Re: Virgin Olive Oil...How do they know?

[MilesColtrane]

The olive is a randy little fellow who scarcely strays from the subject of the you know what.

It's considered randiest of the oleaceae.. This hot-blooded little morsel with its shiny exterior is always on the job. Its extra-marital activities are something startling..
It's a loose-living lamiale. This shameless little libertine with its characteristic pinnately-veined laminae is not the marrying kind: 'Anywhere anytime' is its motto. Formed on the branch and they're at it.
This tatty, scrofulous old rapist, is second in depravity only to the common date. This latter is a right whore, a harlot, a trollop, a cynical bed-hopping firm-breasted Rabelaisian bit of fruit that makes Fanny Hill look like a dead Pope...

So, how do they know?

[Gonzo Gardener]

1. It contains only the bodily fluids...

from the first pressing? :shrug:

[leeroysphitz]

2. They only pick unmarried catholic olives.

Duh!

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

3. It's Just One Of Those Things You Can Tell When You Stick Your Toothpick In It.

Just has a different kinda 'feel' to it...

[MilesColtrane]

4. So when you get the feeling you're throwing a hot dog down a hallway you know you've been had?

[rug]

5. It's made from olives that haven't been stuffed with pimento.

[MilesColtrane]

6. Is that what the kids today are calling it?

"Stuffing the pimento"?

[PeaceNikki]

7. They all attended the "Father Daughter Purity Ball" and wear chastity rings

[Generic Brad]

8. The bottle has a chastity belt protecting the cap.

And I think it is bottled at the Abstinence plant.

[Oeditpus Rex]

9. They ask it

"Virgins don't lie."

—Arthur Fonzarelli

[Connonym]

10. Pelvic exam

[petronius]

11. They show it a picture of a stamen. If it blushes, they figure it's a virgin

If it says "what's that?" then it goes in the EVOO batch...

[JVS]

12. What do they call the "bad" olive oil?