GRRRR - My ex is causing me such HELL with Little MB...

[malta blue]

For the most part, Little MB’s dad is a great dad, and has never failed to spend time with her or come through to care for her.

My problem is that I want to send her to camp this summer. She is an only child to two parents who work full time. She has the opportunity to attend a camp that is 1.5 hours away. The ex just says no. I asked him why. I just get a "NO" :mad:

She desperately wants to go. This is not like I am sending her away because I don’t want her. I feel since she is an only child, it would be nice for her to spend four weeks with a group of her peers, stargazing, horseback riding, etc., instead of at a mediocre daycamp/daycare and then coming home at playing video games.

I have asked for a concrete reason as to why he will not agree to let her go. “NO” is simply not going to cut it.

Oh – and I am not asking for him to spend a dime on it. :wtf:

I am just so pissed off about it. He likes to flex his muscle where he can, and unfortunately, he can prevent her from going. But why would he want to? After all, this is about HER, not him, not me.

:nuke: :nuke:

[Orsino]

1. If you can take the high road here...

...and not simply blame the ex in front of the kid (however much he's earning it), it would be fair for the kid to ask dad, if she really wants to go. Perhaps he'd cough up a reason, at least.

Good luck to you!

[malta blue]

2. I would never blame the ex to the kid - I think that is

unfair. I also think it is unfair to say "go ask your dad" but in this case, I just may have to do it.

Thanks for the good wishes...
:hi:

[Bucky]

58. Good on ya, Blue.

It's never okay to put the kids inbetween an all-parent conflict. I've got an ex who also tended to roadblock activities when my daughter was younger. She also had a tendency to trash talk me with her husband when my daughter went over to visit her mother. Sometimes I felt like such a chump for not returning fire on these kinds of attacks--and that's what it felt like, direct attacks on me.

If he's going to say "no", he's got to be the one to tell little Malta "no." Don't let him force you into being the heavy who says "You can't go." That sounds really chickenshit to me. It's not cool to argue with him about it while she's around, but he needs to be the one who takes the heat if he's going to do this.

Is this time coming out of his summer time with her? How is it that he gets to veto your summer plans with her?

[malta blue]

61. He does not have any designated "summer time" with her,

just the usual every other day that we have during the school year, except that she spends the night at his house during the week instead of coming to my house. So he loses on some overnight time, but I offered to make up for that in the four weeks prior to camp starting and the two weeks following. Hell, I don't care if I don't see her the entire freaking summer, just as long as she has a good summer experience...

[Bucky]

63. And you say he's a Hillary supporter....?

[malta blue]

64. ...

:spray:

OMG thank you!!!!

I don't think he even votes so he has no say - although I can tell you he voted for Gore in 2000 and hates Bu$hCo... :shrug:

[Fleshdancer]

3. I wonder if he had a bad camp experience as a kid

I would be frustrated too. The very least he could do is explain his response.

Is there any camp literature you could give to him? If possible, I would meet him for coffee, explain that this is what little MB wants to do and that you support her decision to go to this camp. If he is going to keep her from experience this wonderful opportunity, then the very least he can do is give an explanation. The word "no" isn't enough.

[malta blue]

4. He never went to camp as a kid. His mom stayed home

so he spent his summers playing in the woods behind his house. And while all of us should be so lucky, Little MB has two parents that work full time.

He will not meet with me - everything has to be done via email so there is documentation. If I ask him anything important over the phone, he stays really quiet and then I hear a button, like a tape recorder :banghead: so that he can document the conversation.

I tried explaining that this is important for her to grow and develop. I told him that I would be very willing to make schedule adjustments with him if it was about him not spending time with her. He does see her regularly and he has never taken a summer off to be with her so it's not like I am ruining his plans (or if he had some, he should let them be known).

I think he just wants to be a jerk :(

[MissB]

8. Then can you send him an email (documentation) with only one topic?

"Here is the camp that Little MB wishes to attend. Briefly, she will take part in the following activities for X number of weeks. MB will pick up the full cost of the camp.

Since we share custody, I will need your acknowledgement that she can attend this camp. If you disagree with her attending this camp, then you will need to share your reasons in this email.

Thanks."

[malta blue]

12. That is basically the gist of what I sent him.

the crickets are chirping as the camp enrollment is filling up...
:(

[MissB]

13. Do you still have a lawyer on retainer?

It may be time to send him a letter via the lawyer.

[malta blue]

16. No longer on retainer, but easily accessible should I choose to

but at $300 an hour, I would rather get this resolved without using lawyers.

If I have to use the lawyer, I will be taking his ass to court over it.

[MissB]

17. Probably worth it to give your child this camp experience.

I'm sure the 4 weeks at camp are going to be pricey. It sounds like a wonderful once-in-a-childhood experience that she will never forget.

I hope you can work this out, even if you have to revisit the custody order to get there.

[malta blue]

19. One of the best things about the camp is that

my stepdad's neice is sending her daughter there too. The little girl is one year older than Little MB and it is the camp that stepdad's neice and her sister went to as kids. The neice and I want to foment a relationship between our daughters since they are only children and so close in age.

The price of the camp is inconsequential - Little MB is blessed to have a grandmother who will move mountains to ensure the best for her and who has the means to be able to do so.

I may give the lawyer a call next week if this is not resolved.

[rug]

5. He's using the custody order to vent his anger.

[malta blue]

7. I know, but c'mon he's not being realistic.

He has already prevented her from going to visit her grandmother one year because it was out of the country and he cancelled her passport and would not renew it. Of course, he didn't let me know until after I bought the plane tickets that I told him about 6 weeks prior to actually purchasing them.

This custody order is 6 years old, and it does stipulate that parents are required to respect the child's wishes as she gets older for social situations, i.e. if she wants to go to a slumber party on his weekend, he is supposed to let her go....

:mad:

[rug]

14. His anger is irational and unrealistic.

Distasteful as it is, you may have to go back to court to modify that order.

[sakabatou]

6. Ask for a valid argument

:hide:

[malta blue]

9. I did that and all I got were chirping crickets.

:nuke:

[sakabatou]

11. Since he has failed to bring up a valid argument

then you should have the right to bring your child to a camp.

Or quote Gene Wilder: "You lose! Good day sir!"

[malta blue]

22. Exactly my thinking....

and thank you for the quote - that is one of my favorites.

:hi:

[OneGrassRoot]

10. I went through similar seemingly needless power plays...

the first few years after the divorce. I know what you're saying - you're not asking for money, not asking for anything, but since there is joint custody...well, 'nuf said.

I agree that it's just his way of exerting control where he feels he has none.

It did ease up after the first few years. I'm definitely the custodial parent but I continued to run things by him, even when I didn't have to, and I think he finally understood that I would always include him in the parenting process. Unfortunately, he has chosen not to be very involved, but at least he isn't getting in the way as much any more.

[malta blue]

20. He has eased up already on many things...

at first he wanted me to ask permission to take her for a haircut :wtf:

But last year he refused to even acknowledge me when I mentioned Girl Scout Camp. This year the opportunity is so great, that I will not be quiet about it. I don't want her in the crappy daycamp/daycare that she has been going to since she was 6. The first year there, some 9 year old boy showed him his family jewels and encouraged her to do the same :wow: It is soooo ghetto, but it is the only one around so we are forced to use it.

[OneGrassRoot]

23. Holy crap, I don't blame you for not wanting her to go back there...

I really feel for you. This process is so darn hard.

Check this out: my ex lives LITERALLY three minutes away. Three minutes WALKING. Oy vey. LOL.

But, like I said, he is rarely around and doesn't butt in. On the down side, he never helps with all the shuttling around or anything else one does as a parent.

[malta blue]

31. Before we bought this new house, we lived 5 minutes

away from the ex. Now we are 15. I made sure that nothing altered his visitation schedule.

