How often do you call or visit your parents (or parent)?

[Raven]

[GOPisEvil]

1. Uh oh...is someone in trouble? I see my folks weekly.

Unless I have to work late or they are traveling.

[Bluzmann57]

2. Ah man...

now you made me feel bad. My folks are in Texas(retirees) and I rarely contact them when they are there. Now I have to call or write them. Or email them. And I need to go over to mother in laws too.

[latebloomer]

3. I talk to my mother every day.

She's 78, a widow and lives alone.

Although sometimes it feels like a chore, I do it to make her happy.

[proud patriot]

4. Talk to my parents minimum once a week

usually more often . See them much less .

[populistmom]

5. Honestly, I'm sure this doesn't apply to you, but...

Not everyone's parents treat them well. Some are or have been abusive in one way or another and perhaps still are in some ways. So for many of us, sadly, it's as little as possible. I wish to God it didn't have to be like that though. :(

[fudge stripe cookays]

25. It's OK, PM

My mom and I have one of the most F'd up relationships ever.

When I was around 15, she told me she wished that I'd choked on my umbilical cord.

Only several months ago, she threatened to kill me when I was late sending her Mother's Day present. (instead of $1.75 card, I was in the process of getting her a package at a day spa).

Needless to say, she not only didn't get the spa day, but we didn't speak for several months.

[Nikia]

26. I know what you mean

It is so difficult to really forgive a parent with all those bad memories when they start meanly criticizing you when you do try to reach out again.
I feel for you and all the rest of us who have issues with our parents that cannot be healed because there are still issues.

[KG]

35. i'll share my mom with ya.

she won't mind, she's got tons of love.

[populistmom]

51. Thanks, KG. Some days I need one.

I've never even had a mother-in-law since she died when my husband was 10. My own mom is just one sad person basically and it took me until I was 30 I think to finally begin to realize that I wasn't really the awful, ugly person she claimed I was was. I'm glad my dad gave me an ounce of self-esteem which seemed to get me through rougher times.
At least I took certain lessons and am a better mom myself now. More sensitive to their feelings anyway. I don't understand why someone would want to hurt their own children physically or emotionally. Just not in my realm of understanding.

[LynneSin]

6. If I don't call my mother at least once every other day

She'll call and leave a message on my voice mail wondering if I'm dead and if she should call 9/11 to get my dead body.

mothers

[bif]

7. I call my dad about once a week. More or less.

When he's down in Florida for the winter.

[SOteric]

8. I see my dad two or three times per week on average.

I saw him more often just after mum died. He had a difficult time just functioning and really needed some folks in his life.

In actuality I suppose we connect just about every day in some form or another.

I have been richly blessed in having truly great human beings in my family.

[supernova]

9. When they were alive, once a week

usually. It was a comfort to be on sort of a schedule. They knew I would call and wouldn't worry. Sunday afternoons were our usual time to talk. I still think of them them especially on Sunday afternoons. Funny how you can train yourself.

I visited at least monthly, more often if I was nearby. I couldn't visit as often when I lived far away. Mom and I especially were best friends, and we did a lot of things together, just because.

:cry: I still miss her. :cry:

[MaineDem]

19. (HUG) (nt)

[brook]

42. I relate to that.

I used to call my parents every Sunday. After they died, for quite some time, I'd think I needed to call and then remember, there was no one there any more. (Once, my sibling remonstrated with me because I called going to see our parents "Going home". Wherever they were was always home to me).

[VelmaD]

10. Will's in trouble...Will's in trouble

:-)

Seriously though, I talk to my momma at least 3 or 4 times a week and to my dad nearly that often (it depends on whether he's at home when I'm talking to mom). Heck I've talked to my mom twice just today.

I probaly see my parents on average about once every 6 weeks or so. Sometimes more often. It's a 4 hour drive from Austin to Greenville or I'm sure I'd see them more. I actually like my parents. :)

So...are you gonna use the results of this survey to harass Will? :) 'Cause you know I'm always willing to help with that kind of thing. :evilgrin:

[geniph]

11. About once every five years or so

we're not exactly close.

[woofless]

12. Ah, would that I could.

The last time I talked to my Dad was Thanksgiving 2002. He was fine he said and we pledged to see each other in the coming year, Hell or high water. He lived in Fl and we in Idaho. He comitted suicide the following Tuesday. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.

