When you are depressed , you just suck the energy out of people

[UndertheOcean]

You can even see the tiredness that floats in their eyes , that your eternal flow of sorrow is just wearing them out.

And you hate yourself for doing that to them , the people around you who care about you , you just hate yourself for causing them so much pain.

You feel like a parasite , needy , emotionally draining, that you just shut out people just to spare them.

You want to just shout at the sky sometimes , at the top of your lungs , but the well keeps flowing and where its going to take you you have no clue.

you are but a passenger in your own life.

Yet , the world is still a beautiful place , even your sadness is beautiful , it's just too much beauty maybe.

Thats how life conquers death , through beauty. Thats how inanimate matter finds it soul.

but what do I know anyway. words , words and more words that must mean something , something that is worth saying. But if only it was easy to SEE what that thing is.

Living in my little drop of complacency right now , and what tomorrow brings is welcome , even oblivion.

Only wish I can someday wake , and accept at last , just accept. But I may be too stubborn for that.

[last_texas_dem]

1. I know what you are feeling

It can be so hard to feel like you are draining those most important to you in your life, just by being around them and feeling like you are burdening them with your problems. But at the same time needing them to help you sort out everything inside that you feel like you are forever having to hold in...

And feeling so out of control of everything; knowing that you have so many "worthwhile" things that you truly care about doing but can't manage to sort everything out to really work towards accomplishing, in addition to all of the things you are supposed to care about that may or may not actually be important to you personally but that it becomes difficult to even pretend matter to you.

Trying to avoid it or dream it away sometimes does feel like the easiest option at times, but all the time you know that it's not how you're suppose to living, and deep down it probably isn't really the way you want to live. But getting a hold on changing it or changing anything major around you just feels like it's getting harder and harder.

All I can say is that I am sorry for what you are going through right now, because I know how impossible it makes everything feel. I often feel depressed. And even though it probably doesn't help at all, I just want to remind you that you're not alone in feeling this way. There are some people who don't seem to really understand what it feels like at all, but I think there are more of us out there than it may seem like, who do.

[UndertheOcean]

4. Yes , I do feel powerless to change anything

Do anything for that matter

[BarenakedLady]

2. I've been there

:hug:

It can get better. It is still a struggle to stay afloat sometimes though.

[UndertheOcean]

3. Thank you