This whole thing just really pisses me off because it is so obvious to me that it is not about her best interest at all. It is about how he can get to me.

:mad::mad:

[OneGrassRoot]

32. EXACTLY....

so the more he sees he isn't getting to you, the more he'll back off. That was my experience anyway.

Good luck to you and to your daughter!

:hug:

[malta blue]

36. Thank you....

I just want him to realize that he is hurting her, not me, by not letting her go.

Sometimes ex's are so dumb.

[Tyler Durden]

15. A warning:

I did the single Dad thing for the entirety of the youngest's life. All throughout the 16 years to date, I never badmouthed the crazy, vindictive, bi-polar, part time honest-to-god Prostitute, who bad mouthed me throughout this entire ordeal to the kids behind my back. This had huge negative impacts on their upbringing, my relationships, and on my future financial security.

DO NOT make the mistake of not laying responsibility where it belongs. If you approve and he does not, let him know that you two are not united on this decision, and as he has vetoed the activity, you will not cover for him.

DO NOT COVER FOR THE EX. It is a VERY BAD MISTAKE. I speak from experience.

[malta blue]

18. Thank you Tyler Durden...

When I first started reading your post, I thought you were going to give me reasons as to why, being the single dad, I should drop the subject.

I feel so much better after reading it.

I don't want to lay the blame, but it is his fault. He has told me when she is old enough and if she asks about our divorce, he will tell her that it was "mommy's fault".

Perhaps I should tell her that we are not united on this one and tell her to take it up with him.

Again, thank you....
:hi:

[Tyler Durden]

34. Ex has been telling the kids it was all my fault from the first moment they understood english.

Now Gwen at 16 did the "Wild child" routine and is living with the Ex. The boys have figured it out, but they are older.

VERY PAINFUL.

You've already been warned by the ex as to what he's going to say. That absolves you. The words "First Strike" come to mind, and nobody I know would blame you.

[malta blue]

40. WOW, I am sorry that your EX has treated you that way.

Apart from that threat, he has never badmouthed me to Little MB, at least not as far as I know.

I would hope he is above that.

But I will take your advice about telling her that he is the one stopping her from going

:hi:

[Tyler Durden]

49. NEVER take the fall for the ex.

You sound like me: work together, what's best for the kids, blah blah blah.

WE are the people who get SCREWED in the divorce cases, because we want to trust the ex: if you or I liked and trusted the ex that much, we would still be MARRIED to them; remember that.

The ex does not have your interests in mind, and somewhere, it's all your fault in their mind, and THAT is what they are telling the kids.

[malta blue]

54. You are so right...and that makes me sad.

He never answered any more emails about why he will not agree to let her go. And I have to see him tonight *ugh* when I pick her up at his house later.

It will be uncomfortable but I may just mention it, in front of her, something like "I really want to register Little MB for camp, so please be sure you get back to me on it." Then when we are in the car, she will mention it and I can say that he has reservations about it.

What do you think?

[Tyler Durden]

68. My Late father used to say:

"It's not ASS, it's ASS HOLE." Indicating that halfway measures are useless.

He doesn't have "reservations," he has VETOED it, and you said he'd told you when the kids ask him what happened, he'll tell them it's all your fault.

Tell her the TRUTH.

[Zoigal]

38. Is there some aspect of the camp that the EX disapproves of

but doesn't want to bring up, like religion, camp sponsorship, etc?
Just a thought. z

[malta blue]

39. Not that I am aware of....

It is through the YMCA of Boston. They do have a nondenominational service but heck, the kid went to Catholic school, and dad is not religious at all, so that should not be a problem.

I truly think he is just being difficult....

[Zoigal]

41. Your EX certainly isn't thinking of the welfare

of his daughter. Camp IMO is a marvelous experience
for kids and from your description this one sounds exceptional.
Does Little MB feel comfortable nagging her dad for permission?
Works sometimes. z

[malta blue]

43. She can be the biggest nag ever

but I have not told her that he is preventing me from registering her. I wanted to try to resolve it with him without it coming to that.

