I would like people to respond to my OP in droves. However, I have nothing to say.

[hisownpetard]

:shrug: :hi:

[hisownpetard]

1. Droves, I tell ya!

[hisownpetard]

2. C'mon - you mean, you never responded to a meaningless post before?

[CreekDog]

3. Did you hear about that teacher in Pennsylvania arrested for oral sex?

I heard she's going down.

[hisownpetard]

6. Oof!

:smoke:

[KitchenWitch]

4. K&R!

:hi:

[hisownpetard]

7. Thank you so much (she bows, grandly)...

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

[KitchenWitch]

9. It is always nice to have a curtain call!

:D

[hisownpetard]

12. Thanks, and...can someone put these flowers in water for me?

:pals: :pals:

[MrCoffee]

5. n/t

[hisownpetard]

8. "n/t"? N/T? Ok, fine. I'll remember that, Mr. T.

[Dr. Strange]

10. Okay.

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence, OKAY!

[hisownpetard]

13. Cat got your tongue?

:spank:

[Dr. Strange]

25. What's that supposed to mean?

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.

Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.

The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

[hisownpetard]

34. Nothing - just that your response was on the short side. I like it when

you're more long-winded!:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

[Dr. Strange]

40. Perhaps you're not reading the post closely enough...

;-)

[Fox Mulder]

17. ...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Dr. Strange]

22. What are you laughing at?

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

[flvegan]

11. I don't have any clean droves to wear to respond in.

Guess this is all I have.

[hisownpetard]

15. Yeah, your week-olds will do just fine.

I'm not that picky.


(Ugh - not a good word choice, I guess).

[Guava Jelly]

14. well than I won't respond

:silly:

[hisownpetard]

18. But you must, mustn't you? I would respond if it were YOU begging for attention.

Which it usually is.:argh: :bounce:

[Guava Jelly]

20. Oh so you are saying I beg for attention!!! .GRRRRR!!!!!

(Am I that easy to read?):rofl:

[hisownpetard]

21. Wasn't that you in the lampshade and the big diaper the other night?

[Guava Jelly]

23. I don't wear big diapers

I wear small ones and use duct tape as extenders.
They are much sexier :D

[hisownpetard]

29. Do they come in lime green?

*sigh*

[Guava Jelly]

30. They can

:evilgrin:

[hisownpetard]

35. Sounds hot, Borat!

[Guava Jelly]

39. ..

[hisownpetard]

42. Nice watch.

[Debi]

16. In cloves?

Hold on, I gotta put my reading glasses on....x(

[hisownpetard]

19. Cloves are just fine. Thank you kindly!

:wtf:

[RainDog]

24. okay, just put on my droves

so you can have someone responding in them.

but I also have to vent. My car would not start when I left work today and I asked 3 people to give me a jump and none of them would. Two of them (females) were parked in cars right beside me. One of them (a male) is someone I see constantly at work in the course of a week.

All three said: "I don't have cables"

me: I do.

them: I don't know how to jump start a car.

me: I do.

Neither of my kids can drive. I had called my son to get the number for emergency service and he heard all three interactions and said "That's unbelievable. It was, because it was pouring down rain and I kept trying to get someone's attention to get help.

All I wanted was access to their battery. They could sit in their cars and I would do it all. but they wouldn't even do that.

Then a young guy pulled into a spot and I asked him and he said "I'll try" and he did. He had an accent so I asked him where he was from and he said "Poland."

So those three americans couldn't help someone out but someone who is visiting this country could?!?!?

The car still didn't start. So I had to call a towing service. Then I had to call a cab. And stand in the pouring rain because the dispatcher said they only pick up at this one spot. Hope it's just my battery.

I had a battery problem before and my car would turn its own lights on and when I got out of work the battery was dead. Again, I asked a woman to help me and she refused. I went down to a stop sign and this mullet-headed guy and his girlfriend in a beater were there and I asked him to help and he did. I tried to pay him and he wouldn't take any money.

I am in an extremely stressful situation at this time and I have to take medication and I have to find another job and leave my house and I help people even when they don't ask.

fuck the middle class.

that is all.

[hisownpetard]

27. Wherever you live- can you move? Come to MA, where people will help their neighbor

without a second thought. (At least, that's how people are in this town).

So sorry you had to go through that kind of horrible day.
Tomorrow, maybe someone will do something nice, and unexpected.

