Jesus Saves!

[Superfly]

My question is: what, exactly does Jesus save?

[PVnRT]

1. Gretzky scores on the rebound

n/t

[youngred]

6. dammit

beat me to it

[KamaAina]

10. Upon review, the referees have awarded the goal to Satan

That'd be Miroslav Satan (actually pronounced "Sha-TAHN", of the Buffalo Sabres.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/players/666

That's right, his bio is #666.

Also note that cool little goatee...

:evilgrin:

[MaineDem]

24. I was going to say Esposito

A saying I've known for eons. :)

[LynneSin]

33. Jesus SAAAVVVEEESSSS

[GOPisEvil]

2. Jesus saves - he uses coupons!

:evilgrin:

[Fenris]

3. Diverse portfolio - Jesus is a smart investor

Ask him about his shares of Microsoft; he bought at 0 in 28 AD!

[EstimatedProphet]

4. 48 MPG Highway, 41 MPG City!

:)

[Aristus]

5. JESUS SAVES!

And so can YOU, at Fidelity Mutual. Open an account today! :-)

I'm so awful. I shouldn't be doing this. ;-)

[DinahMoeHum]

7. by shopping wisely and using double coupons !!

Buttons/stickers available at: www.evolvefish.com


:evilgrin:

[TheMightyFavog]

9. crap!

Beat me to it!

[dflprincess]

8. And sometimes he makes back ups

n/t

[put out]

15. But he can't help but also make a hard copy.

Habits die hard. And he doesn't always trust technology.

Once, I heard that he made a copy of something he was faxing, so that when it was sent, he had a copy in hand.

Well, we like Jesus, so that we didn't laugh, just let him in on the funny.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

23. Of course he does...

http://susan.thecatsweb.com/mt/archives/000055.html#000055

[madrchsod]

11. "green stamps"

all you "old"people remember them

[southerngirlwriter]

12. Jesus Saves, Passes to Buddha -- Buddha Shoots, SCORES!!!

:D

SGW, a nice Christian girl with a sense of humor


Side note -- for a year, I had the bumper sticker on my car "JESUS SAVES, MOSES INVESTS." I thought it was funny, but then someone told me it was anti-semitic. I didn't understand why, but I took it off my car anyway because a real anti-semite told me it was funny and he liked it. I freaked. Can anybody tell me why that was anti-semitic?? :shrug:



On edit: Someone PM'd me and told me why it was a bad bumper sticker. My heart was definitely in the right place. That interpretation wouldn't have crossed my mind in a billion years. I can't believe some people think that way. :shrug:

[blindpig]

28. had a button said same back around 69

never saw nothing wrong myself. Jewish guy I knew thought it was funny.

[Don_G]

13. My Fundie Uncle

From preaching to me "why" he had to get in my Mom's divorced drawers every time he was shit-faced over 20 years.

Dimbo can have the idiot, his Glock, the modified AK-47 he keeps in the bedroom and do an IRS audit on whatever he deceded to report as income over the past 7 tears.

As far as coming to terms with anything dealing with the King James Version of the Bible, I'm in the process of discovery myself and woundn't feel uncomfortable living in the Amish Commiuties in Kentucky and Indiana.

[Djinn]

14. I don't have a "relationshiop with Jebus"

so I'll have to go by what others who "know" him seem to say. Apparently, according to Pat Robertson he's a Republican, so presumably the stock market would be his thing

[beanball]

16. Blasphemy

The Lord will not be mocked.I feel its time for me to shake the dust from my shoes and move on,there are too many non believer here at DU,some of you mock the Christ and that is pure blasphemy just as bad as Bush and his lying phony Christians republicans greed merchants.Yes Jesus saves and thats the gospel truth.

[Djinn]

18. so you can't communicate

with non-beleivers??? what about the fact that your belief in "jesus saving" mocks other religions???

[Superfly]

22. If I can quote one of Jesus' more obscure sermons...

"When ye find yeself troubled by what others say, heed my advice: Lighten up, man."
- The Bible...(It's in there, someplace)

[jukes]

27. beanboy

Time to grow up. You're not special. Nothing will save you. You're going to die.

[TrogL]

34. Heresy

Faith alone is insufficient.

:evilgrin:

[bobthedrummer]

17. "But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ,

the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name."
John 20:31

[opihimoimoi]

19. He is saving Sanity and Reason for another world, this one is LOST

[theorist]

20. I think I'll skip this one... n/t

[arwalden]

21. S&H Green Stamps

[gator_in_Ontario]

25. at Costco! n/t

[trof]

26. but Moses INVESTS!

[randr]

29. The names of people who piss him off!

Especially pseudo "Christians" who believe their religion is the "true" religion.

[ironflange]

30. Jesus saves sinners

And redeems them later for fantastic prizes!

[elfwitch]

31. I don't know who this Jesus fellow is but...

Yeshewa bar Joseph would be really pissed about all these dickheads mucking up the message of a pretty decent rabbi.

[Edge]

32. The lives and souls of us humans..

yes, I believe that, and I believe it strongly.