But, as I posted below, I am going to register her to hold her spot and tell her that it is him. I will not take the fall on this one...

Thanks for your words of support.

I wish I had had the opportunities as a child that Little MB has....

[stuntcat]

21. Is he scared for her?

Maybe if camp had first been his idea he'd be different about it.

What they said up there about having Little MB talk to him about it sounds good. Also how easy will it be to keep in touch with her while she's away? Make sure he knows she'll be safe and happy.
He'd rather her thank him for allowing her to go than remember forever that he stopped her from going.. maybe he hasn't thought that far ahead yet.
Camp like that would be the kind of thing she'd never forget!

[malta blue]

27. He hasn't said anything about that.

As far as maintaining contact, they do not allow phone contact, but the kids have email access time everyday for 30 minutes, and she already has two email accounts, so that should not be an issue.

It is a four week session with a parents' weekend thrown in, so he would be able to see her then.

And you are right about her thanking him instead of remembering that he stopped her from going....perhaps he has not thought of that.

Right now I am trying to avoid conflicts like that by emphasizing the positive benefits of her going away - like personal growth, responsibility, etc.

[northzax]

66. if he is saying 'no'

without any explanation, for something you are paying for, then he needs to be man enough to tell her that. you shouldn't say "your dad said no" he should tell her that.

obviously, this is an unusual situation, since normally there shouldn't be such a requirement on a veto, but since he's not paying, he needs to explain to her why it's not a good idea. If you were asking him to pay half or something (or if he had a good reason, like a long planned trip to see grandma out of state, or something of the like) it would be different. but if all he is saying is "no" then he needs to be the one to tell her that.

[conscious evolution]

24. Send her anyway

Can you see a court siding with him on this?

[malta blue]

28. I am thinking of just paying the deposit even if I

lose it just so that she has a spot. I really can't see a court siding with him but who the hell wants to go to court over something soooo stupid :banghead:

[fizzgig]

25. i can't be much help

i'm never married with no kids, but i'm sorry you're going through this crap.

could it be that he's worried about here going away for so long? that doesn't excuse how he's handling it, but i wonder if that's part of what's going on :shrug:

i hope little MB is able to go to camp, i know going to camp was one of my favorite things as a kid

eta: is there any way you can enroll her and put down a deposit while everything gets worked out?

[malta blue]

29. You are very sweet :)

I am thinking of paying the deposit and if I lose it, I am out the $300 BUT she will have a spot until March 1 (which is when I have to pay for it)

:hug:

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

26. Can you recruit your ex-MIL as an ally?

If she thinks camp is a good thing for the grand-kid, it might help.

:hi:

[malta blue]

30. Great idea - but unfortunately No....

They live in Texas and actually refuse to speak to me because "no one in our family ever gets a divorce" and since I wanted it, I broke the rules... :shrug:

[raccoon]

33. But I betcha they got some miserable marriages!

"no one in our family ever gets a divorce"

Sorry you're having to go thru this and he's being such a butthead. :hug:

[malta blue]

35. ROFL

They do have some miserable marriages in that family, and many, many old maids and perpetual bachelors. The ex's brother is 42 and still single, never been married because all of his girlfriends have dumped him after 3 and 4 years of being together.

They are all a bunch of drunks too.....

I was not very smart at all :banghead:

Thanks for the kind words. I am hoping to resolve this sooner rather than later so I can get back to my real life....

[eyesroll]

37. How old is your daughter?

My SO and his ex have butted heads on a few things of this nature...right now, I'm sure my SO would veto sleepaway camp because (a) summer is his main parenting time and (b) she's 5 and has never spent a night away from one parent or the other (grandparents all live far away and sleepover parties haven't come up yet). He vetoed a two-week car trip with her maternal grandparents (Mom would not be going) for the above reasons as well.