Feel better!!:hi: :hug: :pals:

[RainDog]

31. I've started applying for jobs elsewhere

so I have to move, most likely. part of me is okay with that, even looking forward to not being near my ex-so, but another part of me grieves because I'll have to leave my children.

[hisownpetard]

33. Oh, no - what a horrible choice.

Maybe you can find a job within the same radius? I mean, if you have someone with whom you work 5 days a week
who isn't willing to let you re-start your battery, that person is just toxic.

It might be worth driving an extra half-hour or so to see your kids, if you can have a friendly workplace where you
spend at least 40 hrs. a week.

Hang in there!

[RainDog]

37. I live in a blue oasis

in the middle of a honkin' red state that is not my home state. I don't even consider that I live in my state. I hate it. I live in my town. My town is actually a great place. but if I want to stay in my field, I will have to move. I have to make enough money to survive too.

No, if I have to move, I'm first going to apply for jobs in places where I'd like to live. My kids are old enough for me to move, but my son with asperger's worries me. He has no common sense.

The biggest thing, of course, is that I would miss them. I tell myself it's like they're going off to college, only I'm the one that's leaving. They can be at my place for holidays. My youngest son gave me the impression that he wanted to move with me, not stay here. but he may not have a choice either b/c of college stuff starting, hopefully, next year.

there's a lot more to this, but this is that part that I feel comfortable about sharing on this board.

[hisownpetard]

38. You are a brave soul, to face this kind of dilemma.

I hope you can summon all the strength you need to deal with it, and I know you will be able to.

P.S. If you like, you can PM me any time.

[LynzM]

26. I have days like that....

I'm waiting for code to compile. Wheee... :hi:

[NightWatcher]

28. 5th rec. off to the greatest with you

[hisownpetard]

32. OMG. I feel almost like Nance Greggs (only she gets her Rec's the hard way...

yeah, you know the rest).:hi: :hi: :hi: :hi: :hi:

[Whisp]

36. add SUV near 'drove' and you'll get em!

:rofl:

[hisownpetard]

44. How about this?

"I Would Like Breastfeeding People to Respond Hillary to My SUV-OP Hussein in Olive Garden Droves."

Did I leave anything out, Rick Astley?

[Amerigo Vespucci]

41. No, you're wrong, and I have the link to PROVE it.

Believe It to Beaver

http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/mathers.asp

Claim: Leave It to Beaver star Jerry Mathers died in action in Vietnam.

Status: False.

Origins: Perhaps no single creation of pop culture symbolizes the American post-war "baby boom" society better than the 1957-63 television series Leave It to Beaver. Even if this gentle black-and-white sitcom about life as seen through the eyes of two brothers growing up in the middle class suburb of Mayfield didn't accurately reflect the status of contemporary America, it certainly encapsulated the way we now want to remember that era. Leave It to Beaver represents a time and place of innocence many of us would like to return to, whether or not it really existed in the first place.

The lovable title character of the show, Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver (son of Ward and June Cleaver, and younger brother of Wally Cleaver) was portrayed by child actor Jerry Mathers. Looking back at the social climate of
the 1960s and the types of rumors and legends that originated during that era, we shouldn't be surprised to find it was widely believed that Jerry Mathers had been killed in Vietnam. Leave It to Beaver and its young star were seen as the tangible representations of a time of peaceful innocence that ended not long after the show aired its final episode in September 1963. Within two months President John F. Kennedy was assassinated, and America entered a decade of turmoil marked by civil rights struggles, demonstrations against American involvement in the Vietnam War, violent social protest, and more assassinations.

Urban legends frequently juxtapose concepts such as good and evil, innocence and depravity, safety and danger, and what could provide a more shocking contrast in opposites than the announcement that one of our best known symbols of innocence and purity had met a violent death in a controversial war? (This same concept is echoed in legends that posit the military involvement of pop singer John Denver and children's TV host Fred Rogers in Vietnam as well.)

When we find out that Jerry Mathers temporarily absented himself from the world of show business after 1963 to pursue a "normal" life, it seems almost inevitable that rumors of his death would have eventually begun to circulate. An actor who had been highly visible on TV every week for six years suddenly disappeared from the sight of the public eye, he was the same age as thousands of young men who were being drafted into the military and shipped overseas to fight in Vietnam, and the notion of his dying a soldier's death would be an ironic commentary on the social and political decline of America.

