Need advice on dispute over hockey tickets

[Coventina]

Maybe I just need to quit going to events.....

Scenario: SO and I were going to hockey game with another couple (4 of us). Game is tonight. The woman in the other couple can't go. The man (a mutual friend of many years of SO and I)calls SO and says, "Hermione can't go. Do you know anyone who would like to go tonight?" SO says, I'll make some phone calls. He calls me, and asks if my brother would like to go. My brother loves sporting events, and due to his recent break-up with his fiancee, he's free most evenings.

I call my brother, he's enthusiastic about the idea, and we are making plans to meet for ticket exchange. I get a phone call on my cell phone, it's my SO saying that our friend "Ron" just contacted him, saying the ticket has already been spoken for by another of Ron's friends.

This makes me angry, as I feel like a chump for inviting my brother and then having to dis-invite him.
SO says, "Hey call Ron and figure it out."
I call Ron and explain my dissatisfaction with being made to look like a jerk. Then I start crying and hang up.

My brother, who is laid back, isn't mad at me or anything. But I still am pretty upset about the whole thing. Am I overreacting?
Ron said "sorry" but didn't seem to think he had done anything wrong.
And now I get to go to a hockey game with him. I don't want to feel angry and resentful the whole time. How can I resolve this?

[radwriter0555]

1. Sorry, but yes, you're over-reacting. Fuggedabowdit.

It's not a big deal in any way, shape or form...

He hasn't done anything wrong, he was trying to make sure he had his bases covered...

Enjoy the game. Make him buy you an extra hot dog.

[Coventina]

2. I realize that it was his ticket to give away, BUT

I just feel that it was rude to offer it and then take it away.

I feel that it shows a lack of respect to me, to put me in that position.

I'll grant you the overreacting, because I am an overly sensitive person. However, I feel there could have been another way to "cover his bases."

[radwriter0555]

4. What's to be served by hashing, grudging, gnashing, anger, frustration

and upset?

An awful lot of time and harsh emotion over imagined slights.

This is a new day. Far better to enjoy it, make the most of it, and find your bliss, than get yourself all worked up over a ticket to a sporting event.

What if you DIE tommorrow? Your last day will have been spent in anger and enveloped in negative emotion...

I want to make sure my last day on this planet was spent appreciating the memory of the AMAZING rainbow I saw yesterday, of the way the sunshine hits the mountaintops on the hollywood hills at dawn.. of looking at the pic of the silly little itty bitty baby hedgehog that someone posted here.

Focus on the good things, not the negative things. Enjoy life.

[Liberal Christian]

5. Sure, he could have covered bases differently

He could have said, "I'm trying to get someone to buy this other ticket from me. I have a few feelers out, but I wonder if you would ask around as well." Then you might have asked your brother differently, saying it was more of a possibility.

But that's all the realm of what might have happened. It's not what did happen. So you have a choice. You can choose to make a big deal about it in your own mind, driving a wedge into your relationship with this person, or you can just say, "Oops, I guess we could have all handled that better," and move on.

You can't control what other people do. You can, however, control your response to it. You can choose to find a way to put positive energy into the world or negative. It's up to you.

[DK666]

3. My answer

Would totally depend on who was playing. ;)


Just let it go everything will work out and soon be forgotten.

[Bunny]

6. I think you're right to be a little pissed.

If he was going to go ahead and find someone to take his ticket, why did he bother to call your SO for help with it? Why didn't he just find a taker, then call your SO to tell him? Sounds like a crappy thing to do on his part. He shouldn't have involved your SO unless he had exhausted every one of his own contacts first. Just my opinion, from someone who attends approximately one sporting event/year! I wouldn't make a HUUUGE issue over it, especially if your brother is pretty laid back, but I'd be leery of trying to help this guy in the future.

[Rainbowreflect]

7. I understand how you feel.

I think I would feel the same way.
Is it really important to you that you go to the game? Maybe you might want to stay home and let you brother go with the "guys".

[Misinformed01]

8. If that is your biggest problem right now

you are incredibly lucky, and should be on your knees thanking whatever it is that you believe in and hoping your good luck in life continues.

[3rdParty]

9. depends on you...

What does your partner say about it? Taking your side or the other guy? Whose tickets are they? Who paid or were they free?

If its going to bother you just being there next to him during the game (as I would be) (It sounded like you are still very upset). Then tell him that you will not be going to the game since you are giving your ticket to your brother since you are not comfortable breaking your work. Then you can all choose to not even go and do something else with your brother & partner.
Or you could scalp the tickets and go for a nice dinner or something.
Or even better, if its not a sold out game, sit in a different section (or trade up with a scalper in the parking lot to sit somewhere else)

Sometimes guys need to understand why they are wrong and to understand someone elses side of the issue by actions - since rarely to words work.

[Coventina]

10. Okay, all is resolved now

"Ron" sent me an email apologizing and admitting he put me in a bad place with my brother.
He offered to buy my brother a ticket.

I am completely not mad anymore. I really am not a grudge-holder. I was upset, and maybe more than I should have been, but I do not usually hold onto grudges.

I am hyper-sensitive, though, and do take things harder than I should. I am trying to work on this in my personality, but as you can see, some things still catch me out.

I emailed Ron back and said all was forgiven and apologized for getting unduly upset. I told him not to worry about getting a ticket for my brother as he was not upset about the whole deal.

Thanks to all of you for your support and suggestions. I really do appreciate it, and the time and effort you put in analyzing and responding to me. You guys are the best!
:grouphug:

[Braden]

11. send your brother in your place?

:shrug:

if you dont want to be involved. Just a thought. My first thought was tell Ron that your brother is coming and you aren't going to uninvite him.

I have friends who do this all the time.