When she gets older, though, he'd be open to allowing trips and camp, assuming she's at least had a few opportunities to sleep at others' houses (and has done so without the 1 a.m. phone call to come get her) and the time could be made up some other way--or, at least, he wouldn't be stuck paying for a full summer of day camp but losing two weeks of it (which is what would happen now). If little MB is of a reasonable age and maturity for overnight camp, your ex isn't losing disproportionate parenting time with no way to make it up, and he's just being difficult...well, ick. Good luck.

[malta blue]

42. My daughter is 8 years old.

She spends 2-3 weeknights with her dad and every other weekend, plus one week of summer vacation uninterrupted and either february or april breaks (depending on the year) with him, in addition to the swapping of holidays, etc. So, summer is not his main parenting time. He sees her almost every day.

He cancelled her passport on me three years ago (after I gave him 6 weeks notice that I was planning on buying tickets and he waited until I sent him the itinerary to do so) because he thought I was going to abscond with the child. I threatened him with court and he finally signed off the following year to get her a new passport so we could visit my mom - my mom moved to the caribbean three years ago, but was an active participant in our daughter's life before the move, she saw her almost every day as well.

What we have done in the past is take the two weeks after her ghetto camp ends and each spend one week with her. I was going to do this for this camp as well, but I was also going to give him extra time with her before the new camp starts to make up for some of the days he would miss while she is away, but he has not even acknowledged that the time lost is an issue with him.

I just get no response :banghead:

[electron_blue]

44. Good luck, but I advise against just sending her anyway. More important to work this

out or give it more time. It sounds like he might be the kind of person who will send her somewhere else that you don't approve of just to prove his point and get even. You want to keep your veto power, so don't take away his. Not over this.

Give it some time, and then try again.

I have had to do this sort of thing, too.

[malta blue]

45. I can't just "send her anyway" without being in

violation of our custody arrangement, so I won't do that.

I will register her to hold her spot until the final payments are due, and if he still does not agree, then I lose the deposit, but at least that buys me more time.

He already vetoed sleepaway camp last summer. He will not look into any of the better daycamps in the area, claiming financial constraints - which I have as well, but for this camp, it would be paid for by little MB's grandmother - he contributes nothing. For the other daycamps in the area, they are full two and three years in advance, and then she always ends up at what I call the "ghetto" camp where they are not really supervised, the counselors can't help the kids with sunscreen or anything like that and my kid always comes home very sunburned.

So you see, I am not trying to override him on this, I really want him to work with me....

[electron_blue]

69. my comment was more directed against some of the advice others were giving you

I could tell you were trying to work with your ex and getting frustrated by it all. Maybe he will see why this one is better in the end. Does he know the other one is so poorly supervised? Now I am curious about his true reason for being against it.

[malta blue]

70. He knows all about the other camp - and even if she went

to sleepaway camp, she would still end up at the junk camp for the first part of the summer anyway.

The good news is that this morning he said he would be willing to consider the 2 weeks sleepaway session. I told him that was great, but that Little MB was asking for the 8 week session (which is true - she asked me this morning why she could not go for the FULL 8 weeks, why only half). LOL

I just emphasized how important it is to her and how she would benefit from being with kids her age, etc., etc. and hopefully he will come around....

BTW - He still gives no reason as to why he does not want her to go. I think it really is that he will miss her and he is chicken to say it. :shrug:

[Coyote_Bandit]

46. Could it be that the ex objects because

camp is four weeks long?

Might be interesting to find out if his response would be the same no reason given outright rejection of a one or two week camp experience.

Putting that forward as an alternative really puts him on the spot and makes you appear more accomodating and more willing to be flexible.

If he were to agree to a shorter camp experience this summer it might set the stage for him to be far more receptive to a lengthier camp experience in the future.

Just a thought.

[malta blue]

47. This same camp offers a two week "starter" program

and I mentioned that to him as well to try to get him to agree because I knew that once she was at the camp, there would be no way of getting her to leave.

