Saint Taterguy is here to solve all your problems.

[taterguy]

Are you confused?
Perplexed?
Vexed?
Just bored?

Lay your problems on me and I'll solve them for you.

Unless I get distracted by something else in the meantime.

[Deja Q]

1. Horny. What'cha'gonna'do?

:spray:

[taterguy]

2. Recommend that you visit sites that cater to horny folks and live us pure pristine folks alone

[Deja Q]

11. You're good!

I'll head on over to GDP right away! :rofl:

[taterguy]

12. Don't forget to bring some lube

[GreenPartyVoter]

3. Please solve the strife-fest that is GD:P, please

[taterguy]

4. Don't go to GDP

Problem solved

There's strife everywhere but that doesn't mean you have to pay attention to it.

[GreenPartyVoter]

5. True, but as a Saint and all I expected you to be a peacemaker :^P

[taterguy]

6. Expect nothing and you shall not be disappointed

[GreenPartyVoter]

7. That's my own life motto. No one expects anything of me

[taterguy]

8. I hope that doesn't include yourself

If you expect to be worthless then you will be worthless

Crash Davis said something like that in Bull Durham so it must be true.

[GreenPartyVoter]

14. I'm pretty sure that's true

[taterguy]

15. My advice is definitely true

I'm a saint damnit!

And if you're feeling like you're worthless then you just aren't paying enough attention.

I don't know you but my silly idealistic side feels that everyone has value, even if it's well hidden.

[GreenPartyVoter]

17. Thanks. It's good to have some validation every now and then. (Cause you are right

I tend not to think very much of myself.)

[TZ]

9. I'm bored

Any suggestions?

[taterguy]

10. Listen to something in your music collection you haven't heard in a while

[Dr. Strange]

13. I have an idea for a new Spinal Cap album.

Work on some song titles and send them to me. I got some photoshopping to do.

[TZ]

16. Oooh.

Now there's an idea....I look forward to your next "masterpiece"!!!

[lizerdbits]

18. My boss is a psycho control freak

I like my job though. Make her quit please.

[taterguy]

20. I can't make anyone do anything

I can just use my powers of persuasion and since I doubt your boss lurks here I'm not sure how much help I can be.

Just because I'm a saint it doesn't mean I can do everything.

[lizerdbits]

23. Maybe I could get you her phone number

:rofl:

[taterguy]

31. Wouldn't work, everybody has Caller ID these days

Especially control freaks

[NewWaveChick1981]

19. I haven't won the lottery yet. Any suggestions?

:hi:

[taterguy]

25. If you could only own a mountain made of solid gold what difference would it make?

You'd just have more to break.

Those words of wisdom are lifted from the Los Lobos album How Will the Wolf Survive?

Which you should listen to:

RIGHT FUCKING NOW

[NewWaveChick1981]

26. Amen, Saint Taterguy...

:hi: :bounce: Getting out my Los Lobos vinyl album right now...

[trof]

21. How can I make my IRA last until I die?

Thank you.

[taterguy]

27. Take up smoking

That was easy

[Rosemary2205]

28. Damn you

another keyboard shot to hell............

[taterguy]

33. Are you sure you want to "Damn" a Saint?

And keyboards don't actually get harmed by bodily fluids

Or is that too much information?

[Rosemary2205]

34. ice tea

just when I thought it was safe to take a swig - POW - Saint tater made me LOL. :P

[trof]

29. I did that 50 years ago.

Still at it.
No plans to quit either, so eff off about all that.

[NewWaveChick1981]

22. Sounds like you bought your sainthood on the Internets.

:hi: :rofl:

[JVS]

24. Oh blessed St. Taterguy, intercede in my GD:P threads and help me to smite my foes!

Amen.

[taterguy]

30. You're welcome. Asshole!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=4988180&mesg_id=4992618

[JVS]

32. Thank you, your (ass)holyness

[taterguy]

35. Go in peace my son

After you vanquish and annihilate all your foes of course.