A little bit of background research reveals that this legend was given a tremendous boost by some real-life events. Jerry Mathers did serve in the military, enlisting in the Air Force Reserve while still in high school. (In a curious foreshadowing of this legend, Mathers Jerry Mathers reportedly tried to join the Marines, who told him that he would have to remain stateside because of their reluctance to risk the negative publicity that would follow if such a prominent person were to die in Vietnam.) The American public got its first glimpse of Jerry Mathers in a long while when he appeared in dress uniform (replete with shaved head) as a presenter during the nationally telecast 1967 Emmy Awards ceremony. The association of Jerry Mathers with the military was now firmly implanted in the public's mind (although he was stationed exclusively in the United States). A legend that might already have been inevitable was now a practical certainty.

Jerry Mathers' death supposedly became a full-blown rumor in 1968 when someone with a similar name (usually said to be a "Private J. Mathers") was killed in Vietnam, and the major U.S. news services (i.e., Associated Press and United Press International) mistakenly reported that it was the star of Leave It to Beaver who had died. Although a little bit of name confusion was undoubtedly involved, we don't find any evidence of a mistake on the wire services' part. The only Mathers who died in Vietnam was Sgt. Steven Allen Mathers of Rockwell, Iowa, who was killed in action in Tay Ninh on 26 October 1968. The newspaper accounts of his death that we've turned up neither listed him as "J. Mathers" nor confused him with a child television star:
Sgt. E-5 Steven Mathers, 21, of rural Rockwell died Saturday, October 26th, in Vietnam as a result of wounds suffered in combat. He was with the U.S. Army Company B, 2nd Battalion, 28th Infantry, 1st Infantry Division.

Mathers entered the service September 12, 1967, and had been in Vietnam since late February this year. He was born December 6, 1946, in Charles City.
Although Sgt. Mathers was killed in October 1968, the Jerry Mathers death rumor didn't become widespread enough to start appearing in newspapers until December 1969. An April 1970 article on the rumor reported its background thusly:
There was the former child actor, alive and kicking, refuting a '68 Vietnam wire service story on the death of Private J. Mathers, star of the TV series. Now a philosophy major and a junior at UCLA, Mathers took his spring quarter final in art history, then sat down to explain the mistaken news story.

Prior to graduating from high school in 1967, the actor enlisted in the Air Force Reserve and was allowed to take his finals early, report for duty, then return in time to graduate with his senior class. After training in Texas, Jerry went back to school, enrolling at Cal-Lutheran in the San Fernando Valley, not far from home.

A roommate woke him up one morning with "Do you know you're dead," thrusting a newspaper in his face, carrying the Vietnam account of Private Mathers killed in action. At home, Mrs. Mathers received a tearful call from a fan offering condolences, her first awareness of the mistaken identity report.

Air Force Sergeant Mathers is still in the Reserve, serving out his time, attending school within 150 miles of his base, performing in My Three Sons and Lassie on the side. He has never seen action in Vietnam.
Actress Shelley Winters is often credited with promulgating this legend by announcing Jerry Mathers' death during a Tonight Show appearance shortly after the real Sgt. Mathers had been killed in Vietnam, but we haven't been able to ascertain that Ms. Winters was a guest on the Tonight Show anytime during 1968 or 1969. The first television listing we've found from that period that includes her as a Tonight Show guest is from 30 March 1970, by which time the Jerry Mathers death rumor was already in full swing.

Last updated: 9 January 2007

[hisownpetard]

43. Oh. So you finally show up (a day late and a dollar short) and expect me to read

"War and Peace"??

I never watched "Leave It To Beaver." I don't like nature shows.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

49. No wonder chivalry is dead...where's the incentive?

...I guess I should have read the thread a little more carefully. I didn't know that it was all about helping you work through your anger management issues...



:evilgrin:

[hisownpetard]

50. Well, you sure know how to woo a woman - with all those dancing bananas!

You devil, you.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

51. Hey, the bananas are just my warmup act.

:evilgrin:

[hisownpetard]

52. Well, I'm warm! How do you wanna act?

:party: :smoke: :party:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

53. Uh oh.

:evilgrin:

[hisownpetard]

54. I cain't hear ya.

[chknltl]

45. Sorry dude, I'm in my P-Js...I don't even own any droves!

You might want to check with Rowdy Yates, he's a drover ya' know.
































...head 'em up and moooove' em out!

[hisownpetard]

46. Raw-HIDE. Eeeee-yaw!! Where's Frankie Laine when you need him?

[TheDebbieDee]

47. I have nothing to say either........

HAAAAAaaaaarumph!