He said nothing. The silence is the worst part :(

[Coyote_Bandit]

48. Be sure

to document his outright no reason given rejection of both alternatives.

You know he is documenting stuff. You need to be doing the same. Just in case.

I'm sorry. I loved summer camp even though it was only a week long. And even though I had lots of summer freedom. No child should be denied the experience as part of a power play and manipulation ploy. Here's hoping there is a compromise or some other great alternatives that come up.

Maybe look for a local daycamp that teaches arts or other creative skills. Ask the ex to contribute to cover the expense. And document his response.

Don't quit looking for alternatives. Either you document his complete lack of involvement and contribution to the child's development or he eventually agrees to something - which makes him more likely to agreeable to further activities.

Good luck.

[malta blue]

50. Thanks for the great advice.

Since he insists that everything be done via email, it is all getting documented.

As I said above, all the local camps that are worth anything are full two and three years out, and he has refused to even put her on the waiting list.

I had two summer camp experiences - one week at a sleepaway when I was 6 and one summer at a daycamp at 10. The daycamp was horrible - an NYC rec program type thing where we actually ended up going to the movies everyday because the counselors didn't want to do anything with us. So I had to beg for money from my evil stepmother every morning when she dropped me off.

The sleepaway was wonderful - I remember swimming in the lake, riding horses. I was an inner city kid from NYC - you can imagine how liberating that was....

[huskerlaw]

51. As a child of divorce...

I say, if the ex doesn't give you a reason, tell Little MB who is causing the problem. Not in a vindictive, mean way...just, as others have suggested, "Your father and I don't agree on this..."

My parents tried to spare me from being angry at anyone by dealing with everything themselves. It really doesn't work. As it turned out, if I didn't get my way on something, or if I felt the result was unfair, I ended up pissed at them both. The way I saw it, one of them was fucking me over and the other wasn't willing to fight for me. Often, I didn't know which parent was in which role, so I just took my anger out on both of them.

The few times that I was actually clued in, things typically worked out better. I could then petition the parent I disagreed with myself, thereby taking away any chances that they were making the decision in order to harm the other parent. Because then they realized that they'd be harming ME.

That said, it's a fine line between involving Little MB and pitting her against your ex. You've got to be very careful not to blame, but just to explain what the hold-up is. Also realize that this works the same way if YOU are the one that's on the "wrong" side of an issue. If there's ever a time when Little MB wants to do something and the ex says yes and you say no, you owe it to her to tell her that as well.

Good luck!

[malta blue]

52. Very sage advice...

I was a child of divorce too, but my dad never really involved homself in any decision making, so I could always blame my mom if something didn't go my way. And if mom said no, then dad said no anyway, so that was that.

I really am going to have to sit down and tell her the truth aren't I? :cry: I hate having to do it. She idolizes her Daddy and this will burst her bubble for sure, but then again, she wis going to reach the point where she hates both of us for one reason or another pretty soon anyway, right? :rofl:

Thanks for sharing your own experience. I really appreciate it.
:hi:

[huskerlaw]

56. The truth is always best

Of course this doesn't mean you need to involve her in every little thing that happens, and in fact, you shouldn't.

But in a situation like this, she deserves more than "I'm sorry, you can't go to camp."

I idolized my Dad too. He wasn't the custodial parent, so he never really disciplined me (we spent summers with him, but he lived halfway across the country), so he could do no wrong. It was difficult learning that he wasn't perfect, but it was necessary.

:hug:

[Gormy Cuss]

53. Silence is not cooperative.

Call your lawyer for advice.

I agree with those who said it's appropriate for Little MB to know that you and her father disagree on this but not until there is no opportunity to change his mind. At 8 she should not be in the position to nag either of her parents into something that s/he has decided against. Learning to play off the divorced parents against each other is not a good lesson. On the other hand, understanding that you two don't see eye to eye yet stand together as her parents is a good thing.

