My 7 Year Old Daughter is Having Her Ears Pierced Tomorrow

[RetroLounge]

How should I feel about this?

:shrug:



RL

[JVS]

1. Scandalous

[JVS]

2. Scandalous

[KitchenWitch]

3. I am going back and forth with that decision for my 6 year old.

[youthere]

8. I made my oldest wait until she was 10.

It wasn't really something she was "dying for" but it came up on occasion. On her 10th birthday I took her and a friend (moral support) to the mall and she got her ears pierced. About a month later, basketball started and she took the earrings out (rather than taping them) and ended up letting the holes grow shut. She wanted me to take her to have them redone and I told her I was NOT paying for it. Now she's 13 and has decided that maybe she'll do it when she turns 16.
I think we should have done it younger, that way it would all be said and done by now, but I wanted it to be her decision.
My youngest, on the other hand, has wanted them done since, like birth. She begs me all the time and in the interest of being fair, I'm making her wait until she's 10, too. She thinks I'm the most awful mother on the face of the planet. I know people that had their daughters ears pierced as soon as they were born, and others that made them wait until they were 16. It's whatever you think is best, really.

[RainDog]

34. just a thought...

why make your younger daughter wait till she's 10 if you regret not getting your older daughter's ears pierced earlier?

also - isn't this the kind of thing that isn't about "fairness?" If the younger one has wanted to do this for forever... there are probably things your older daughter wants to and will do that your younger daughter might not.

but who am I to say. I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced when I asked at age 10 so I bought "self-piercing" earrings and pushed them through my ears each day in class until they were pierced. then I wore the earrings home... O8)

don't tell your daughter about that one, of course. later, in high school I got a third piercing above the one of my left earlobe, and a little bit later still I got my other ear pierced up near the top...and...gasp!.. I had it done at a mall place. didn't have any problem.

edited to add- now I'm back to wearing just the two.

[youthere]

41. Well, I probably would...

except I don't want to deal with the "screech" that would come from the 13 yo. "You made MEEEEEEEEEE wait until I was 10! Why didn't SHEEEEEEEEE have to wait? IIIIIIIT"'S NOT FAAAAAIRRRRRRR!" And it would keep going, except only the dog would be able to hear the rest.

Even though it really wasn't a big deal to her at that age, it wouldn't matter. All she would see is I let (god forbid) baby sister do something she wasn't able to do. Fair is fair. She had to wait, sis can wait too, and if, at 10, my youngest wants them double pierced...I'm cool with that. (But the one up near the top...didn't that hurt like Billy-oh?)

[RainDog]

52. actually, yes. yes it did.

and sleeping with an earring on the top of my right side was aggravating like if you had a post digging into your skull at night, and, with hoops, they come undone and poke you in the head. It might not have been so bad if I had done it for the left ear cause I don't sleep on that side. (actually I read you're not supposed to sleep on your left side b/c of your heart.)

but anyway. yes. yes it did.

I understand about the kid stuff. I was bad about that stuff sometimes because I would take the one aside who complained about x or y and say "but YOU get to have/do/whatever this...but don't rub it in because your brother would be jealous." that worked fairly well.

[youthere]

53. LOL...

When my kids whine about "why does so and so get to and I don't " My standard reply is "well OBVIOUSLY I love him/her more". They usually pause and then shout "You do NOT!" I use the same response when they complain about having to do something like "WHy do you make me clean the table all the time?" Answer: "Because we love you best" makes me laugh my ass off.

I know when I was a kid my siblings and I kept running tallies on each other all the time, and ALWAYS used it against my parents.

[Madrone]

76. ...except only the dog would be able to hear the rest

:rofl:

[GreenPartyVoter]

4. I wasn't allowed to have it done until I was 16. But mom took me to the mall and let me do it when I

was 15 because she thought dad was unreasonable. (He said he thought pierced ears made a girl look "fast".) I never did have a girl of my own so I didn't have to deal with this, but I think I would have waited until I knew she could have taken care of her ears herself I guess?