I plead with all of you out there who are somewhat estranged from your immediate family to take the step and mend the fence. We are all but a heartbeat away..........

Woof

[gyopsy]

13. Once a week

you really can't go wrong with that.

[camero]

14. I bought my house for my mom

It's a good thing because if I hadn't and since my SO left me when she found out I had diabetes (when I was in the hospital no less), I would be up the creek totally.

Never ever tell a prospective partner that you're sick. Though it would get out eventually but I keep being honest with them like a dunce. :dunce:

[IronLionZion]

33. wow that's so shallow

You don't need someone like that. She should like you for who you are not for your health.

Diabetes runs in my family but I don't have it.

[camero]

37. Blessing in disguise

I can laugh about it now but then it kinda was a downer. Alot of people are not educated on these kind of things and they think you are somehow tainted.

I have a good time even with alot of the new people I meet until I tell them that I have this. Then I'm avoided like the plague. Call it Darwin I guess.

I'm just in a real shit mood today. Maybe I shouldn't post but I was gonna ask in a new thread if I should hide this fact.

[Kat45]

41. Wow! I find that surprising that people think that way.

I've known a lot of folks with diabetes and I don't think it's a big deal at all. I used to be interested in a guy, and when I found out he had epilepsy, I was STILL interested in him--and epilepsy is a lot bigger a deal than diabetes. (That is past tense because it turned out he wasn't interested in me.)

[camero]

43. You're right. Epilepsy is a bigger deal.

It's a matter of education I think. Fear of the unknown. It sounds like you have had a broad range of experiences that have made your life richer. It's just a good thing that some of the things I did for others prior to that have helped me today.

[KCDem]

15. I talk to them every several days

and visit a few times a year. It's a thousand mile drive... otherwise, I'd be guilted into doing it more often.

[catmandu57]

16. I'd like to say never

believe me it's for the best.

[slack]

17. never

there are *%$$%".

[adriennel]

18. pre/post retirement

Before they retired, I saw my parents almost every weekend.
now they are retired and flitting all around the world, I don't see them as often...but they call me every other day!

[matcom]

20. WILL DOESN'T LOVE YOU RAVEN!!!

:P

but *I* on the other hand just LOVE your meatloaf!!!! :D

*ducking - just kidding of course*

:bounce:

[MaineDem]

21. I call my mother about every day

Always have. We visit every few weeks. (I took her to a Kerry rally last week.) She's 84 and very strong and I always assume she'll be around forever.

My husband calls his mother about once a week...maybe.

[dweller]

22. Weekly visit

They are about 30 minutes away, and have just moved into a house 1/4 mile from my sister. They were more like an hour away until early last year, my dad (80yrs) was misdiagnosed with congestive heart failure. Turned out it wasn't and my sister had already read the parents the riot act to get into town near her in case they needed emergency whatever.
They have for the past 30+ years lived in the beautiful countryside in a sweet house on 8 acres that my dad and i built back, well 30 years or so ago.
Problem is, now they have 2 houses, and i'm traveling over 2-3 times a week working on the country home gettting it ready to sell. It helps to be unemployed as i am with ample carpentry skills. So i've seen them more than usual lately.

The house repair situation was abruptly halted last Thanksgiving when my dad had emergency open heart surgery, triple bypass, and he pulled through with flying colors so far. Is in a rehab program with exercise, and the doctor should release him to normal activities any day. Funny thing is, most people think he's 20 years younger than he is to look at him, so are quick to react to his heart surgery with anectdotes about 30 and 40 year old people they know who had the bypass surgery and he made it longer without it and when he tells them his age they are astounded. He's really a healthy old fart.
All this has done is slow him down a bit, which is good. But now he's planning new additions on the new home. Guess i've got my work cut out for me. :)

sorry to ramble on, i guess my answer could have been 'all the time' at the time.

dp

[CO Liberal]

23. I Can't Call or Visit Them

Dad died in 1991 - Mom in 1998.