[hisownpetard]

48. We'd be scintillating company together, wouldn't we?

:thumbsup: :hi:

[Wapsie B]

55. .

.

[hisownpetard]

56. What does "." mean, please.

[Wapsie B]

80. You asked for responses.

I was just giving you a simple reply.

[hisownpetard]

81. Like, totally.

:hi:

[Wapsie B]

83. Can't get much simpler than me.

:hi:

[ldf]

84. you use "simple".

others use "slow", or "not quite right", or even "tetched in the head"...

i suppose it is all perspective...

:-)

[Wapsie B]

85. yes it is...........

one person's simple is another person's complex......

kinda like me i guess........
:)

[UndertheOcean]

57. victory is mine !

[hisownpetard]

58. OK, sure. Why not?

:thumbsup: :shrug:

[taterguy]

59. I have no response for you

[hisownpetard]

61. Thanks! Can't say I blame you.

:hi:

[taterguy]

63. I blame Irwin Shaw

[hisownpetard]

64. And I'm sure he'd be happy to be mentioned.

[taterguy]

65. Who wouldn't be?

[hisownpetard]

68. Especially since there's no issue at stake and nothing being discussed.

:hi:

[taterguy]

73. Nothing is better than this

[hisownpetard]

74. I know. I think I've hit on something big!! Maybe we should make a rule that ALL posts

must be about nothing. We can call it the "Seinfeld Rule."
Whaddya think, Newman?

[taterguy]

78. Sometimes I post about something

And if I'm gonna go all nihilist I'd rather be one from the Big Lebowski

[hisownpetard]

90. While I won't deny you the right to post about something, please remember - that philosophy

is not necessarily for everyone.


:silly:

[taterguy]

91. Remember the Maine

[hisownpetard]

92. And don't forget the milk on your way home, either.

[taterguy]

93. Unless you're lactose intolerant

[hisownpetard]

94. There's always Lactaid.

[taterguy]

95. There's always Paris

[hisownpetard]

97. There ya go, trying to 'one-up' me!

Granted, your version is a little more romantic than mine, but...:shrug:

[taterguy]

98. You'd be amazed at the things you can do with diary substitutes

[hisownpetard]

99. Dear Diary, Today I can't find my purple pen so I'm using a pencil as a substitute.

:shrug: :hi: :shrug:

[taterguy]

100. Fucking spellcheck

[hisownpetard]

101. Funny -

:toast:

[taterguy]

102. It's such a fine line between clever and stupid

There would be a really clever and stupid smilie here if I knew how to include them in a post

[Capn Sunshine]

60. Nor I

[hisownpetard]

62. Excellent. Why use 9 words when two will do?

[Fire Walk With Me]

66. Richard Basehart!?

[hisownpetard]

69. Sure, why not?

:shrug: :scared: :shrug:

[Fire Walk With Me]

72. MST3K reference...

I am part of a drove.

[hisownpetard]

76. Booyaka, btw.

[seemunkee]

67. Can I respond in my underwear

I don't have a drove

[hisownpetard]

70. No bare feet, no bathingsuits. Underwear preferred.

[MrMickeysMom]

71. And now, for something completely different...

Mousebender: It's not much of a cheese shop really, is it?

Wensleydale: Finest in the district, sir!

Mousebender: And what leads you to that conclusion?

Wensleydale: Well, it's so clean.

Mousebender: Well, it's certainly uncontaminated by cheese.

:hi:

[hisownpetard]

75. Thanks for playing 'non sequitur'. It's such fun, no?

:crazy:

[MrMickeysMom]

77. No! which is to say, "Yes"... however, I don't do it as well as those "other" rascals! :-^D

For sheer pointless behavior, you've got to admire the GDP threads! Why, just now, they've managed to suspend themselves over a tin of condeemned veal.

:*

[ozymandius]

79. I got my Droves on. Now what?

:shrug:

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

82. Just talk about kudzu.

You'll be in like Flynn.

:evilgrin:

[krispos42]

86. Can I respond in my PJs instead?

My droves are dirty and need sanitizing...

:-)

[hisownpetard]

87. Sure. Get up and go sit with seemonkee, who's in his underwear. You'll be in the

"Underdressed" section.

Anyone want to join them?

[Ivan Sputnik]

88. “Nothing shall come of nothing”

King Lear, Act 1, Scene 1

[hisownpetard]

89. And I am proud to prove Will's theory...

[pintobean]

96. OK