off, so he could fondle her at his pleasure. He expected sex on specific days and if she did not comply, he would verbally attack her and act like a complete asshole. He even got to the point that he was abusing the animals in the house and I was afraid it was moving to the children. There were several more examples of abuse I could write down, but I think you get the picture. I was so sad for her and was her only friend for a time because of course, he followed her every move and made sure she had no friends.

I tried to help her form a plan to leave, but she was so scared. She had young girls at the time and was terribly afraid of not being able to support them. I lost contact with her because he threatened her should she have any more contact with me and his threats worked.

Please, form a plan and leave. From reading your other posts, he is abusing you. Please leave and never look back.

[greenbriar]

20. I honestly believe he would NEVER hit me...and it would be easy to leave then

now...

its not so easy.




I am just hoping this cruise does one or two things




brings us close again


or proves it will never happen

[oregonjen]

21. Abuse is not just physical

I'm sorry you're going through this.

[cbayer]

25. I am pretty new to the Lounge,

but my sense is that you need to talk to someone other than people on this board.

No offense meant to anyone here.

It's just that your question is a really hard one, which no one else can answer for you.

[greenbriar]

26. yea, well if I had someone else to talk to I would...but I have friends here

and it is easier to talk to someone here becasuse there is no bias one way or another

[Tuesday Afternoon]

27. ~

:hug:

from what little you have posted about this situation...I would say your marriage is far beyond anything a cruise could save. To be honest I am not sure I would want to save a marriage him anyway. He is "bottles" away from being emotionally mature enough to be a good friend/husband.

just my .02

Sad to read this. I know you are hurting.

[greenbriar]

28. yes I am

I obviously still love him because this is sooooo hard


If I didn't love him, I would think it would be easy to leave

its not. I am hoping for a rekindling

[oregonjen]

29. But you can't CURE him. He is drinking and abusing

He has to help himself. I think in one of your other threads, Al-Anon was suggested. Have you contacted them?

[Haole Girl]

30. I am not even going to read this whole thread. I have one word for you, for next time:

Yogurt. :-)

[greenbriar]

31. antibiotics can be killers ~~

:)