German penises "too small" for EU condoms.

[Sub Atomic]

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_358876.html

German penises 'too small for EU condoms'

Germany has demanded a rethink on EU guidelines on condom size after finding its average penis did not measure up.

.snip.

They reported the EU has overestimated the size of the average penis by almost 20% and insist other countries will discover the same.

Urologist Gunther Hagler, head of the team compiling the research, said: "By checking hundreds of patients we found German penises were too small for standard EU condoms.

"On average they were 14.48 cms long and 3.95 cms wide. That makes them much smaller than the EU standard condom size of 17 cms in length and 5.6 cms in width."

He denied the German man was any smaller than the rest of Europe, adding: "We think the EU has got its sums wrong, and if other countries were to check out their men's assets they would find the EU has made a mistake in its calculations.

.more.

[private_ryan]

1. can't wait till some girl in DU starts saying "size doesn't matter"

n/t

[Booberdawg]

4. ROTFLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

[CatWoman]

12. size doesn't matter

:evilgrin:

[private_ryan]

32. uh, huh

my favorite line is Chris Rock when he says that women lie about how good you are during sex and as soon as you leave "they run to some real dick".

Guys, size matters and women say that to make us feel us better. End of story.

jusk ask CatWoman :)

[ldf]

30. this is a guy saying

size doesn't matter.

afterall, no one "earned" their whopper of a dick. it just happened. it sure as hell doesn't make you better than any other guy.

so there.

[northzax]

2. damn

and I once got dumped for a German with a bigger penis. although, come to think of it, it does explain a lot of the warmongering problem, doesn't it?

[CBGLuthier]

3. for the curious, but lazy

That's 5.7 inches long and a little over 1.5 inches wide.

[Booberdawg]

5. Is that ALL???

:eyes:

[prolesunited]

7. Thanks!

I was wondering what the conversion was. And, as a woman, yes, I would be disappointed with that. Size may not be the only thing, but it DOES matter. :-)

[papau]

9. Actually 2 sizes in EU - and 5.7 is the large - small is 4,7 (20% of males

Of course that is errect

There are two variations on errect size - one is the getting hard - with little increase in size, and the other is a massive increase in size as it gets hard- but which gives you the 2.5 inch flacid.

So Clarence watches the unusual males with 12 inches or more flacid - but only at the USSC in his office - not at home because he has family values.

[TankLV]

11. I'm lazy - which one are you referring to (the smaller or larger size)?

nt

[CBGLuthier]

14. The smaller

The larger or EU standard of 17 cms is almost 6.7 inches and 5.7 cms is about 2.25 inches wide.

[papau]

16. The EU "standard" is not real life - the 2 sizes -4.7 and 5.7 are real

And the 2.5 flacid to double in size to 4.7 to 5.0 hard is normal

It is not normal for the "6" flacid to double in size to "12" hard

What we need is a good body part survey by village around the world!

:-)

[FloridaJudy]

40. Metric or English??

If you're talking about centimeters, *none* of those condoms would fit an average guy. And if you refer to inches, they'd still be a tight fit.

Of course, most condoms are s-t-r-e-t-c-h-y. It's amazing the punishment those things will take! My colleagues and I have blown them up to the size of watermelons as party balloons and/or filled them with several gallons of water for a laugh (and those are the cheap ones the state buys for pennies a piece).

As a Politically Correct DU female, I must - of course - confess that penises only come in three sizes: Large, Extra-large, and Thank-You-Goddess!

FloridaJudy, aka the CondomLady

(come on: ask me a question about safer sex: I dare you!)

[WoodrowFan]

13. claim

Just claim that it's eight inches. :evilgrin:

[sexybomber]

6. ROFLMAO

that's the funniest thing i've seen all week.

[Loonman]

8. See what happens when you invade Poland?

nt

[Hell Hath No Fury]

10. They already make...

a smaller condom for the Japanese market -- Germany shouldn't feel so bad. :)

[Throckmorton]

17. How well I know,

I have to special order the much small size.

Thank god for the internet.

Even the smaller size EU model is to big.

[dawg]

35. I recommend you not try to date ....

prolesunited! Ha! (Just kidding)

[Lady Freedom]

15. It's not how big it is...

it's how you use it!:evilgrin: :evilgrin: :evilgrin:

[Hell Hath No Fury]

38. How true!

Besides, there are gals out there who are of a more petite structure that appreciate that there are men out there who aren't build like Rex the Wild Stallion.

Sex can be like stuffing a size 9 foot into a size 5 shoe -- it can work but damn it don't feel so good. :)

[nuxvomica]

18. The Italians skewed the curve for the rest of Europe

[JewelDigger]

19. I always heard ...

...it was the Irish who were so 'cursed'. ;-)

[CBGLuthier]

20. Sure, and it 'tis

:)

[Christian73]

24. Well, I'm Irish

American and I don't have the Irish Curse.

}(

[JewelDigger]

33. A blessed mutant then, are ya?!

;-)

[BiggJawn]

21. It's not the Bore and Stroke that creates Horsepower...

It's the RPM's....
But now I see which part I got from my Irish ancestors...

:evilgrin:

[geniph]

22. And men wonder why women have no depth perception

all these years of being told that 3 inches is really 9...

[thermodynamic]

23. My ex was German, and boy did he have a nice sausage!

It's larger than the EU average and about the size as mine, too (an added incentive? :evilgrin: )

If Hitler controlled Germany, he'd chop off everybody elses' wieners so he'd look larger... :eyes:

[Christian73]

25. I've also been with a few Germans

who had no deficits in that department.

[BlueJazz]

26. Gee ....Mine's only 3 inches....

...Wide

[Dirk39]

27. I'm german and I work in the urology-department of a hospital...

and it seems to me that Hagler is right. Even if you go for that presumptions that asians would have smaller dicks and african men would have larger dicks. It's true, but it comes to milimeters in difference.
Although, oops...
Dirk (exclusively from the country of small penises)

[Catshrink]

28. So, Karl Rove is German, right?

And, the obvious corollary is....

[Kellanved]

29. could we please return to Nazi jokes?

In retrospect those were better. (And there are statistics: standard deviation....; not to mention: those EU norms are Bull-**** - desks are far too small for example)

[markus]

31. Hitler has only got on ball

Goering, has two but they are small.
Himmler has something similar
But mostly Germans have no balls at all.

<WWII drinking song learned from somebody's father a long time ago>

<no offense intended to anyone>

[AlienGirl]

34. LOL!

I heard that song as:

Hitler has only got one ball,
Himmler has two but they are small
Goering is busy comparing,
And Goebbels has no balls at all!

(No offense intended to anyone but top-ranking Nazis.)

Tucker

[underpants]

36. I was told more than once by German women that....

Once you've slept with an American you never want anything to do with German men. I don't think was necessarily a size thing just that they are a bit odd.

One summer I had a girlfriend who didn't want her neighbors to know that she was "seeing" an American. She wanted to marry a German but if word got out many of them would have nothing to do with her. We used to meet at the schwimbad and sneak back to her place. Great Summer.

[MiltonLeBerle]

37. It might help explain their aggressive tendencies thru history-

In one respect, they're just plain mad at the world,

and in the other- they're driven to overcompensate.

case in point, The Gustav Gun:



http://www.5ad.org/gun.htm

[Jonte_1979]

39. Hehe

"We think the EU has got its sums wrong, and if other countries were to check out their men's assets they would find the EU has made a mistake in its calculations."

Speak for yourselves, Fritz!