That's A Long Time Between Drinks, As They Say

[Hissyspit]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/dear_margo/20080110/en_dm/margo_howard20080110

That's a Long Time Between Drinks, as They Say
Thu Jan 10, 2:00 AM ET

DEAR MARGO: I have been married for 31 years to a good woman with whom I have three children, one remaining at home. My wife and I have had sex three or four times in the past 15 years. This has worked a hardship on me such as I cannot describe. Divorce is not an option, and attempts to resolve this matter through therapy have backfired. One therapist told my wife I was a narcissist, and another told her I was "selfish." I have not been retributive in these matters. I do not harangue her or argue. But this situation is intolerable and becomes more a source of sorrow with each passing day. I cannot speak with her anymore about this because she deflects my queries, saying she does not want to have sex while we have a teenager in the house, which is an excuse, of course. She is healthy; this is not hormonal. I am at the point where I have lost all desire for the woman. Fifteen years of being ignored will do that to you. Suggestions?

--- INVOLUNTARY CELIBATE

DEAR IN: If I am prorating this correctly, you and your wife have had sex once every 5.3 years. (The last event may have produced the teenager, for all I know.) There is definitely something going on with her that I am unable to know. I do know this: She has chosen rotten therapists who think that a man is either narcissistic or selfish to want to have sexual relations with his spouse at more frequent intervals than what you describe.

The fact that there's a kid in the house is a red herring. Either there's something you're leaving out, or your wife doesn't like sex or doesn't like you. I do not know why divorce is not an option, but if you say it isn't, it isn't. Yours sounds to me like a soul-killing marriage, and I wish you some happiness, and maybe a ladyfriend. I seldom recommend looking for companionship outside the marriage, but hardly ever have I gotten a letter like yours.

--- MARGO, DARINGLY