how do you know when it's over and not just a bad patch

[Djinn]

when you're in a long-term relationship and you accept that when living together there's going to be times when you give each other the shits and times when things get dull, how do you decide it's not just a bad patch, that it's time to say adios?

[Blue-Jay]

1. You already know if you're not still in love.

It's just a waiting game of "Who's gonna say it first?"

[Coventina]

2. Hard to say....every couple is unique

There are a lot of factors to consider.


Is there any kind of abuse going on? Physical, mental, emotional, or substance?
That's a sure sign that the relationship needs to end.

[Djinn]

3. nope

I don't think I'm ever going to be in that situation - the kind of guys who like beating up on or belittling women don't tend to go after me - I have a theory that no matter how much bigger than you a guy is (I'm pretty small) they have to sleep sometimes and that's when I'd recreate the Bobbitt incidence, only I'd stick it in a insinkerator or feed it to a dog not tell the cops where to find it -

there's not really even any fighting - just a kind of boredness which I can't work out if it's real or if I'm just making drama's where they don't exist - something I have been accused of occasionally as I can be a wee bit of a drama queen

[Coventina]

5. From what you are telling me....

I would say that the problem lies in yourself.

The older I get, the more I've learned that boredom is an internal problem, not an external one.

Try to find out why you are bored with your partner. Once you locate where the ennui is coming from, you can decide if you want to make the changes in yourself that will impact the relationship. The impact may be positive or negative, by the way. You may end up by ending the relationship. Or, you may rediscover why you fell in love in the first place, and take the relationship to a new level.

[Don_G]

4. There Are So Many Factors Involved

That the 13 Words in your line subject and the 47 in the body of your message dosen't adequately cover.

If you think it's for the best, cut your losses now. If not and you think there may be a long-term future, then look for someone that can give you professional advice.

[SOteric]

6. Every situation is unique.

I tend to pull out a simple yardstick for such evaluations: do I feel like I'm better off in the relationship or better off out of it. When the answer slides toward the out of it, I make it so.