Breaking News: Conservatives to Create UberRepublicans

[Homer12]

Asinine Press - Tom Delay, leader of the House Republicans to unveil plan with South Korean scientist (the first to make a fully functioning cloned human embryos), to create the first UberRepublican using the technology. The plan calls for using traits from noted and famous Republicans and conservatives, which include: Arnold Schwarzenegger's Accent & Strength, Rush Limbaugh's ego, Shawn Hannity's voice, Ann Coulters physique, Karl Roves political prowess, and George W. Bush's expertise of the English language.

Delay went to point out that common traits shared by all contributing members already include a strong willpower, moral and ethical clarity, and a good down home Christian philosophy. The UberConservative should be ready by October and will have (his or Her) own AM Radio Show, a Show on Fox News, A movie Contract, as well as a congressional seat, Senate Seat, and will be the new Director of Homeland Security, not to mention GW Bushes running mate.

A reporter asked why Tom Delay changed his position on human cloning that it goes against his beliefs, Delay replied it didn't and gave no further answer or reason, but said this,

"The Uber Republican shall crush all political opposition. The left shall fall at the feet of our superman and put you all in camps were you will made to become good conservatives and Christians. A vast army of my supermen shall lay waste to all that oppose US, and we will become masters of the earth as GOD pre-ordained it!!!!!!"