A-Schwarzenegger, please tell us more about Oscar

[prolesunited]

I need a fix bad. It's trying times like these that we need something to believe in.

Maybe this could be a Tinkerbell-like thread — clap if you believe in Oscar and perhaps he'll come back to life.

Anybody with me?

[The Backlash Cometh]

1. Not a clue

I'm coming up with nothing.

[prolesunited]

2. Here's some clues

I wasn't a believer at first, just turned up my nose on the whole thing, but there is a quiet wisdom there that draw you in if you let it.

I inherited a mixed animal from Uncle living in woods.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=624815

The Tao of Oscar
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=663920

[brook]

3. I am with you.

A day without Oscar is a day half-lived...or half-shelled... (or something like that).:hi:

[prolesunited]

4. I thought Oscar had more fans here

Where are they? :shrug:

[A-Schwarzenegger]

5. He's in detox at Betty Ford.

He returned from Shanneee's farm with a
gargantuan jones for lutefisk. Lutefisk
is apparently a form of Minnesota eel which
washes up dead on the banks of Lake Michigan,
is then soaked in gasoline, frozen, and finally
eaten as a popsicle snack. Lutefisk are banned in
our village, but he brought a good supply home
in his backpack to salve his addiction. After
a few days I began to smell something that
reminded me of the time I left a sack of cabbage
tamales in my glove compartment for a month. Oscar
was out at the time, so I followed my nose, found
the lutefisks, melting and mol;dy and oozing in his
bureau under some mixed animal magazines, and flushed
them down the pot, the lutefisk not the magazines.
He returned, looking like Rush Limbaugh, his nose
running, his overcoat covered in alley slime, his
eyes sunken and Kafka-like, his fur flat as a
lumberjack's doormat. Without even greeting me,
he rushed into his room and locked the door. I could
hear him fumbling madly through his bureau, and
then an Oscar shriek that tore my heart in two like a
telephone book. He realized his lutefisk was gone.
I immediately called my friend Betty Ford and had
him enrolled. He is fighting recovery every inch
of the way, but Betty says those are the kind of
rebels that really get it when they get it. Other
than that, nothing to report.

[radwriter0555]

6. I heard he was jonesing so bad that courtney love left....

poor thing.

Oscar. Not Courtney.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

13. That wasn't Courtney Love.

That was a Courtney Love impersonator.
He--Oscar, that is--fell into questionable
company while pursuing his drug of
choice in areas of ilk repute. Not that there's
anything wrong with Courtney Love impersonators,
or cross dressing of any kind, or ilk repute
even. But I don't perfer to have my mixed
animal dating one/them, or even hanging around
smoking and chatting about Camus, which is
what O says was all that was going on. I told
him, "You know what, I don't want to know about
it. Keep your sordid details to yourself. But
as long as I'm paying the bills around
here, you'll toe the line or the door'll hit
your mixed butt on the way out." At which point
he pulls a wad of 20s the size of a jar of
French's mustard out of the pocket of his plaid
cape and slaps it on the table. He must have
been dealing or something shady because he doesn't
even have a Social Security card. Then he gives me a
look like "Your move, Pop" and starts moving a
quarter around in between his fingers or claws or
whatever they are, like some kind of mixed riverboat
gambler in his cape and this damn purple beret he
picked up in Minneapolis. I told him, Money doesn't
impress me, but good manners does. He farted, then
corr4ected my grammar. This was all before Betty
Ford. He called me last night from there. Says
he's learned plenty at the clinic. Says him
and some "gal" he met there are thinking of
starting a private detective agency. Aren't we all.
He's due home from Betty's tomorrow. Hopefully,
the detox will take. I don't need a mixed juvenile
delinquent animal lutefiskhead around here. I got
plenty enough troubles of my own.

[Bunny]

18. OMG - A_! Stop! You're killing me!

I'm sitting in my office cackling like a great big (disease-free) chicken over Oscar's latest adventure. You are absolutely cracking me up. :crazy:

[prolesunited]

8. That sounds absolutely awful!

Tell Oscar my best wishes are with him for a speedy recovery.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

14. I don't know about speedy.

Although oddly enough, the gal he met
at Betty Ford's, her name is Speedy.
In any case, I anticipate a prolonged
recovery, with regular LA meetings for
as far as the eye can see.

[TrogL]

9. "mixed animal magazines" - that sounds kinky

...or dangerous.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

15. I try to go by live and let live.

Mixed animal layouts are not my thing,
but I must admit the pictorials were
rather tasteful.

[brook]

10. Well thank goodness!

Not that Oscar's in rehab - but that he's back here at DU - so to speak.

Wouldn't ya just know that Betty'd take him in? Bless ol' Betty. I mean - to know Oscar is to love him but it was just wunnerful for Betty to make room in her star-studded pschyodelicious emporium - I just hope Gerry doesn't mistake him for a golfball in the cafeteria.

Stay oblong Osc! We need you back here!

[A-Schwarzenegger]

16. Actually, Betty wanted him to stay on

as a intern counselor. She says she sees
"the porchlight of Tao" in his "ambiguous philosophy"
and his "brash but delicate beatnik demeanor."

[jukes]

11. Kicking

cause the big O rox!


also, wanted to check my star!!!!!


:bounce:

[northofdenali]

7. Perhaps, after Oscars DU debut, he needed some time alone.

After feverishly building his device in the attic, and all the admiration and speculation from DU'ers, he may have needed some down time?

Oscar, we miss ye!

[A-Schwarzenegger]

17. Yes, he needed some down time.

Down in the alley with the tombstone blues,
that is. He hit his bottom while imbibing
a gasoline-soaked eel popsicle and trying
to light a French cigarette. Not too swift.
But he's getting better all the time.
By the way, what is your nick mean or from?
A village in Alaska?

[eileen_d]

12. kick for an Oscar update

:kick: