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Weekly Match Game Story: "Dakota's yuppie fucking scum parents named him because they're __ stupid"

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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 12:06 PM
Original message
Weekly Match Game Story: "Dakota's yuppie fucking scum parents named him because they're __ stupid"
Edited on Thu Jan-03-08 12:11 PM by Rabrrrrrr
Or, if you please, you can replace "Dakota" with any other obnoxious, idiot "precious" fucking new popular abomination of a name, like "Madison" or "Brianna" or "Jayden" or any name that's spelled incorrectly in a cute or precious way like "Mychayl" or "Jenyfyr" or that's just a random word like "Template" or "Sink" or "Whiteboard".

Standard rules: 10 words or more in the blank space.

Enjoy!
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 12:09 PM
Response to Original message
1. american kids with names like british actors:
ewan
spencer
liam

or kids with phonetically spelled names:

kylor
kaylee
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dropkickpa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 12:17 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Now now,
You named a scot, a house, and a mick. Thurman, Snottinham, etc would be more british to me.

As an aside, every single person in my family has an irish name. Been tradition for over a hundred years, since the ggggrandparents immigrated. Does that make us bad people?
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 12:26 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. what is an "irish" name?
aren't most of them named after catholic saints?

or do you mean gaelic?
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dropkickpa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 01:03 PM
Response to Reply #5
11. What I mean is
Some are traditional irish saint names, some gaelic, some are the gaelic versions of names, there's always been a mix. But if I ran down the list of my and my 5 brothers names, you'd be in no doubt whatsoever, sounds like roll-call in an irish classroom.
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 12:10 PM
Response to Original message
2. Families whose kids names all start with the same letter
So precious it makes me want to puke. David, Diane, Dylan, Deidre.... you weren't named because we like the name or it has any meaning to us - it just fits in with the rest. :eyes:
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Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 01:46 PM
Response to Reply #2
20. Deidre
What a beautiful name. What a beautiful, beautiful name.







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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 01:50 PM
Response to Reply #2
21. Mickey, Melody, Molina, Missy, Mindy
Mike and Molly's kids.
My sister-in-law.
:eyes:
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Phentex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 12:14 PM
Response to Original message
3. What's wrong with Shirley Template?
Sounds kinda cute. :)

(I know three dogs named Dakota, so now I can't see it as a kid's name!)
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Parche Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 12:28 PM
Response to Original message
6. "Rabrrrrr's yuppie fucking scum parents named him Rabrrrrr, because they're __ stupid"
"Rabrrrrr's yuppie fucking scum parents named him Rabrrrrr, because they're __ gawd damn
F-IN right wing Republicans and that is why they are so stupid" :hi:

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DarkTirade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 12:28 PM
Response to Original message
7. I was planning on giving my kids normal first names, but quirky middle names.
That way they'd have a cool and unique name... but it wouldn't be the one they're always called by so they wouldn't get picked on in school.

For a boy I'm definately leaning towards 'Loki' for the middle name. Not sure about a girl though.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 12:34 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Name the girl Kokapeli
:7
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DarkTirade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 01:04 PM
Response to Reply #8
12. I'm not gonna name my kids after a floutist.
I'm just not.

Long story.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 01:10 PM
Response to Reply #12
15. How about "Raven", then?
That still fits with the Loki theme, and Raven wasn't a piper.
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DarkTirade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 01:16 PM
Response to Reply #15
19. MMm... maybe. I dunno.
Raven's been done though.
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 12:38 PM
Response to Original message
9. I don't have kids, but I agree with the advice I once heard:
"When naming your baby, imagine the child at ages forty and eighty, and think about how the name would fit a person of that age."

This writer went on to say that in sixty or seventy years, all the old ladies in the nursing homes will be named "Ashley" and "Brittany."
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 12:59 PM
Response to Original message
10. OK
Edited on Thu Jan-03-08 01:01 PM by ZombieNixon
"Dakota's yuppie fucking scum parents named him because they're unimaginative fucking yuppie scum," Rabrrrrrr said, turning around in his seat to fiddle with the drop down DVD player that Dakota was watching from the backseat.
"I mean," he continued, oblivious to the world around him. "How would you feel, Dakota, if some native Americans named their kid 'Viking' because it sounded like a neat 'ethnic' name?" Dakota, who was three, didn't understand any of this, but Rabrrrrrr plowed on anyway, while Dakota stared blankly at "Animal House."
"Really, how much sense does that not make? It's like all those other obnoxious, idiot 'precious' fucking new popular abominations of names, like 'Madison' or 'Brianna' or 'Jayden' or any name that's spelled incorrectly in a cute or precious way like 'Mychayl' or 'Jenyfyr' or that's just a random word like 'Template' or 'Sink' or 'Whiteboard'."
At that point, Rabrrrrrr's car plowed right into a lamppost, and Rabrrrrrr felt stupid.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 01:07 PM
Response to Reply #10
14. That's pretty good!
:rofl:

I love the inclusion of the drop down DVD player in the car.

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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 01:13 PM
Response to Reply #14
17. I'd name my kid Viking.
:7 At least a middle name.
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LadyoftheRabbits Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 01:53 PM
Response to Reply #17
22. Ehem
x(


:rofl:
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 01:04 PM
Response to Original message
13. Chipotle
You know it is coming. Somewhere out there some dumasses are going to name their kid Chipotle.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 01:12 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. And spelled Cheepoatlee. Or maybe cH3Ep0aTL33.
I'm sure we'll see it.

Probably see MmQqMtXXyGkElowQ, pronounced, of course, "Alden".

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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 01:16 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. That's funny
:bounce:
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Burma Jones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 02:00 PM
Response to Original message
23. Not only vapid trend obsessed Coprophages, but also mind-numblingly
I wouldn't name a fish Dakota
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ashling Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 02:22 PM
Response to Original message
24. One of my classes last semester had a
Brittany, Britny, and a Brittney,
and what's with pronouncing ch like sh? Cherrel (pronounced: Sherrel) , Chirley (pronounced: Shirley), Chandra (you guessed it, Shandra) (
we also had a Taquila, Vannaittikae, and a Charakietha (sh)

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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 02:38 PM
Response to Reply #24
25. Taquila?!
:wow:

I guess we know why little Taquila was conceived.
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-03-08 02:40 PM
Response to Original message
26. A Rabrrrrrr by any other name...
would still be a very grouchy fucker, I imagine.
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