so i'm feeling a sense of dread about the next few days

[SPKrazy]

no reason to i guess...

but, tomorrow me, my dad and my sister will go to my wife's house to eat with her dad, step mother, brother, and my son.

It just feels WEIRD...

I will do it because my son is the most important thing in my life

Christmas will be spent there too so we can watch SPK jr. open presents

It shouldn't be hard, but it is.

I'm dreading it. I'm feeling lonely tonight too.

hugs appreciated :P

:hug:

[LeftyFingerPop]

1. All you have to do is get through it...

and be there for your son. Merry Christmas SPK...all the holiday stuff will be over soon. :hug:

[SPKrazy]

2. thanks friend

i'm taking a deep breath man

:hug:

[LeftyFingerPop]

5. SPK...

truth be told, I am getting to despise the obligatory family gatherings at Christmas. just remember that it will make your son so happy having you there. Put a smile on, say all the right things, start off on the right foot when you go, and it will all be over before you know it.

[SPKrazy]

7. yeah

all be over before I know it

:hi:

[UTUSN]

3. Being present - Showing up -------- is 99% of whatever!1 n/t

[SPKrazy]

4. that is true...

it's the being present part that feels hard

:hi:

[RainDog]

6. try to breathe

don't take anything too seriously. and have a hug.
if you start to feel weird in the moment, keep in mind that your kid will get to have some good memories of this time and, as you said, that's important. if it seems too weird, go outside and give yourself a positive talk...

an ex is a really, really weird thing. you're so intimate in so many ways, but after you've split, you don't know them anymore... the person you knew and the person you were aren't those people anymore and you can let go of hurts that are part of the past, but not the present or future. maybe that helps?

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

10. thanks for your kind words raindog

:hug:

something to think about

yeah, take care of myself

and make it good for my kid.

that's what matters.

:hi:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

8. I'm sorry it's weird.

:hug:
I hope you have a good time and you guys can become amicable.
Duckie

[SPKrazy]

11. we are amicable really

its her family that i haven't been around

just a sense of fear i guess

and something else that i can't put my finger on...

:hug:

[skygazer]

9. Hugs coming at you

When I was first divorced from my first husband, he would disappear from our daughters' lives for long periods. When I called him on it, he confessed that it was just "too hard" for him. I told him I understood that but pointed out that it was damn hard for them, too and that he was the adult and they were just kids.

You're doing the right thing by being there for your son, SPK. He won't ever forget that. :hug: :hug: :hug:

[SPKrazy]

12. thanks skygazer...

:hug: :hug: :hug:

I know it is the best and right thing to do...

I can just think of many other things to do

[Adsos Letter]

13. Shouldn't be hard...?

Of course these kinds of situations are hard...that is why less responsible and less selfless people don't make the effort. You are putting yourself into an uncomfortable situation for the sake of your son...that is one of the definitions of a real father. The value in that for your son will be worth more than can be expressed, now and down the road.

I hope the best for you and all of your family SPK...from what little I know from your postings about the situation it sounds to me like you are doing the best you can in a difficult situation...so many other people just choose to opt out.

Good on you...people like you always get my respect, for what it is worth, and make me a bit less ready to whine about my own, much easier, situation.

And, as a person who has suffered severe depression, anxiety disorder, and OCD (of the disabling variety), I can relate to those issues too.

I think you must have a great deal of internal strength, and character.

Here is hugs to you... :hug:

Merry Christmas.

[SPKrazy]

14. i don't know

thanks for the kind words

I hope it works smoothly

i'm grateful for your words though, thanks

:hug:

[Adsos Letter]

15. I hope it works smoothly too, SPK...

...but the simple fact that you will be there will speak volumes to your son, now, and in the future when he is able to see things as a man. You are doing an important thing that many others refuse to do...you are taking the high road.

:thumbsup:

[SPKrazy]

17. here's to the high road

:toast:

thanks

[Adsos Letter]

19. To the high road.

:toast:

[SPKrazy]

35. cheers!

:toast:

[HuskerDU]

16. Hang in there Southpawkicker.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

18. thanks husker

:hug:

[lost-in-nj]

20. hey SPK

at least your wife is including you......



lost


not included

[SPKrazy]

21. okay...

that is true...

it is just hard lost

i'm sorry you aren't included.

you should be.

[Inchworm]

22. Hugs to ya!

:hug::hug:

I'm also hit with the dreads. I dread all the way up to New Years though. Funny how the mind works...

:pals:

[SPKrazy]

24. Well then...

:hug: :hug:

[Inchworm]

26. thanky

:)

[SallyMander]

23. All the hugs you want darling

Of course :D

Hang in there -- i'm sure it'll be tough, but your son will be so happy to have you there.

[SPKrazy]

25. yes he will

and that is really ALL that matters :hug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

27. Just focus on him...

That's what it's all about, right?

And don't forget that you're loved. :loveya::hug:

[SPKrazy]

31. thanks goddess!

he is what it is ALL about

:hug: :loveya: too

[CaliforniaPeggy]

28. My dear Southpawkicker...

I think you're are to be congratulated!

You're doing the very best thing for your son...Being there for him!

It will be fine...

I'm hoping that everyone has their eyes on this...that your son deserves the best holiday possible, and then they will act accordingly...

Hugs for you, sweetie...:hug: :hug: :hug:

You will be in my thoughts tomorrow...

[SPKrazy]

32. Thanks my dear California Peggy

thanks

:hug: :hug: :hug:

I'll think about the people that love me while I'm there with the son that loves me.

Hey, at least my dad will be there, my sister will prolly be shopping

:hi:

[TK421]

29. Hugs....galore, and so-much-more

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: I'm sure it will be alright, but do keep me updated on the situation.

Right now, I REALLY have to get to bed, because I REALLY have to work tomorrow ( my boss feels that we will sell tons of gift cards tomorrow, so.... ) You have a good night, and try not to think too much about this, OK?

[SPKrazy]

33. thanks friend!

:yourock:

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[supernova]

30. Aww, SPK

:hug:

I've been there and the last few xmases haven't been my ideal either. Sometimes I wish I could go someplace sunny and not worry about any of it.

Just try to concentrate on enjoying the small moments, rather than dreading the whole day. The taste of freshly brewed coffee. Really great food that someone took the time to make by hand. Your son's laughter. Snow, if you have it.

Before you know it, this holiday will be in the past.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

34. thanks supernova!!!

you're always so sweet

:hug: :hug: :hug:

no snow, but hey, the good things are what matter...

[Pushed To The Left]

36. One hug coming up!

:hug:

[crim son]

37. I send you hugs, best wishes, excellent freaking vibes

and my conviction that you will do this and do it well. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: