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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:35 PM Original message |
Signs that a first date is going to be bad... |
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rug (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:37 PM Response to Original message |
1. "Don't mind that, it's healing nicely." |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:39 PM Response to Reply #1 |
2. Ooooog! nt |
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taterguy (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:39 PM Response to Original message |
3. The guy pees in public |
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Fire Walk With Me (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:40 PM Response to Reply #3 |
4. The girl pees in public |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:49 PM Response to Reply #4 |
22. Ditto. |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:40 PM Response to Reply #3 |
5. That'll do it. |
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JVS (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:40 PM Response to Original message |
6. She keeps talking about her ex |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:41 PM Original message |
Yeah, I've gotta stop doing that! nt |
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RetroLounge (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:40 PM Response to Original message |
7. "hang on, it's my husband/wife on the phone" |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:42 PM Response to Reply #7 |
12. That's a deal-breaker, right there. |
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RetroLounge (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:49 PM Response to Reply #12 |
23. Well, you would think, yes... |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:55 PM Response to Reply #23 |
28. A good thing, too! |
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Writer (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:41 PM Response to Original message |
8. "I have this funny little itch down..." |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:44 PM Response to Reply #8 |
14. That's a great way to get rid of someone who likes you, but you don't like them back. |
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Fire Walk With Me (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:41 PM Response to Original message |
9. You also meet their probation officer. |
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rug (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:42 PM Response to Reply #9 |
11. They show up with their probation officer. |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:45 PM Response to Reply #11 |
16. Are you and Peake co-ordinating your answers? nt |
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Fire Walk With Me (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:49 PM Response to Reply #16 |
21. He was posting the correct version. |
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Guaranteed (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 12:39 AM Response to Reply #11 |
79. They're married to their probation officer. nt |
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MrCoffee (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:41 PM Response to Original message |
10. "don't you think George Bush is the bestest president ever?" |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:46 PM Response to Reply #10 |
17. I've dated my share of losers, but have never dated a Republican. And never will. nt |
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MrCoffee (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:48 PM Response to Reply #17 |
20. i blind-dated a couple...bad times, let me tell you |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:50 PM Response to Reply #20 |
25. You blind-dated a couple? So, it was a threesome? nt |
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MrCoffee (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:52 PM Response to Reply #25 |
26. how dare you take my perfectly innocent post and perv it up! |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:53 PM Response to Reply #26 |
27. Hahahaa - you, Anne Coulter and Pat Buchanan? |
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MrCoffee (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:55 PM Response to Reply #27 |
29. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!! |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:56 PM Response to Reply #29 |
30. Oh God, I don't feel well... |
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liberaltrucker (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:44 PM Response to Original message |
13. "I'm gay" |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:47 PM Response to Reply #13 |
18. And did it work? |
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liberaltrucker (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:49 PM Response to Reply #18 |
24. Sure did |
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Frosty1 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:45 PM Response to Original message |
15. She reaches over and locks the car door . |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:48 PM Response to Reply #15 |
19. Yeah. Kind of hard not to take that personally! nt |
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texas1928 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:57 PM Response to Original message |
31. "The CDC said I shouldn't, but I think I am fine." |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 07:00 PM Response to Reply #31 |
33. Tell her you'll bring the wine if she brings the lab report... |
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Dukkha (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 06:58 PM Response to Original message |
32. the cell phone is put out on the table |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 07:02 PM Response to Reply #32 |
34. Do people do that? I'd smack the thing to the floor! |
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SalmonChantedEvening (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 07:06 PM Response to Original message |
35. "But enough about me, what do you think of me?" |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 07:12 PM Response to Reply #35 |
36. After 8 consecutive sentences beginning with the pronoun "I," the offended party |
