Betty Bowers or Betty Crocker?

[Bossy Monkey]

A walkover is what I'm expecting... (Actually, I hope Friedan wins, but as it's a very flippant poll I won't be too disappointed if she doesn't.)

I apologize in advance for the ineradicable earworm.

[Bossy Monkey]

1. Need a tiebreaker, y'all n/t

[achtung_circus]

2. Is your question which one I'd do??

or is it more esoteric?

[Bossy Monkey]

3. Well, considering that the two in the subject line are fictitious...

it'd be a neat trick, but seeing how the voting is going so far, yeah, it seems people are thinking the way you're thinking.

[terrya]

4. I'm shocked that there was no love for Ugly Betty in your poll.

There is now. :-)

[bridgit]

5. Bettie Page...

[Bossy Monkey]

9. Damn! I KNEW I misspelled this! Apologies to Bettie wherever she is n/t

[GreenPartyVoter]

6. My late MIL betty :^)

[baldguy]

7. There aren't a lot of good Bettys anymore.

Betty Grable




Betty White




Bruce Banner's babe Betty Ross (played by Jennifer Connelly)




Mitsubishi G4M "Betty" medium bomber

[Ivan Sputnik]

8. Uh, Page...

[stuntcat]

10. Betty Carter

:loveya: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2b7-wpy6NwY :loveya:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

11. I never understood why Barney & Betty named their kid "Bam Bam"

Later, in some kind of sick overcompensation for the fact that his dad was two feet tall, they made the grown-up Bam Bam a behemoth and paired him with the girl next door, Pebbles. We all know that Fred Flintstone had chronic anger management issues. The Bam Bam thing probably only made matters worse.

I imagine Bam Bam has something like "Bam Bam, Thank You M'am" stenciled on the side of his Stone-Age Camaro, maybe one of those "Ass or Grass...No One Rides For Free" license plate holders, too.

I'll bet that when he opens his door and gets out in Fred's driveway about 50 Budweiser cans clatter out and roll down into the gutter.

I'll bet the guy who works at the drugstore is a personal friend and every time Bam Bam goes in to buy his bi-weekly supply of condoms, Fred gets a call. Fred probably drowns his sorrows in a couple of racks of bronto ribs and passes out on the couch. He remembers when he was Bam-Bam's age and how things were different. How the women used to whisper "Yabba Dabba DOO!" and giggle mercilessly under their breath as he passed by in the hallway at his high school. How he took his cousin to the prom and still tried to get to first base anyway when he took her home and she slapped him and called him a pig and told all of her friends and then the GUYS started doing the "Yabba Dabba DOO" thing in the hallway TOO. He smiles to himself when he realizes that no one knows Wilma is a mail-order bride from the Urkraine and that her citizenship is her reward for her silence.

Betty, lonely and rejected, spends her nights reading prehistoric romance novels that have paintings of a bronze-chested Fabio on the cover. She reads of faraway lands and lovers with flowing manes of hair and six pack abs on pirate ships and stuff and as she reads she looks over her shoulder at the two foot pudgy dwarf snoring loudly in the bed nest to her. She closes the book and places it on the night stand, snuggles her pillow and gently sobs herself to sleep.

Yeah, that was one funny show.

[Bossy Monkey]

12. Brilliantly done. You should break this out as a separate thread.

In case you're really wondering, as I recall, Bam-Bam was adopted. So his height would have been unrelated to Barney's lack thereof. Doesn't really affect your brilliant little narrative, of course. Might relate to his own anger management issues, though. ("Bam! Bam! BAM bam bam!")