(BTW, your baby is beautiful!!! :D )

[RetroLounge]

6. Yeah, her Mom is taking her to the mall...

I'm staying away...

:D

RL

[GirlinContempt]

12. Is she getting it done with a GUN?

:scared: is the closest I can find to a :worried:

[LostinVA]

14. It's really not sanitary

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

29. Sure it is

I had a friend who used to work at the mall store that usually does that stuff, Claire's, she was one of the people who pierced ears, and they had to use new stuff for each piercing and it was all individually packaged like in a "regular" (read: adult) piercing place. :shrug:

That's where I had mine done circa 1998. :) No problems.

[LostinVA]

36. No, it's not

The piercing "gun" itself can NOT be sterilized. Bodily fluids can (and do) blow back onto the gun. The "cleaning" solution is useless.

And in a "regular" piercing place, they use needles, not guns. The gun causes a blunt trauma to the ear. The needle makes a clean hole.

Just because you didn't have problems, doesn't mean it's good. And I doubt a Claire's employee goes through lengthy apprenticeships or takes classes on blood borne pathogens, first aid, etc.

[GirlinContempt]

45. Ditto what LostInVA said, and I'll add

that after the piercing is done, cleaning is much more difficult. The piercing is way more prone to infection, and the jewelry used isn't a high grade sort.

The malls don't use fresh brand new guns for each piercing. The only thing that sterilizes the equipment properly is an autoclave, and plastic guns cannot be put in autoclaves.

"Regular" places use needles, not guns. There is a world of difference.

I also had no problems with my gun pierced ears, but many do, and it's unsafe, damaging to the tissue, harder to clean, scarring, etc.

If I drank a bottle of draino and didn't die, once I knew it was unsafe I would never recommend anyone else do it :P

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

66. i see...

That makes sense. I didn't know anything about that, nobody I know has ever had problems or infections from getting their ears pierced by the piercing gun. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I'm just saying that I've never personally known anyone who's had trouble with a piercing from a place like Claire's, so it seemed weird when LostinVA said it. Had somebody I known happened to have scarring or any of that with their gun pierced ears, I might have looked into it. Now I'm educated ;)

[JVS]

7. My grandfather didn't approve of ear piercing either.

[GreenPartyVoter]

10. My mother and her friends put ice cubes on their ears and then poked sewing needles through them.

:scared:

[Left Is Write]

24. My mother went to the doctor and got her ears pierced there, at age 17.

That would have been 1956.

[youthere]

44. Ohmigod.

I would have passed out...but I'm a HUGE sissy.

[Quantess]

64. Same here!

My mom was sure i'd get an infection, or nerve damage, or who knows what sort of disaster!
Now, 20 years later, I'm covered in tattoos.

[mentalsolstice]

5. Born in 1960, pierced ears in 1972, now 47, pretty normal so far! nt

[LostinVA]

9. Don't let it get done with a piercing gun

And clean it with sea salt soaks.

Make sure she gets it done at a good piercing parlor, not some idiot in the mall.

[bicentennial_baby]

11. Seconded!!

Strongly!

[Fleshdancer]

13. I still regret not getting this advice with my 7yr old daughter

Thanks to you and yours, I now know how to do it the right way. I just wish I asked before ignorantly taking her to the mall. :(

[DesEtoiles]

54. My 6 year old is begging for pierced ears-where else to go besides Claire's?

[Fleshdancer]

57. A tattoo/piercing parlor

It probably sounds weird to you but LostinVA's wife was kind enough to educate me on the subject and I trust her advice:

BMEzine puts out a great piercing faq here: http://faqs.cs.uu.nl/na-dir/bodyart/piercing-faq/.html
I know your daughter got her ears pierced with a gun, but guns are bad. They cause blunt trauma to the tissue and can cause a host of healing issues. Plus, the gun can never be disinfected. The "piercing" earring is sterile, but the gun is host to all sorts of bacteria from previous people.

it will seem weird taking a 7-year-old to a tattoo/piercing parlor, but it's really your best bet. They pierce with a needle that is just as quick and painless as the gun. Look for a piercer that's a member of the APA. They should take all the tools out of sterilized packets in front of you and be willing to show you all their autoclaving equipment. If they won't do that, go to another one.