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SalmonChantedEvening (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 07:21 PM Response to Reply #36 |
38. The I's have had it law? |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 07:58 PM Response to Reply #38 |
39. Yes! Also known to some as the "Ay, ay, ay" amendment. |
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Cabcere (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 07:17 PM Response to Original message |
37. He's my ex from high school? |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 08:00 PM Response to Reply #37 |
40. And he's still wearing the same sweater vest? Yeah, bad date. nt |
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BlueIris (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 08:41 PM Response to Original message |
41. If you're asked to sign a non-disclosure agreement before you head inside the restaurant. |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 09:16 PM Response to Reply #41 |
42. That definitely would qualify. |
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DarkTirade (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 09:24 PM Response to Reply #42 |
43. ... that might be a sign of a bad date, but it's also probably a sign of an INTERESTING date too. |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 09:30 PM Response to Reply #43 |
44. If nothing else, at least it would make a good war story. nt |
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DarkTirade (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 09:37 PM Response to Reply #44 |
45. ... except that you signed the non-disclosure agreement so you can't tell the story. :( |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 09:48 PM Response to Reply #45 |
48. Aha! Look closely and you will see that I signed it as...George Washington!!!! |
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DarkTirade (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 09:51 PM Response to Reply #48 |
49. Brilliant! Now your blind date has been hoist by their own... um... hmm. |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 09:54 PM Response to Reply #49 |
52. Yeah, that...thing. (Worst screen-name I could've chosen. Unchangeable!) |
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DarkTirade (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 09:59 PM Response to Reply #52 |
55. Well then, by choosing that screenname you were... umm... hmm... :P |
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kaiden (811 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 09:45 PM Response to Original message |
46. He's wearing a mock turtleneck sweater that zips up the back. |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 09:51 PM Response to Reply #46 |
50. OK, this is getting a little too creepy now, ya know? Now, cut it out! |
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GOPisEvil (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 09:46 PM Response to Original message |
47. Can you come over here? I can't be more than 100' from my house. |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 09:52 PM Response to Reply #47 |
51. And he wants me to bring the pizza? |
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Perry Logan (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 09:58 PM Response to Original message |
53. She screams. |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 10:21 PM Response to Reply #53 |
60. And she hasn't even smelled your breath yet... |
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Dr. Strange (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 09:59 PM Response to Original message |
54. "Do you mind if my parents come along?" |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 10:22 PM Response to Reply #54 |
61. Not a good sign. Not at all. |
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Perry Logan (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 10:02 PM Response to Original message |
56. She performs an elaborate "purification ritual" involving the use of human blood. |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 10:23 PM Response to Reply #56 |
62. Hers, yours, or otherwise? |
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BlueJazz (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 10:05 PM Response to Original message |
57. "You don't have an aversion to Needles, do you ?? |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 10:23 PM Response to Reply #57 |
63. Is he an anesthesiologist? |
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sarge43 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 10:08 PM Response to Original message |
58. One of the date's parents accompanies him/her all night. |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 10:24 PM Response to Reply #58 |
64. Are they paying? |
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sarge43 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 10:34 PM Response to Reply #64 |
66. No. It's a bad date, remember? n/t |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 10:43 PM Response to Reply #66 |
67. Oh, great. First date, and already I have 3 new dependents. |
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DarkTirade (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 10:46 PM Response to Reply #58 |
68. The Duras sisters were kind of butterfaces... |
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sarge43 (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 10:57 PM Response to Reply #68 |
69. Planning to initiate a mating ritual? Make sure to bring a first aid kit. |
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DarkTirade (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 11:07 PM Response to Reply #69 |
70. I was thinking of bringing a bat'leh, but that works too. :P |
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fudge stripe cookays (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 10:11 PM Response to Original message |
59. He says... |
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baldguy (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 10:32 PM Response to Original message |
65. You order hossenfeffer and its served as a whole carcass, head & all. |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 11:28 PM Response to Reply #65 |
71. Serves you right for not asking her what she'd like before ordering! Bad date, for sure. |