[malta blue]

57. I think the lawyer, unfortunately, will see dollar signs when

I call. He gives good advice, but it costs a hell of a lot of money to get it, and personally, I would rather spend the money on concrete objects - not telephone calls LOL.

All I can do at this point, is register her and hope that he changes his mind. I will continue to nag him until he gives me a bona fide reason why she should not go.

This has been going on since July 2007. I sent him a list of camps at that point and asked him to review so we could choose one. I got nothing.

I found out about this camp from my stepdad's niece since she is sending her daughter there (that child is 1 year older than little mb) and she thought it would be a great idea if the kids could go together. AND the camp is holding a spot until next week for Little MB because of the family connection (both this woman and her sister both went as children and their kids have gone there as well). Still I get nothing.

This is so unfair to the child. I could give a rat's ass, personally, but I want her to have all the things I did not, and then some.

[LynneSin]

71. I hate to say it but the Lawyer might be money well spent

I did sleepaway camp for ten years and loved it (it was a 2 week music program through the Central PA Methodist organization and although it was church camp it wasn't overly 'churchie').

If he's fighting you on now with camp what next? Cheerleading, Sports? Scholaristic opportunities? Eventually you will have to deal with this and you might as well get this out of the way right now. You said you want to spend money on concrete objects - well nothing is more 'concrete' than your child and if she doesn't get the opportunity to do things like camp and other programs that can enrich your child's life then the only loser in all of this is the child.

When you get the lawyer involved just put a list together of all things your child might do that you want to clear the path for. Here's a great example one that almost became a problem for me when I was in high school.

When I was in High School my select singing group was going to do a 2 week singing tour in Mexico at various churches and in a competition. Great, except one thing - I was under 18 and you need 2 parent signature to take your kid out of the country. Only problem, my father died a few years earlier. My mother and I had 2 days to get all the paperwork authorized including me carrying my dad's death certificate with me on my trip (talk about traumatic) just to get me into Mexico. I had a friend who had a similiar problem with her daughter, whom she is the soul caretaker who left no name for father on birth certificate. (She had to go in front of the judge)

So I would deal with these things now with the lawyer. Think of every situation that your daugther might want to do that would probably require 2 parent signatures and get it out of the way now. Personally I think it's money well spent.

[Eurobabe]

55. Sounds to me like....

He is trying to control the situation. If it were me, I would come up with 3 very rational reasons why this child should be allowed to go to camp, and tell him she is going. Until he comes up with concrete reasons as to why she should not go, you are making plans for her. Be strong MB!! :grouphug:

My 1st husband and I divorced when my daughters were only 3 & 5. It was amicable, and we shared joint custody. We made a pact to never trash one another, and to this day although we have very little contact (my girls are now 26 and almost 24) I make a point to praise him for being the great dad he is and was -- yeah there were things about him that I didn't like, I thought at times he was too soft on them (I'm just a guy who can't say no!). I guess my point is, as hard as it is, the best thing you can do is let your daughter see what kind of person he is as she grows up, she will form her own opinion.

Summer camp is a fabulous experience for any boy or girl, surely he would not want to deprive his daughter of this? :shrug:

[malta blue]

59. I'm sure you are right in that he is trying to control the

situation, but I have never been good at confrontation either. :shrug: I don't know that I could say all that in person to him, but then again, he wants everything via email, so I suppose that won't be an issue....LOL

Ugh, life can be so complicated sometimes....

[Bucky]

60. Are yall in separate towns far away from each other?

Can you put your girl on the phone to have him tell her "no" if he can't come do so in person?

[malta blue]

62. We live 15 minutes apart and he sees her at

least every other day....

HE is going to have to eat this one - not me!

[Eurobabe]

65. Sorry you have to go through this...

none of us really like confrontation, but maybe the universe is calling upon you to stand up for little MB? :shrug:

Hang in there. :hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

67. She needs to do the asking. Then it is not a power play over you but is

really about her