I didn't ask for advice until after my daughter's ears were already pierced at Claire's. We cleaned her ears with the worthless solution they gave us, and she cleaned her ears while turning the studs twice a day every day under my supervision. After 6 weeks, we tried to change out the earrings and only then we discovered her right ear was infected. At that point it was a complete nightmare.

[GirlinContempt]

15. Agreed!

When I saw "mall" upthread I started to feel worried.

[RetroLounge]

16. That was my suggestion

I was overridden... Outnumbered 2-1.

Having pierced my own ears with a stud, an ice cube, and a bottle of jack, this seems better...

RL

[GirlinContempt]

18. I wouldn't suggest

I would show them the evidence and demand.
http://www.namaii.com/suck/
http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/answers2/frontend.php/question?qid=20071216045129AAp7dFJ
http://www.tribalexpression.com/downloads/gunvsneedle.pdf
http://tattoo.about.com/cs/psafety/a/piercing_guns_2.htm
http://tattoo.about.com/cs/psafety/a/piercing_guns.htm

"The first concern when it comes to piercing is sterilization. Any kind of procedure which involves contact with blood or bodily fluids requires strict adherence to cross-contamination prevention.

Piercing guns are usually made with plastic and cannot be sterilized in an autoclave. Sure, they wipe it with alcohol or antiseptic in between uses, but how sterile is that? It is not unreasonable to guess that in a 2-week training course, these mall piercists are not being taught about infection control and blood-borne pathogens. A quick wipe with a sterile pad is not effective in removing disease-carrying blood.

Some will argue that the piercing gun never comes in contact directly with the customer's skin. This might be true, but the piercers hands do - if they touch the customers skin and then touch the gun, the gun is now contaminated. Period. And when the gun drives the stud through the flesh, if the skin starts to bleed there is no way of knowing whether or not tiny particles of blood could have been dispersed into the air contaminating everything around it.

Sterility is just one of the possible problems with gun piercing. Tissue trauma is another. The gun forces a blunt stud through the skin, causing it to literally rip in order to make room for the jewelry. Then, it pinches the back of the jewelry in place snugly against the skin, allowing no way for the new wound to breathe and heal properly. The customer is then told to turn the jewelry a couple times a day, which only further pushes growing bacteria into the wound, causing infection.

True, many customers get pierced with guns and never have any problems with it. But why put yourself at risk when there is a safer, less painful way to go about it? "

Pro piercing is less painful, safer, less prone to infection, the jewelry is of higher quality and better for the skin, it's easier to clean and maintain ESPECIALLY for a child, pro piercers are TRAINED PROFESSIONALS, not clerks in a cheap jewelry store or salon.
This is important. Really. Seriously.

[bicentennial_baby]

21. I heartily second this post!!!

:bounce:

Dead serious. I take my piercings and tats very seriously. Safety first. :thumbsup:

[GirlinContempt]

22. It is very serious.

It's a health issue, and not to be taken lightly at all. I would never ever allow anyone in my care to be pierced like that. It's awful.

RetroLounge, I'm not hating on you, please please don't get me wrong. I'm just trying to give you the information so you'll know why we're all so against it.

[bicentennial_baby]

25. Absolutely!!

No hating on RL at all, just listen! Avoid the piercing gun type establishments and go to an actual piercer that has established health and safety regulations, as (afaik) the vast majority of real piercing shops/businesses are required to have.

[DesEtoiles]

55. Where do I find an "actual ear piercer"? I've never seen such a place.

[GirlinContempt]

56. I'd check the phone book

for a piercing parlour. You can phone any of them and ask about their procedures, training etc. The reputable ones are more than happy to give you all the information you might need.