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baldguy (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 11:52 PM Response to Reply #71 |
72. That's what I got for me. |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 01:21 AM Response to Reply #72 |
83. Oh - did that really happen? Are you a hossenpfeffer type of guy? |
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Blue-Jay (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 11:53 PM Response to Original message |
73. *ring ring*..."Hold on. That's my husband..." |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 01:22 AM Response to Reply #73 |
84. Covered that one, a bit upthread. |
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baldguy (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 11:58 PM Response to Original message |
74. I've got another one. |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 01:23 AM Response to Reply #74 |
86. No problem, as long as he didn't point it at yours. |
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MonkeyFunk (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Mon Nov-19-07 11:58 PM Response to Original message |
75. She offers you sweet tea |
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Blue-Jay (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 12:07 AM Response to Reply #75 |
77. Why don'tcha have a seat right over there? |
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MonkeyFunk (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 01:23 AM Response to Reply #77 |
85. God, I hate hearing that. |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 01:46 AM Response to Reply #85 |
91. I hate that girl, anyway. She's never ready on time, is always doing her damned wash and |
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MonkeyFunk (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 01:56 AM Response to Reply #91 |
93. I know! |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 03:34 AM Response to Reply #93 |
94. OMG - I just lost it!!!!!!! Too much! |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 01:25 AM Response to Reply #75 |
87. Now THAT's a bad date. Even if you hit the floor running, you're still gonna be a tv star! |
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Richard Steele (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 12:06 AM Response to Original message |
76. When she or he keeps calling their therapist for advice on the ongoing dinner conversation. nm |
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petronius (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 12:38 AM Response to Original message |
78. He didn't go to Jared... |
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LibDemAlways (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 12:55 AM Response to Original message |
80. "I forgot my wallet. Can you loan me the money for |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 03:42 AM Response to Reply #80 |
95. Yup - I had that date, too! |
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evlbstrd (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 01:00 AM Response to Original message |
81. It's OK. |
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Lydia Leftcoast (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 01:13 AM Response to Original message |
82. Some true stories: |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 01:29 AM Response to Reply #82 |
88. Please tell me these didn't all happen to you, brave soul! |
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Lydia Leftcoast (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 01:26 PM Response to Reply #88 |
100. They did indeed, and they made me wary about answering personals ads |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 01:35 PM Response to Reply #100 |
101. Jeez, I don't blame you. |
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Sacajawea (797 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 01:30 AM Response to Reply #82 |
89. Wow...LL...your losers sure beat my losers..... |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 01:43 AM Response to Reply #89 |
90. How about a first date for "dinner and a movie." Turns out KFC was closed, and |
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ThomCat (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 02:03 PM Response to Reply #82 |
102. Wow. Sounds like you've some absolute winners. |
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Pierre.Suave (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 03:50 PM Response to Reply #82 |
104. Oh, thats too bad |
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Lydia Leftcoast (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 05:57 PM Response to Reply #104 |
107. Most of those incidents took place in Portland |
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Capn Sunshine (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 01:51 AM Response to Original message |
92. Handcuffs in plain view on the dashboard |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 03:44 AM Response to Reply #92 |
96. Not to mention the shovel, garbage bag and duct tape he asks you to hold |
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Capn Sunshine (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 04:15 AM Response to Reply #96 |
97. and he's wearing gloves- the plastic surgical kind |
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kwassa (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 09:12 AM Response to Original message |
98. They have a current boyfriend they don't tell you about until later |
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hisownpetard (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 09:46 AM Response to Reply #98 |
99. Mm, sounds like a good start to a non-relationship. |
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ruiner4u (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 03:22 PM Response to Original message |
103. "I like to have sex on the first date" |
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EstimatedProphet (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 04:44 PM Response to Original message |
105. "Friday? OK. I should be done giving birth by then." |
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Capn Sunshine (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore | Tue Nov-20-07 04:46 PM Response to Original message |
106. Her ex works at the place she asked to go to. |
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