:-(

[ornotna]

39. My parents are gone too

:hug:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

24. Tried to call my mom today...she wouldn't speak to me...

Let me explain something about my mom. She's an alcoholic. She called me drunk on Sunday to ask me why I never want to talk about how wonderful my dead sister was. I said, well, I don't ever want to talk about her with you because the only time you ever want to talk about her is when you're drinking. And she got mad. I then said, why do you ask me these questions, wanting an honest answer, knowing you'll just get pissed if you don't get the answer you want? I also said something about not wanting to grieve 24/7 like she does(it's been 4 years) and I have to get on with my life. SHe said rudely I'm sorry I called, and hung up on me. This crap happens once or twice a week. I'm used to it, but it still pisses me off that she won't talk to me.
Duckie

[Liberal Christian]

30. Duckie ... get caller ID

Sober, my mom is one of the most fascinating, interesting, generous, and amazing people I know. Drunk, it's a different story.

My mom was a late-night phone calling kind of drunk. She would put us through hell on the phone and conveniently fail to remember a thing about it in the morning. I eventually learned to learn when it was Mom talking and when it was alcohol talking. I simply refused to be present in a conversation when alcohol was involved.

I learned not to answer the phone after dark when it was my Mom. She rarely calls anymore at night, but when she does, I listen to her message and call her back in the morning. I don't care if she's sober; I still don't talk to her at night.

It's ok to draw a boundary and keep to it. Healthier for you and for the longterm health of the relationship.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

38. Can't get it here in the dorms...

I wish we could.
Duckie

[chefgirl]

27. At least every other day

That is, I used to when I was lucky enough to still have them.
I had wonderful parents who I adored. Nothing was ever too much for one of their kids. Boy, they just don't make 'em like that anymore.

Sadly, my Dad died Feb 15, 2002, and my Mom died of lung cancer exactly one month ago.
I was on my way to her house (an eight hour drive) to stay with her and take care of her, as we knew the end would be soon. We just didnt know how soon. She slipped into unconsciousness two hours before I got there, and died two hours after I got there. I had just talked to her that morning too about how much fun we were going to have just being able to hang out together.
I would give anything to be able to hug my Mom just once more.

Guys, call your Moms and Dads, if you still can, and tell them you love them. You will never be sorry you did.

-chef-

[Burma Jones]

28. I call my Dad every week or so, My Mom about three times a year

In MY divorced family, it was Dad who did the right thing....

[Bertha Venation]

29. Never.

I'm a lesbian. He's a fundamentalist. 'nuff said.

My mom's dead nearly 30 years, but I talk to her far more often than to my dad.

[REP]

46. Your Father's Loss

I know you know that, but thought it'd be good to hear from someone else with six cats.

[Bertha Venation]

47. Thanks for the chuckle!

I needed one this morning.
:yourock:

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[annonymous]

32. My Mom calls me about once a week.

I visit her about six times a year. I wasn't close to my dad at all and avoided him whenever possible when I moved out on my own. He died in 2001.

[IronLionZion]

34. I call about twice a week

they want me to call every other day but that's too much for me.

[truthspeaker]

36. mom: calls me weekly dad: once per quarter

If I don't hear from Mom by Sunday I'll usually call her. But not always. It's rare that we go more than three weeks without a phone call. Also exchange email at least weekly, sometimes daily.

[clyrc]

40. I call about once a week

it is sometimes an exercise in masochism. I haven't seen my parents in two and a half years, but this summer I will visit them again.

[Hogarth]

44. I don't like my mom ...

... so I never call her, and haven't seen her since my kid brother's funeral a year and a half ago. Everything (in her mind) is all about her, including the death of a son.

I love my father, and call and visit as often as I can (We're states apart.).

Both are in their seventies, and they split up long ago ... no wonder.

[REP]

45. 5-6 Times a Week

I talk to my mother most days. We usually bitch about Shrub. We're 2,000 miles away from each other, but long distance calls have gotten pretty cheap. I talk to my brother a couple times a month or more (but for *hours*) and he sends the occasional odd email, like one of Dean eating kittens.

I never talk to my father - he's been dead for ten years.

[onebigbadwulf]

48. If I had the option- never

:)

[skippysmom]

49. E-mail about every other day

We talk about once a week, and we either visit them or they visit us maybe once a month.

But we actually like my parents -- we have bitch sessions about the current administration.

My husband calls his parents once a week and we see them maybe 5-6 times a year. But they live 4 1/2 hours away, while my parents are only 2 1/2 hours away.

[terrya]

50. I call my mom once a week. eom