An 'actual ear piercer' is a trained piercer. Not a clerk in a jewelry store.

[Connonym]

60. ENT doctors also sometimes do piercings

I don't know what method they use but I'm sure it would be more hygienic than the mall.

[youthere]

30. Hey GirlinContempt...Thank you for posting this...

I have NEVER heard of this before. I thought the mall was SOP. Now I feel bad I took my kid there! THAT won't happen again.

[GirlinContempt]

39. You're welcome

SOP? Sorry don't know what that means :)

But, really, don't feel bad about it now. You didn't know. Now you do :)

[youthere]

42. SOP=Standard Operating Procedure

Thanks again for the info. I never would have thought twice about it.

[GirlinContempt]

46. Ahh, thanks

Needles hurt less too! :)

[youthere]

49. You know...now that you mention that..

I remember when she had it done, and the first one was no trouble, but when they did the second ear, I don't know if they hit a nerve or what, but her eyes popped open REAL wide and she immediately started crying (and this kid doesn't cry easily). That same ear kept getting infected and was sore for a long time afterward, even though we were meticulous about cleaning it. It probably had a lot to do with her taking them out for basketball and letting them close up like she did.

[LostinVA]

37. Great post

I had my ears pierced with a gun. It was a mistake, and I eventually let them close up. The woman further educated me about it.

[GirlinContempt]

40. Thanks

I had mine done with a gun too, before I knew. Fortunately, I didn't have any problems with them, but I could have and it's a scary thought. Since then all of my piercings have been done by qualified professionals. Even though I had no real problems, I would NEVER EVER recommend or endorse anyone getting it done with a gun. Just because I was ok doesn't mean it's safe or good :)

[DarkTirade]

33. Or you could wait until she's 21 and she can buy her own bottle of jack... :P

[Chovexani]

32. Amen.

Guns are unsanitary.

[Guava Jelly]

17. You poor fucker

I don't envy you at all..at least on this one ;)

[Gormy Cuss]

19. You're letting someone make holes in your daughter's head? WTF kind of parent are you?

Oooh, sorry. I was channeling my mother there. I wasn't allowed to have piercings until I could pay for them myself.

[lizziegrace]

23. Same here

I got mine pierced in college. Ice cubes and a needle...

[Gormy Cuss]

26. I went to the mall and had them done with the gun.

I had no problems but I was scrupulous about hygiene. Used some of my summer job money when I was in high school.

[lizziegrace]

51. Mine were pierced by a friend's grandmother who was an RN

Mine turned out fine. My twin sister passed out. One lobe is pierced lower than the other...

;)

I worked hard keeping them clean but still ended up with problems. And I was 20 at the time.

Lelapin was allowed to get hers pierced when she was 13 and old enough to take care of them.

[hisownpetard]

65. Me, too. Sounds barbaric, doesn't it?

[lizziegrace]

68. It does...

But it was funny. You should have seen my sister go down. :)

[hisownpetard]

82. She's a little ear-hole wuss.

[cobalt1999]

20. When my daughters asked me at that age, I said...

"Sure! If you let me do it out in the workshop".

That shocked them enough they held off asking again for about 6 months. I'm a mean dad. :)

[SPKrazy]

27. I think my 7 year old son

and your 7 year old daughter

should meet each other some time!

:P

Seriously, I dunno how I'd feel man, she's growing up.

:hug:

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

28. my mom made me wait until i was 11

for some reason, in my grade, there were a whole slew of girls getting their ears pierced for their eleventh birthdays, but my birthday was after every one of my friends so i had the longest wait :( it was sad.

[Taverner]

31. Happy

She's becoming an adult. It may seem sad, but it means you did your job.

[NNadir]

35. I don't know. I wouldn't do it myself, but it's not a major thing, I guess.

[Chovexani]

38. I got my first one as an infant

Maybe that's why I've got so many holes in my head now. :crazy:

But yes, above all means, don't go some some mall kiosk. Go to a reputable shop and make sure they use sterilized needles.

[DarkTirade]

43. I never liked the whole idea of doing body modifications on an infant...

even if they're not permenant like a peircing. Just seems kinda... weird to me.

Then again, I was raised by a hippie. :)

[Chovexani]

47. I probably wouldn't do it to my kid, if I have one

I'd have to require that they're old enough to ask. According to my mom, though, I didn't cry at all. I was smiling the whole time.

Some things never change, I guess. :)

[Inchworm]

48. What if she wants to be a Nun?

:shrug:

Then what?

*poke*

:hi:

[Canuckistanian]

50. Oh yeah? Well my 7-MONTH old daughter is getting a tattoo

Beat that.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

58. I passed out after getting my ears pierced and crashed into the jewelry store window

However, it was a 105 degree day in Kansas and I was a nervous wreck. Your beautiful little girl will be just fine!

[ThomCat]

59. Wow. I think that is way too young.

:(

[Flaxbee]

61. Seems kind of young to me to have it done

but I'm not a parent ... Though she's barely out of first grade, or maybe still in first grade at 7 - I think I'd be kinda freaked out if she were my daughter. Too young for artificial adornment.

My parents made me wait until I was officially a 'teenager' - it was kind of fun, really; once I turned 13 it was a birthday treat for me. I think they also thought I'd have a better idea if I really wanted it done than I would have at 6 or 7.

[Tektonik]

62. Both of my nieces have their ears pierced and they are 1 and 3 respectively

Even though I believe parents should hold off on body altering procedures until their children are cognizant of what they want, piercing holes close up, so I don't really see the harm getting their ears pierced as long as it's done safely.

[Quantess]

63. Did she ask for it, or is it your idea?

If your idea, wait until she asks.

Cute girl, by the way.

[RetroLounge]

67. She's been asking for a long time...

eom

RL

[Tyler Durden]

69. That child is STUNNING.

Her mother and the milkman....I mean, you, made a very pretty little girl.

[Ellen Forradalom]

70. Agreed.

She took my breath away too.

[RetroLounge]

71. See, now i might be worried...

except i know there are no milkmen any more.

They are dead.

http://www.deadmilkmen.com/

RL

[Tyler Durden]

72. They are not!

[RetroLounge]

74. Damn...

That explains a lot...

:D

RL

[LostinVA]

73. I know -- his kids are really, really cute

I think they may be changlings....

[Tyler Durden]

77. Maybe he microwaved his.......................

just a little.

[crim son]

75. I had my daughter's pierced at the same age, but they didn't heal.

After several months we gave up and let the holes grow over again. Then when she was thirteen, we tried it again. Success! Your daughter is beautiful.

[NewJeffCT]

78. My daughter is almost 5 and keeps asking for it

I tell her that I'll think again when she's 18 and that her mother didn't get her ears pierced until she was in her 30s. But, I'm sure she'll eventually be able to wear down her mother with nagging, but I'm in no hurry to have her put holes in her body.

She has a couple of pairs of clip-ons, though.

[BarenakedLady]

79. Rule in this house is age 13.

They need to be able to take care of it themselves (cleaning, etc.). Neither of my girls want them at this point anyway (10,6).

[youthere]

80. Your daughter is just beautiful...

I think ear piercing is probably going to be the least of your worries. I'd start stocking up on Maalox now. ;)

[Lyric]

81. Wow!

Your daughter is beautiful, and what's more--she looks like a slightly lighter-haired version of my son, which is kinda creepy! But they have the same nose, eyes, face shape, lips...I need to get a recent photo of Brendan so you can see.

As for her ears--I had mine done when I was 4 in a mall with a piercing gun and never had any problems, but from what I understand, it's not a sterile way to have it done. Tell your wife about the infection risk and see if she's willing to take the kidlet to a real piercing parlor. :hug:

[underpants]

83. 13 for ear piercings-High school for make up

We talked about this before Josie was born