Those of you who are in a fledgling or now stable relationship...

[jadedconformist]

...did you initially have to play mind games/hard to get to keep the mystery/intrigue alive? Did he or she?

[Midlodemocrat]

1. What?

If you have to play mind games, I don't the relationship is particularly stable.

[jadedconformist]

4. What I mean by "mind games"

...is playing "hard to get" to a certain degree.

[Midlodemocrat]

I never did that. Never felt as though I needed to.

[jadedconformist]

5. I'm talking about before there was a relationship--n/t

[taterguy]

2. No

[MrCoffee]

3. LMFAO

Mystery? Intrigue? :rofl: :spray: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I've been married to MrsCoffee for almost 10 years. The only mystery is where the car keys are hiding, and the only intrigue is...well, there isn't any.

[Midlodemocrat]

6. Hehe. We've been married for almost 19. The only mystery is what's for dinner.

[AlCzervik]

10. lol, sounds like my house.

[jadedconformist]

8. LOL. n/t

[MrCoffee]

14. For whatever it's worth, the only couples I've ever known who play "mind games"

do so because they're utterly and completely incompatible with each other.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. My dear jadedconformist!

My husband and I have never played mind games/hard to get things to keep the mystery alive!

And we've been married for 42 years!

We love one another, and we make sure to tell each other this, and to show it as well...

In bed, and out of it...

Passion makes everything worthwhile, IMHO...

[MrCoffee]

9. CaliforniaPeggy...

I think I love you!


You always give the sagest advice. You're fantastic, you know that?


:hi:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

11. My dear MrCoffee!

Woah......

I hear you, sweetie...

Perhaps I've lived long enough, and seen enough of human nature, to know a couple of things...

Passion and love are two things I'm acquainted with...

Thank you nonetheless...

:hug:

[jadedconformist]

12. Thank you, CaliforniaPeggy

That gives me hope. I now believe in love again and will immediately cease the writing of creepy, gothy poetry and the slitting my wrists. O8)

[hippywife]

13. Nope.

Coming up on 11 years shortly and never a mind game played by either one of us. When it's right, you really do know it without all the reservations and doubts that usually haunt fledgling relationships. There's a level of comfort and ease you've never known with anyone else in your life.

People used to tell me that they knew the person they were going to marry right off the bat when they first got to know them. I thought that was absurd! But then it happened to me.

Good luck! :hi:

[jadedconformist]

25. that is awesome. thanks for the insight. n/t

[Orsino]

15. No.

I never enjoyed games in previous relationships, and am now completely spoiled. I get all the mystery and intrigue I could want waiting to see what will come out of my wife's amazing mind next.

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. Mind games are for jackasses and idiots, not people who want a functional relationship.

So, no - there were no mind games. I would have told her to go fuck herself.

[petronius]

17. We played a lot of Trivial Pursuit - I suppose that's a mind game

Other than that, no...

[LeftyMom]

18. Hell motherfucking no.

[Adsos Letter]

26. I consistenly have trouble figuring out where you stand on issues...

:rofl:

[LeftyMom]

29. It's because I'm shy, isn't it.

:blush:

[Adsos Letter]

31. ...yes...um...shy...

and unclear in your thesis statement...

:D

[Road Scholar]

19. The girl I married made her dresses from feed sacks. Her family

was below poverty level. But she was the most perfect creature I had ever met. I was a stray dog, with no plans for the future.I came from below poverty level too. She was the valedictorian at her high school class and she got her B.S in 3 years all on scholarships.I went to school and worked full time at night.I finally got an engineering degree, later a contractors license.She got her masters and became an administrator for the school system here. We were married 45 years ago on Feb. 22 1963. There were no mind games.She is still the most perfect creature I ever met.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

21. Got my vote for Best Post of The Day --

dayum that is a beautiful thing!

[Road Scholar]

22. Thank you.I could write a book. In fact I've started one for the

kids and grandkids.

[jadedconformist]

27. That's great to hear...

I wish more people were able to so readily find their soul mates.

[SallyMander]

34. What a lovely story!

And congrats on your upcoming anniversary! :toast:

:hi:

[Fleshdancer]

20. no. I don't think mind games is worth it anyway

Then again, I don't understand the need some people have for mystery and intrigue. If that's what I want, I'll read a mystery novel. Relationships on the other hand thrive on communication and a genuine interest in your partner and vice versa. If you're not honest about who you are, then what's the point?

[enigmatic]

23. no

And it's one of the main reasons we were attracted to each other in the first place, and continue to be very much in love 7 years later..

[Bassic]

24. No

If mind games there had been, a wedding there would not.

[kwassa]

28. A good relationship has no games. That's the best part.

You are well-matched when you meet each other, and you both recognize it.

[u4ic]

30. No

Personally, I find mind games or playing hard to get a total turn off. If it seems like my feelings aren't reciprocated, I lose interest and back away.

At the beginning, I think it is not that unusual to not open up fully, testing the waters so to speak, and building trust. But that's totally different.

It might be worth looking at whether or not you're really ready for a relationship if you're doing this; if mystery/intrigue/novelty/holding back is that important to you. Two interesting people should be able to create an interesting relationship without having to play games. One doesn't need to play mind games to prevent boredom or stagnation.

[Pale Blue Dot]

32. ....

:rofl:

My wife and I were absolutely direct and honest about everything. Anything else is a recipe for failure.

[SarahB]

33. So, should I be honest about my intestinal issues this weekend?

:P

[Pale Blue Dot]

35. Sure. I'm 200 miles away.

Go ahead and stink up the house. :P

:loveya: