9:30 am on a Saturday is NOT the time to sell religion door-to-door.

[flvegan]

Yep, got the <insert whatever the hell folks still go door to door here> selling salvation on my street this morning. Big group covering what appears to be 4 generations. They're not having much luck, I don't think. But then, like I said, 9:30 am Saturday isn't when you'll get folks at their best nor most open mindset.

For the record, they didn't even open the gate to my fence to come NEAR my house. Heh heh...woof woof.

[Ekirh]

1. Had a couple of Jehovas. .

Try to enter the yard one morning.. with the Commie Dog standing right there growling at them.

If my Grandma hadn't seen them trying to enter the yard . .(By the way.. we have a fence.. the Jehova's were trying to unlock the gate to get in.. that is what was really pissing the dog off).. it might of gotten ugly. (The Shar Pei's a sweety.. he just hates intruders)

[flvegan]

4. My Snottweiler just sat at the screen door...watching.

Since my big boy passed on, he's made it his life's mission to guard me at all times.

He wasn't making any noise, but the action from his tail was very "you feelin' lucky, punk?"

I have "Beware of Dog" signs posted at every gate. Glad folks heed the message.

[KitchenWitch]

7. How is the new adoptee?

[flvegan]

20. She's doing GREAT, thanks! We just took

her e-collar off a couple days ago. Huge "seam" up her midsection, but she's lively and alert and happy.

[ashling]

18. Why heed signs when

you've got God watching over you. :sarcasm:

[RainDog]

2. No time is ever the right time for that stuff for me

If I can, I don't even bother to open the door. If they get to that point, I open the door, say no thanks, and shut the door. I should get a "no soliciting" sign for my house.

[NewWaveChick1981]

3. That's happened to us too. But the NWC Attack Dogs take care of any strangers...

:rofl: :yoiks: Our dogs always alert us if someone is coming up the driveway or the steps, and we usually look out one of the windows to see who it is. I do NOT open the door to anyone I don't know, and our dogs are always on the inside of the door making a satanic fuss. The Jehovahs or whoever they are never ring the doorbell twice for some unknown reason. :shrug: :rofl: It's even funnier when I let the dogs out in the back yard---then the Devil Hounds can screambark at them in person (but they're behind a fence, of course). :rofl: There are usually copies of the Watchtower strewn all over the yard as they bolt.

[ashling]

5. Your subject line implies that there is an appropriate time

to sell religion door to door . . . so when is it? I suggest 10:30 AM When hell freezes over.
:rofl:

[RubyDuby in GA]

15. Too true!

She will always open the door for them, but before they can begin the selling she says "if you have to peddle religion door to door, it can't be worth much" then slams the door in their face.

Ah my mom...gotta love her :)

[LeftyMom]

6. Your dogs are scary, so you can just go to hell.

Not very dedicated evangelists, are they? :rofl:

[TZ]

8. I have to say this is one of the areas that dogs are superior

to cats in. I wish I could train my cats to be attack cats with these folks..but sadly the doorbell scares them into hiding.x(

[harmonicon]

9. I'm not so sure of that - I think it may be the most effective time

When I woke up today a little before 9, I had a pretty massive hangover.... I'd say if I were to ever find religion, having it offered as a cure for the complete misery I was suffering for the bulk of the day would be what could do it..... and there's no way I could have protested. I would have welcomed them in if only they'd agree to make coffee and not turn the lights on.

[Gonzo Gardener]

10. Wow. Just...wow! ( Subject line dedicated to DS1)

You've inspired me to fence in my entire lot, flvegan! :D

I love how Rottweilers just sit and wait for it to come to them... no warning bark. They are absolutely my favorite breed!

[flvegan]

26. And he's an old soul, too.

Picked him up off the streets 4 or so years ago. He's rottie and a touch of shar-pei. Helluva bark in him when he lets go.

[DarkTirade]

11. In your case, being a rather large and somewhat imposing fellow, you totally could have had some fun

with them. :evilgrin:

[RubyDuby in GA]

12. I got my last visit on the Saturday after election day in 2004

I opened the door at 8am!!! and the old guy didn't say hello or any other greeting like that. He yelled at me "Do you want to go to HELL?"
I can't believe I pulled it together enough to say "if it gets me away from assholes like you, then yes!" and slammed the door in his face. His poor little old wife looked quite stunned when I peered back through the glass. They didn't move so I yelled through the door that they had exactly 60 seconds to get off my property before I released the hound (they didn't need to know that the hound that was barking his head off was actually a mini dachshund. He sounds pretty big) :)

I immediately ordered this, put it on my door and don't have these visitors anymore:



This might be more in line with what you want though:

[billyskank]

13. Door-to-door religion salesman.

I imagine a guy with a briefcase full of religions. What can I get for you? I have Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, Zoroastrianism, you won't find better prices anywhere! I got a special offer going today on New Age, I'll even do a discount just for you, don't tell nobody - I don't do that for everyone.

[MonkeyFunk]

14. Last week

I had Unitarians knock on my door for no particular reason.

[LeftyMom]

16. This is why you need your argumentative and easily amused girlfriend over more often.

I start talking to these people about their diet. :D

[billyskank]

21. That's only fair.

I'll trade you one (insert religion here) for one veganism.

[flvegan]

22. I used to insist they take copies of "Why Vegan" with them?

This was at the old house: no fence.

I'm teh evil like that.

[billyskank]

24. That's not evil.

It's perfectly reasonable. I'll agree to take your literature if you agree to take mine.

[LeftyMom]

23. What can I do to put YOU in a shiny new Veganism today? {/car salesman}

(I stole this joke.)

[lizerdbits]

17. I have yet to get up the nerve

to tell them about my loving relationship with the Lord of Darkness. It's a lie, but I'd like to see their faces after that.

[Wcross]

19. I found a pamphlet from the Jehovah's witness's on my gate once.

Apparently they didn't want to share their beliefs enough to walk the 200 yards from the road to the house. I guess all the dogs here may have influenced them a bit. Good doggies!

[The Animator]

25. I just answer the door in a fog of groggyness..

and tell them that I don't do human sacrifices until at least 11:30..